A Year Ago

A year ago I had just gotten home from Craft Weekend with my cousin Rebecca.  You can read about our trip HERE and HERE.  I had spent the weekend in the best place for my heart at that very moment.  I was in such a different place than I am now.  I was in the thick of grief, losing Mom just 5 months before and my heart was about to burst in the wait for our third son.  We had been waiting almost 18 months to see his face.  At Craft Weekend all the ladies chatted and got to know one another as well as you can in a weekend and I made sure to share the anticipation and wait I was having to finally see my boy.

I still remember the emotion wrapped in taking a picture with a group of ladies I had only shortly known with our Waiting for You sign…the tears shed and the sincerity that these woman showed on behalf of me, our family’s wait and our child we just so longed for.  It is etched on my heart.  And the hugs of these woman…my Mom’s hugs are the #1 thing…tied with her voice & her words…that I miss about her.  And as these ladies embraced me with hugs I just let the tears go because I needed those hugs.

I came home exhausted, but so thrilled and blessed to have had the opportunity to attend Craft Weekend…the privilege to meet all these ladies and to spend good time with Rebecca.  It was an amazing blessing.

It was back to normal life and things picked up right where I had left.  Huddy had been sick so he didn’t go to MDO that Tuesday and we had a late doctor’s appointment to get him all checked out.  Josh’s parent’s picked Harper up from MDO and I sat at the doctor’s office for forever. Then my phone rang.  I saw the number on my phone and noticed it was long distance and didn’t answer.  The doctor seeing Huddy that day, who was not our normal doctor, was about to be in and we had waited so long.  I didn’t want to appear rude to anyone…the doctor or who ever was on the other end of that phone call.  Then instantly it hit me…I knew that was our agency’s number.  I sat for a moment and took a deep breath.  The phone had quit ringing and I knew this was about to be a grand moment in our Kelley family history.  This was the moment our family of 5 had been waiting and praying for for so long.

  Oddly enough instead of immediately calling back I did two things very quickly.

1)  Took a picture of my phone because I did not want to forget this very moment.  And I knew when I called the number back my heart would be filled with hope again.

2)  Snapped one last picture of our Waiting for You sign before we finally knew and saw the face of who we were actually waiting for this whole almost 18 months.

Then I called back.  And I heard those words my heart knew I was going to hear, “Well, I have some information for you about a little boy.”  I immediately began to bawl like a big baby, but told our director we were seeing the doctor any minute now and I would have to call her back.  And I said, “Can you just give me a little bit of information before the doctor comes in?”  And she did.  A 6-week-old baby boy.  Teklehaymanot was his sweet, long, Ethiopian name…Tekle for short.  We still call him Tekle sometimes.

I called Josh.  Gave him the 1 minute shocker of a phone call and hung up so we could see the doctor.  We finished up and off I drove, like a bat out of hell to Josh’s parents where he was meeting me.  We closed ourselves off in their playroom with cell phones to conference call with our director to finally hear all about our son.  And our hearts flurried with joy and our hearts grieved.  Adoption is amazing, but adoption contains both loss and gain.  As adoptive parents, Josh and I grieve for what was suppose to be in a sinless, perfect, povertyless world for Sol and Amon.  We grieve for their loss and for their birth families loss.  If you ask me details of their life before joining our family…their time in Ethiopia…please don’t be offended when I don’t tell you.  It’s just how we have chosen to handle our kiddos’ stories…not right or wrong…but just our choice.

Then Josh and I opened our email.  I wish I could accurately put into words this moment.  We were finally seeing this face we had absolutely longed and ached to see.  And there he was.  And he was beautiful.

I cried and cried and cried.  For days.  Emotional wreck.  I specifically remember texting a picture of Amon to friends.  My friend Susan responded with, “Now that was worth the wait.”  We were instantly his.  He had our hearts…all 5 of our hearts…from the very beginning.  He was the newest Kelley.  And what hope God brought not only to our family, but to our hearts as well, through this baby boy.  We hadn’t had the easiest last 6 months and we had suffered a great loss and we were all injured and wearing our scars clearly.  But God used Amon and his perfectly God made heart to bring hope and joy to ours.  God used Amon to help us heal…specifically me…and Harper.  To bring smiles to our faces.  To bring this crazy amazing hope in Jesus Christ and all His plans for us.

And then it was time for a new picture.  One of my favorites.

I wish there was something beyond being grateful and thankful and humbled and honored and just amazed…because I would most definitely be it for the chance at being Amon’s mom.  I am so grateful to God.  What an outstanding blessing…a truly outstanding blessing.  Amon, our ace of hearts, we adore and love you like crazy!

Happy Wednesday.