Archives for December 2015

December 31, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Swaziland 2016

Our New Year hasn’t kicked off exactly as I planned.  Hahahaha.  Sickies everywhere, but I think we’re on the mend.  I mean, everyone kept down their breakfast so far and Hudson did not wake up in the middle of the night to report to me he thinks he’s dying #asthma, so that’s a solid win in my books.

Our couch cushion is fully exposed because Amon barfed all over it laying face down.  It’s dry clean only, but I was all, screw it!  And threw it in the washing machine.  I’m a rule breaker and oddly enough, not fond of puke all over our couch.

Hard truth learned in 2015:  If you put something up on a pedestal/make it an idol…oh say, like your new Ikea couch, God will most definitely bring that idol crashing down hard and fast via red paint and marker by small lady toddler, ink pen crushed by man husband while sleeping on couch, throw up, throw up and more throw up.  Truth people, truth.

Tomorrow 2016 rolls on in and no one can stop it.  We’ve been dreaming about 2016 and what that may look like…what God has in store.  One thing I’m in hot pursuit of is Swaziland.  I’m itching to get back and see our friends and all those precious kiddos again.  This year was huge for my heart in so many ways and God showed me more than ever if He wants something done, He will do it.  He knocked out the playground fun just like that.  He proved Himself rock solid and showed off completely.  We all just sat in awe and wonder of His greatness.

I was exchanging messages with a lady yesterday about scheduling a Bible journaling class.  She asked to make the payment directly to the Ngungwane garden fund and when I went to pull the link for her there sat the garden fund finished…fully funded.  It’s so crazy awesome to watch God do what only He can do, but also watch Him use our gifts and talents and abilities when we offer them up to Him.

We’re working on gathering our team for our next trip coming up in May…we’re leaving May 28th to be exact.  I’m hoping some of you may come with us.  We’ll be going back to the Ngungwane carepoint again…spending crazy good time with the ladies and kiddos.  You can read about our past trips and what we did below:

Ngungwane {Swaziland, Africa}

The Sweetest Feet

 Empowering & Self-Sustaining

Swazi From My Phone

Tables & Small Bright Red Chairs

Home

Comfort, Courage & Hope

He Is Fun

Fun Day

Unanimous

Tees For Ngungwane #theDealio

That was quite a little walk down memory lane for me.  Makes me a tad weepy.  You guys, God is just good.  And it’s an honor when we get invited into people’s homes and stories.  Just an honor.

So are you interested in going with us?  If so, you can message me HERE or email me at pitterpatterart at gmail dot com  I really hope you will consider it.  Last years trip was crazy good and I made several brand new friends because of it.  Meeting new people is good.  In fact, just this morning Sidney…one of the ladies who went last year who knew not a soul…yeah, well we’re legit friends now and she informed me Target has Swedish Fish Trident gum.  She knows me well.  This is the kind of thing you have to look forward too 🙂

Hope your New Year’s Eve is awesome.  Here’s to all the amazingness 2016 holds.

Happy Thursday.

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December 29, 2015 By 8 Comments

January Bible Journaling Class

Well it’s been a few months since I’ve been able to host a Bible Journaling Class and with January right around the corner I figured we’d start back at it again.  One of the greatest things God has done in my life is nudging me towards Himself through His word…then throw in color and creativity and I just can’t even begin to tell you how much I absolutely love His word and this journaling process.  Game changer you guys!

So here are the details:

When:  Saturday January 23

Time: 1pm-4pm

Where:  Our house…near Nashville, TN

Cost: $50

As with every class, we keep none of the money and it all gets given away to do some kind of good.  If Ngungwane’s Garden Fund is wrapped up by then, then we’ll give to something different, but if not the money will head there.  I will definitely keep you posted.

And if you are wanting to do some last minute, end-of-the-year giving, all donations to the Ngungwane Garden Fund are tax deductible.

This class will be 3 hours in length and we will talk about the process of Bible journaling and I will share how I go about this each day.  We will also talk about supplies and tips, tricks and techniques I use.  There will be time for questions throughout the class as well as time for you to do some of your own Bible journaling and practicing.

