This is the 1st Monday in 2016 I have had solo. Snow days and holidays and sick kids have ruled all my Mondays so far, but today the sun is shining, spring is totally in the air and my mind is in a full on whirl of thoughts and feelings.
Yesterday we partied. And we partied hard. Our current littlest turned 2 last week. We’re not a party for every birthday family, but our littlest’s momma asked if I had been thinking about her birthday and so the ball started rolling in the party direction.
Her actual birthday felt weighty. I felt a deep sadness that we were the ones greeting her on her official birthday morning. I felt sad we were the ones celebrating early that morning with donuts and candles and singing. I felt sad videoing the whole thing and then texting it to her mom. I felt like we were robbing everyone. I thought Josh Kelley and I might tight embrace and sob together once the singing silenced and mouths we’re full of delicious donuts. And yet I know we are robbing no one. I know we are just treating her how we would want our children to be treated if the roles were reversed.
Foster care is hard. We are not foster-to-adopt. The state of Tennessee was loud and clear when we went to our first meeting that if we were in this aiming to adopt we needed to leave and find an alternate route. Reunification is the goal whenever possible. Adoption is beautiful and has added sons to our family and God has used it to stitch our family together just right, but our hearts are now heavy for birthparents and how we can help keep families together…how can we stand in the gap during hard times and foster care is the direction we headed.
Yesterday our family and our littlest’s family gathered together at our house and celebrated her sweet 2 years on this planet. They have not been your typical, ideal 2 years, but I absolutely, without a doubt believe God has been in every last detail of her story. She is His child, just like the rest of us. It felt like my senses were heightened yesterday. I felt like God allowed me to see and experience so many sweet moments He orchestrated. I believe Jesus was the main guest at our party.
It wasn’t fancy or extra special. There were minimal decorations and no party favors. There was Dominos pizza and salad. Grapes and carrots. Mini sprites and pink lemonade. Cookies, cookies and more cookies. And then there were two sets of families who a year ago had no clue who the others were. Here’s where my heart and mind just want to puddle right up. I am INSANELY proud of these people. Not just our extended family, but littlest’s family too. Everyone involved…coming from both sides…could have chosen fear of the unknown and could have chosen to keep to themselves. Everyone could have done the bare minimum and have still gotten by just like that. No one had to reach beyond themselves or widen their circle. But that’s NOT what everyone did.
I beam with pride on behalf of Josh’s parents and our brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews. This family who congregated at our house yesterday and hugged necks and gushed over our littlest and brought presents and kind words and who ate and sang happy birthday and made conversation and who are cheering her momma and daddy on and who are praying over them and praying for reunification. It’s just love. Love, love and more love.
I beam with pride on behalf of her Mom and Dad and their families. This is no easy road. This is no road someone wishes for or dreams up, but they are taking it in stride and doing the best they can and they LOVE their daughter. They didn’t have to widen their circle. They didn’t have to let us in. They didn’t have to link arms with us. They didn’t have to become family, but they chose to and I am incredibly thankful and honored they welcomed us in.
I watched as my sister-in-law Katy rushed in our house…solo parenting, a bit frazzled and running a little late for the party with all her kiddos. She could have just stayed at home. She could have sat this party out, but she didn’t. I answered texts about what size clothing our littlest is currently in and today she wore the cutest new dress to school from Josh’s sister. I watched Harper and my nieces playing with our littlest’s girl cousin who came to the party. They didn’t know each other, but they didn’t miss a beat and welcomed each other right in. Legos are universal 🙂 I listened as Josh’s dad had everything in their car ready to go home and said “I’m going to run back in and tell them bye.” referring to her mom and dad. I watched Josh’s mom hug both her momma and daddy so sweetly. I listened to what seemed like the loudest Happy Birthday song I’ve ever heard…a choir of voices looking on while her momma and daddy held her tight and smiled the biggest smiles and blew out those two candles….everyone snapping pictures like crazy paparazzi. I watched one of our nieces riding on the seesaw in our back yard with our littlest’s dad and I thought to myself “This is it. This is it.” I can back every ministry group and sign up for every Bible study offered and teach Bible journaling classes and go to church on Sunday and so on and so on, but if my every day life does not scream Jesus’ love to those around me then I am nothing. Living this every day life with a love of Jesus…with a passion to show His love to everyone we encounter is crucial.
Today I am just flat out grateful and honored for this journey and these people who are in this with us. It’s easy to feel so unworthy of this calling because man, we get to know some of the best people around…new and old…and witness some of the best things Jesus offers when we simply choose to love like He did.
Happy Monday.
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