Saturday we participated in the American Heart Association’s Nashville Heart Walk.  I was surprised at how emotional I was.  I knew it was a big day…a day we had pushed to raise funds for…a day in which you guys helped raise funds for research…a day which held such deep importance to our family and Amon…a day which held a memory that will forever be in my mind and heart.

Last year I literally watched out Amon’s hospital room window as people walked to and from the heart walk.  I remember how badly I wanted to be out of the hospital…how badly I wanted Amon to be okay and ready to go home…how badly, so so badly I just wanted my mom.  And there we were, one year later, together as a family of 6 walking, participating and remembering together that Amon is a survivor.

I found myself tearing up at every corner.  Harper writing on the tribute wall…a big heart with Amon’s name in the middle.

Checking Amon into the survivor tent and realizing for the first time…he’s a survivor.  Watching the kids play in all the bounce houses and watching Amon eat banana after banana after banana.

Searching with Harper for the poster tent just so she could make an Ace of Hearts poster.

Watching Harper, Huddy and Sol fill out their tribute tags.

Mr. Kelley…Josh’s dad…Amon’s Big Daddy…Amon’s most favorite person in the world other than Josh, being there to support us and Amon…to celebrate with us.

Walking with my brother Chris, my sister-in-law Kim and my niece and nephews.  Walking with others who have traveled a similar road, but with our own stories and outcomes.  Walking with people who understand.  Receiving a hug from Courtney…her knowing how important this day was to our family.  Receiving a tight hug from Rebecca…a mom whose little boy has had multiple heart surgeries…knowing she understands my heart and how important research is.

Having those conversations where I realized Harper understands what this is about…how Amon will have to have another surgery, but maybe, just maybe, because of the money which was so generously given, when Amon needs the surgery they won’t have to cut him open next time.  Harper doesn’t want him to have two scars.

My sunglasses hid my tears well.  I had a hard time saying certain words, spelling Amon’s name to Huddy and Sol, giving hugs, watching all the people around us…hearing their words, reading their shirts, everything.  When we finally got home and the walk was through we sat with Amon.  He was tired and deliriously cute.  We soaked him up.

It was a really emotional day..being on the other side of a year ago and my heart was reminded of how people and families can travel similar roads, but come out in very different places.  How the outcome was not always what was prayed for or long for or desired.  How Amon is still here with us and so many others are not.  My heart is overwhelmed for those families.  I have so many questions for God, but He reminded me yet again of how blessed we are…how what an honor it is to be Amon’s mom, to watch his life unfold and how humbled I am to be a small part of it.  I have no idea why we are so blessed with this child…no clue…but I am incredibly and deeply thankful.

Thank you!  Thank you for giving to help further heart research.  Thank you for being kind and thoughtful and generous and loving.  With the deepest sincerity, thank you for giving in honor of Amon.  We far exceeded our goal because of you.  Just thank you…truly, truly, truly…thank you.