Each person will bring their own supplies.  You can read about the supplies I use on THIS POST, but please feel free to bring the items which work for you.  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PURCHASE THE ITEMS I USE.

There are 6 spots still available for this class.  If you would like a spot email me at pitterpatterart at gmail dot com or Message Me Here.  You can reserve more than one spot, so chat with your family and friends and make it girl’s day.  This will also be a kid free time…sorry, no kiddos.

I am teaching this class to larger groups, women’s events, conferences and private parties/small groups, etc now.  It totally delights my heart to bring the class to you.  You can message me HERE if this is something you are interested in.  Every penny from these events also is given away and goes towards doing some kind of good.  A win, win!

Happy Tuesday!

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December 28, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Hello Monday!

One of our last kindness advent activities was encouraging sticky notes left in a public bathroom.  Harper went the extra mile this year by also sticky noting the toilet paper dispensers and the back of the stall doors.  Girl goes all out 🙂

We ended this year’s kindness advent with flowers.  Amon, Solomon and I eat a ton of pickles.  I made this pact with myself once I realized how many jars of pickles we were tearing through that I would fill every empty jar with flowers and give them away.  Josh Kelley said something had to give when I had stock piled 7 jars, but I had a plan.

We bought several different bunches of flowers and then assembled them into all the jars.  Christmas Day we gave all the jars away to neighbors, friends and family.  And our kindness advent ended on a colorful note.

The weather has been insane in Tennessee.  Super warm, shorts and tees and tornados.  Crazy town for Christmas weather.  And the weather has taken a serious tole on the allergic/asthma kid variety…which is Hudson Kelley.  Pour kid has been hitting his peace pipe like crazy.  He goes into his “ahhhhh, I can finally breath zone” when he does his treatments.  Cracks us up.

We’re game people around our house.  We like games and our kids like games and they totally love to learn new games.  This Christmas we’ve played old and new favorites.  Harper and Sol are playing speed and slap jack everyday now which is fun…except when one of them schools me.  I’m their mother…I’m suppose to beat them every time.

In Josh’s family we all draw names so everyone gets one present.  Josh asked for the Pie Face game and a new pocket knife.  This game really is as fun as it looks.  We played and all just howled with laughter.  Amon was the best because he went nutso crazy with excitement every time he got pied and then broke down into tears when he didn’t.  He also wanted high-5s every time he got pied.  So much fun!!!

I have the absolute funniest video ever of littlest getting pied.  It is hilarious and I so wish I could share it.  Just imagine the cutest little one with whip cream all over one eye with the grandest smile in all the land.  It’s the best.  She also has started feeding herself with a spoon, so I’ll sub in this picture of her finishing off whatever is in her bowl.

Holidays always put me out of sorts a bit.  Things are all over the place and mixed up and busy and we fall out of our routine.  I struggle with what things should really look like…how should our Christmas really go down each year.  Every year I find my heart in turmoil, but always land on we just have to do our best…we just have to try and love like Jesus did.  This Christmas proved to be very different than last year’s and quite emotional.  I’m so glad it was different though…different is good.  Different proved to be crazy beautiful.  So thankful I get to do this messy wild life with Josh Kelley.  His heart you guys, ahhhhh, crazy good and humble.

I’m super excited for the New Year.  I am already praying over 2016 and all it may hold.  I am asking God for big things…for more grace and love and redemption and restoration.  I cannot wait to see what He has in store.

Happy Monday!

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December 22, 2015 By 4 Comments

Catching Up

Hi!  I’ve been missing you guys, but life is just crazy-to-the-town lately.  We’re trying to be flexible and roll with it, but man, sometimes it’s just hard.  I don’t even know where I left off here on our kindness advent.  I really like to give you guys ideas to use or change or adjust for your own families.  We were suppose to paint rocks and leave them at the park/sidewalks one day.  The kids love this one.  Instead of rocks, this year I asked my FIL to cut some slices of wood for the kids to paint.  I might never go back to rocks again.  So crazy cute.

The kids wrote Christmasy notes one day, taped gift cards to the back and then left them in shopping carts.  I loved this one because they did it all and when it was time to drop them in carts I seriously just drove around the parking lot, opened the van door and children would hop in and out doing their drop offs.

We took Josh’s dad…aka Big Daddy…out to the movies.  Big Daddy is always treating everyone else so we treated him.  And let me just say how flippin’ fantastic the new Star Wars is!!!!  You guys, if you have not seen it yet, oh my.  It’s crazy crazy good.  Everyone loved it…big and small.  We then proceeded to talk about the movie for hours after it was over.  Ahhhhhh, we all want to see it again.

Tonight we’re doing our surprise yard inflatable.  Josh Kelley had a stroke of genius last year when he added this to our list.  It has become a fast favorite.  Last year they chose a 7ft tall polar bear, but this year then went smaller.  Santa Yoda…yes, please.  They are super pumped.

Tomorrow we are buying someone’s lunch.

We’ve been taking the kids on solo dates to do their shopping for their siblings.  Last year Harper was the only one who chose me.  Wah wah.  This year Hudson is the only one who chose me.  Clearly Josh Kelley is a fan favorite.  Hudson is also the only kid who picked breakfast and a Krispy Kreme breakfast at that.  Not a bad deal on my part.  Oh man I like that kid.

 Our shopping is all done.  Kids are wrapping presents and we still have a few to wrap as well.  I also have 2 things left to make…I do this every year.  Procrastination is my game.  I can’t believe Christmas is almost here.  Hope you’re ready.

See you tomorrow.

Happy Tuesday.

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December 17, 2015 By 7 Comments

A Mess

Our kindness advent it still moving along.  Tuesday we left a note and treat for our trash man.  We’ve done this every year and this year the big kids decided to skip the whole angst of whether or not he would see it or dump it and just run it out to him themselves. And then it was time for school and he still had not come by.  So I waited with the two littles.  Amon started screaming and cheering when he picked up the treat.  Success.

Yesterday we left a note and treat for our mailman.  We’ve got some amazing people in our lives who are just doing their job well and kind and with joy.  A kid’s thank you note, cookies and a Cracker Barrel gift card can simply say “Thank you”.

Today we took treats and goodies to our pediatrician’s office.  This one always makes me a tad emotional and lately I’ve been a lost cause anyways.  Our doctors and nurses and administration always take such great care of all our kids, but I always think about Amon and his special heart.  Geez.  Being kind and nice can have such an impact on someone’s life.  Choosing to be compassionate and empathetic can change the world.  This special office has done all of that.  Our pediatrician knew Mom and still talks about her.  “I was thinking about your mom just this morning.  She always did ______”  Do you know what that does for one’s heart?!?!  Amazing things.  We are crazy blessed with accessible health care and good, kind and caring professionals who look after us.

Here’s what I ended up making…Smores Bark, Caramel Pretzel Magic Bars, (Josh Kelley was not a fan, but I was) Crockpot Candy, Christmas Candy Bark, Saltine Cracker Toffee (this is basically like crack…WOW!!!) and Andes Mint Cookies.  You can see all the recipes collectively HERE.

Tomorrow we are leaving notes with gift cards in shopping carts.

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The past 7 days has been wild for us.  We’re sitting with a lot of big emotions and feelings lately and sometimes you have to simply hold on.  We’re adjusting back into a family of 7.  Things are just hard and complicated sometimes.  I have a thousand thoughts and feelings I have sat down multiple times to type and then I just close my computer because I couldn’t quite make sense of everything.  And I still can’t.  I thought “How do I connect 5000 thoughts that somehow make it into my head and heart and mull around all together?”  I still don’t know so I’m just going to keep typing.

*I’ve decided I’m a mess.  And our family is a mess.  And if I had to guess you might be a mess too…maybe.  I think about the disaster I turn into everyday.  Sin after sin after sin.  I get so pissed off about things I really should be giving compassion and mercy and grace to.  I put my sins on repeat and continue to fall on my face.  I let my pride win and I think I have it all figured out.  I think my way is the best way and don’t even think about offering me a different route.  I think I know better than Jesus most days.  Josh Kelley gets my worst.  My kids get my worst.  I find myself holding tight to grace when it should fall freely from my hands because I am #1 in line who needs it desperately.  You guys I’ve got nothing figured out and every night I think, “Okay God.  Let’s give this another go tomorrow.”

*God has been teaching me about how valuable and important people’s stories are.  For over a year now I’ve been trying to lean into people’s stories.  I can be so quick to judge, but when I shove my know-it-all-self aside and choose to listen and be curious and invest, sometimes people share and it’s one of the greatest honors ever.  I then begin to understand others and their lives and how they arrived to the place where they are.  I begin to see how impactful our stories are on others and who we are now and who we are becoming.  Our stories shape and mold us into who we are…they are valuable and deserve a listening ear and an empathetic heart.  It’s easy to make judgments from the outside…from the surface of what I think I know, but when I get to digging and people share, I get a glimpse into the truth of people’s hearts and lives.  I keep thinking about how I want my own heart and story to be handled by others, so in turn, how will I respond and handle the stories of others who share with me.  I can’t help but feel this is such a crucial decision…I want to be so careful.

*I sat with a friend for hours yesterday talking about really hard things.  This life is just damn hard.  Sometimes I think “Why God?  Why all that?  Why did you think they we’re strong enough to handle that mess?”  I don’t give Him the credit He deserves and I certainly question His judgement.  I forget we can do crazy hard things because He lives in us.  I’m right we aren’t strong enough, but Christ is.  He can do immeasurably more than we ever imagined.  He brings beauty from the ashes.  He takes our broken selves and makes something incredible.  He does what only He can do.  This world makes zero sense sometimes.  None.  Hebrews has been spot on for me lately.  Just word after word after word….each time just stabbing my heart.  It’s good you guys.

Hebrews 8:9 “…when I took them by the hand to bring them out of Egypt.”

This verse captured me immediately.  It spoke to the mess I am and the mess everyone else is too.  The Creator of the world…God Himself…will take us by the hand and lead us out of our mess.  It makes me weepy and thankful and humbled.  He comes into our mess, into our brokenness, into our sadness, into our pride, into our judgment, into our hate, into our bitterness, into our sin, into our shortcomings…into anything we can offer up…He is not scared or too good or afraid of exactly as we are.  I am crazy thankful I don’t have to fix myself or clean myself up for Him because I would be in a constant whirlpool…I would never get there and so, instead He comes right down into my mess with me and grabs me by the hand.  Geez.  What a good good God He is.

*I am for sure an emotional mess lately.  I want to claim it’s the holidays, but let’s be real, it’s pretty much all the time.  I have bounced between rock hard and soft mush my entire life and currently I am in a perpetual soft mush emotional state.  I recently cleaned out my office and had a giant pile of stuff I wanted to get rid of.  I let friends and family pilfer through it and then donated what was left.  My friend Ashley stopped by one day…she’s a teacher and a lover of junk…so I told her to come look though my pile.  She took a few things…one being a gallon ziplock bag of wooden thread spools I had covered in different fabrics.  I’m not one to hold onto to things.  I like to think of myself as a minimalist, but for over three years I had held onto those wooden spools because I had sat by Amon’s hospital bed and tried to busy my hands by covering each spool in brightly covered fabric as machines beeped around me and fear and grief had taken a tight grip on my heart over Amon’s heart and the loss of mom.  I was in the bank drive-thru today when she sent me this picture.

She took those wooden spools and made this beautiful wreath for her friend who is a high school sewing teacher.  It made me cry like a giant baby…it made her friend cry too.  I could not get over how amazing it was and how amazing Ashley is.  The simple yet astounding thoughtfulness and love she had put into this wreath made my heart swell.  It’s a testimate to Ashely’s heart and her kindness.  She’s one of the good ones.  And I know so many kind people just like her.  It blew me away.  I ask God all the time to show me His goodness and I found it today in Ashely’s simple love and kindness for her friend.

So that’s the state of my mind and heart currently.  It’s all over the place.  A mess like I said.  And it’s okay to be a mess.  Jesus makes it okay.  What a God we serve who takes us just as we are, meets us in our mess and then uses us despite ourselves.  I might not understand it all and I might question the fire out of God, but how comforting it is to know He not only is okay with me coming to Him just as I am, but that He is there and loves me so fiercely.

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December 14, 2015 By 10 Comments

2 Christmas Favorites

Last Friday we had the craziest day.  Amon and I ended up at the courthouse at 10am and didn’t get home until almost 5.  The craziest, wildest, emotional kind of day.  That alone knocked out our kindness advent for the day which was shopping for a family for Christmas.  Life happens and you just have to roll along with it.

   Saturday we recouped.  The kids were having friends spend the night so everyone got in on the kindness.  We love Redbox and love to share Redbox movies with others.  You can buy Redbox gift cards or just rental codes on their website which is super fun.  In the past we have done a Redbox bucket/bag with treats and a gift card, but this year we bought several codes, printed them off and then drove around to all our local Redboxes.  Each kiddo got to either tape a code to an empty machine or hand a code to someone waiting in line.  They loved it.  This is the only picture I snagged and Hudson Kelley absolutely perplexes my mind.  I have no clue what he is doing.  Zero, but he is wearing a Santa hat.

Yesterday we handed out Christmas books to kiddos shopping in a store and we also got in our shopping for a family we missed on Friday.  One Target, two birds.  #cornball  The kids are definitely bolder and braver this year with their words.  In the past I have had to do a lot of explaining on their behalf, but this year they are using their words to explain what they are doing and why.  I love it!  We do still have to step in sometimes or yell a Merry Christmas so people aren’t crazy creeped by us, but definitely less than any other year.

Tip for book purchasing:  I’m a huge Scholastic book fan.  They typically have amazing prices and they do so much for teachers.  They also have huge warehouse sales where all books are 50-80% off.  You can check out their website and see if one is near you.  I almost always go to their warehouse sale to snag our Christmas books we give out, but the past two years I’ve ordered from our classroom teachers.  Their teachers get points and free books when kiddos order so I didn’t mind the extra dollars when I know our teachers are benefitting.  The kids still got to choose the books, I did not have to leave our house and all the books came home in Solomon’s backpack 🙂  All I do is win, win, win no matter what! #namethatsong

For our kindness today we are handing out candy canes.  In the past when this has been picked we go to our community center and hand them out there.  This year all the kids decided they wanted to take them to school for their classmates.  I have to say I love how into this they are.  They are taking ownership of their kindness and thinking about it so who am I to argue when they throw a new idea out there.  Plus they adore their classmates and I’m so glad they want to love on them too.

Tomorrow we are leaving a treat for our trash guy.  This is always our most suspenseful one…everyone waits on pins and needles…will it go in the trash or will he see it!?!?!?  For the record, we have done this one every year so we are currently 4 for 4 on him seeing the treat and not dumping it.

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In other news I wanted to share two Christmas favorites today:  One being my favorite gift we’re giving and two a favorite gift wrap.

We are Santa believers…not that he’s watching us and sees us when we’re sleeping because that kind of creeps me out, but we love the magic and whimsy and fun of Santa so our kids are still believers at this point.  They also are fully aware lots of kids and families do not do Santa.  We’re really big on “different strokes for different folks” around our house…no family is just like us and that is a-okay.  So they know some kids get presents from their parents/guardians/whoever.

Our family does 3 gifts and some treats in their stockings.  They make their little lists…Sol put his in the mailbox, Hudson put his in his stocking and Harper just kept hers this year.  Picking gifts for them is crazy fun.  We try and keep things super reasonable because A)  There are 4 of them and that can get quite expensive and B)  They just don’t need anything.

I am super excited about one of Harper’s gifts this year…a full on personal mail kit.  This kid writes letters and sends mail like there’s no tomorrow.  I cannot say enough how much I adore this about her and this gift is a bit of a splurge and I am totally cool with it.  Here’s what I ended up with: personalized stationary, address stamp, mini pens, stamps, mini stapler and 2 rolls of washi tape all in a cute box.

Here’s where I got everything.

Folk Florals personalized stationary by Minted (sign up for their email and get a coupon to use)

Self inking address stamp from Amazon seller RubberStampCreation (no ink pad required)

Ink Joy Minis by PaperMate (found these at Walgreens $2.99)

Stamps from our post office 🙂

Mini Swingline Stapler (found at Kroger of all places…on sale for $1.99 but also saw at Target)

Two rolls of washi tape from Joanns.  $3.99 each, but use those coupons party people.  I refuse to pay full price for anything at a craft store with all the coupons available.  And Joanns will accept Hobby Lobby and Michaels coupons.

And a cute little box to hold it all from Hobby Lobby…again, use those coupons!

Harper is going to crazy love this.  She’s almost nine now and her gifts are starting to sway towards older kid which makes me miss her little days, but crazy love her current days.  I mean, you guys, she asked for a cd player…like a boom box.  God love her.  And thank you HHGregg for still carrying “boom boxes” hahahahaha.

And here’s my current favorite Christmas wrapping idea…paper stockings.  So easy.  So cute.  So festive.  I love to use these for teacher gifts and gift cards, etc.

I usually use all brown craft paper, but this year I made one side craft paper and the other side wrapping paper.  I drew out a stocking design big enough to hold our goodies, traced, cut, sewed the two pieces together, decorated and sewed them shut.  Harper and I did these together while the boys were mountain biking Sunday afternoon.

Hope your Monday is off to a great start.  Here’s to another grand week.

Happy Monday.

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December 10, 2015 By 1 Comment

Seven Things

1.  I’ve had some unplanned solo time with Hudson lately.  This is very rare.  We did things like play mancala, look at legos on the interwebs, watch the lego movie…he’s kind of lego crazy.  I told him the other day while at his 7 year check up that I was going to ask the doctor if I should be concerned about his love of legos.  He is the child who was born with a furrowed brow…his brain thinks through everything and leans toward worry.  He looked at me with his furrowed brow and said, “Are you really worried about me?  I do think about Legos a lot.  Is that normal?”  Sweet thing.

2.  I bailed on Christmas cards this year.  We like to keep this season relatively not crazy busy and Christmas cards are always daunting to me…so this year I nixed them.  And the world is still spinning.  Shocker right?!?!  But for your viewing pleasure here is the picture I thought would be wildly funny to send to people.

Merry Awkward Christmas!  You have my full permission to use this for your screen saver.  #yourewelcome

3.  Sasquatch Design Company is still selling new tees for the Ngungwane Garden Fund.  Crazy soft.  Crazy cool.  And crazy good community you will be linking arms with.  It’s such a good purchase with a purpose this Christmas.  Check them out HERE.

4.  Josh Kelley and I had a rare few hours solo the other night.  We went to the gym and then ate BBQ nachos.  Speaking of BBQ nachos, I have officially found THE.BEST.BBQ.NACHOS.EVER!!!!  Edleys wins the top BBQ nachos award.  I can’t even talk about it…makes me weepy.  Eat them and then email me with all the love that has built up in your heart because of their sheer goodness…then buy me a plate of them to say “thank you”.

5.  Amon has become a bed hopper.  In the morning when he gets up he moves from bed to bed to bed.  He likes some snuggles in the morning.  The other morning I heard him climbing up into Harper’s top bunk and heard her say, “Hey there my big boy.”  Geez.  They are ridiculous together.

6.  Our kindness advent yesterday was taking cookies to our police and fire station.  Today we are taking a treat to the salvation army bell ringer at our local grocery store.  And tomorrow we are buying Christmas for a family.

7.  And I still have plenty of things for sale if you need a last minute Christmas gift.  I’m shipping out asap so things have plenty of time to arrive before Christmas.  Check out available items HERE.

Happy Thursday!

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December 9, 2015 By 11 Comments

On Not Saying Goodbye

Our kindness advent led us to the library yesterday.  The kids made bookmarks and then left them in books on the library shelves in the kids area.  We added this activity last year and the kids were quick to add this one again this year when they were narrowing down our kindness for this December.  In the past I’ve been ahead of the game a bit…getting them to prepare the day before, but this year we’re kind of doing most everything the same day.  This has actually made things better in my opinion…somewhat slower and easier.  So yesterday after school they crafted all their bookmarks…paper, stickers, markers, pompoms, hole punch and ribbons…and then we headed to the library after dinner.  The pompoms were in heavy rotation and there was one hot glue gun casualty, but we all survived.

Today we are taking cookies to the fire and police department down our street.  This is when all those boxes of Otis Spunkmeyer cookies we purchased to support our school come in handy.

And tomorrow we are taking a special treat to a Salvation Army bell ringer.

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It’s been almost 3 weeks since we took our foster daughter home.  Over the past weeks our family has done a lot of talking about our role as a foster family.  I’ve done a lot of thought processing and thinking about all those big feelings.  Lots of friends and family have asked how we’re doing and the truth is we’re doing good.  We’ve gotten to see her and her parents several times.  Babysitting and snuggles in church.  There’s even a sleepover planned for this week which we’re all super excited about.

When I received the official word she would be going home I immediately broke down into tears and proceeded to cry on and off the entire day.  This completely surprised me because I felt like we had gone to great lengths to continually remind ourselves and our kiddos of what the goal at hand was and that was reunification.  I had lots of feelings that popped up like “Well now what about us?  What are we to do now?”  I kind of felt like someone owed us a shoulder to cry on or something.  I was thinking about myself and how I felt instead of them and how they felt.  I realized how selfish I was being…real honest feelings for sure, but selfish ones.  From the beginning…before she was even placed in our home…our entire family had been praying for reunification.  I cannot even count the number of prayers I heard come from our children’s mouths asking God to allow her to go home.  And in my moments of “what about me” I was missing the miracle.

Over the 10 months we formed a relationship and deep love for her parents and we all so wanted them to succeed…to flourish…to make it.  We were their #1 cheerleaders because everyone deserves to have someone cheering them on and telling them they can absolutely do it!  I told our kids what an honor and privilege we have getting to see God answer a prayer in the manner in which we had been petitioning Him for over a year.  We were seeing Him bring about restoration and redemption in only a way He could and we got front row seats.

We moved from feelings of “what about us and our feelings” to a manner of “wow, look what God has done.”  And it was quite amazing to move between those two big emotions.  We miss her for sure and we still pray for her and her family everyday.  We still talk about her daily.  We didn’t want it to be a “goodbye, so long and good luck” moment, but a “you can do this, we’re not going anywhere and we’re here for you” moment.

When we all loaded up in the car…all 7 of us…to take her home that night, Josh Kelley and I had already prepped everyone for a quick drop off.  A non-intrusive drop off.  I tend to be the person who would want to go in and unpack all her things and have “my moment” with her, but Josh had reminded me we needed to respect their space and their moment with her.  They had worked so hard and she was theirs.  And he was right.

Being a foster parent has taught me a great deal of putting myself in the other person’s shoes…it’s constantly on the brain when you are caring for someone else’s child and you know they are missing the moments you are having with their kiddo.  I know we have so much to learn still, but we’ve definitely learned how important it is to be respectful of the other party involved.  They are real people with real hurts and struggles and hurdles to overcome just like us.  They are no different than us at all and we are all in this together.

So now we wait.  We are back on the list and already praying for the next sweet kid and their family who we’ll get the privilege of meeting and loving on like crazy.

Happy Wednesday.

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