Amon is officially one!  How can that be?  Where did the time go?  I still remember that day last May when Josh and I sat on the floor in his parent’s bonus room and opened those incredibly longed for pictures and stared at this adorably small, dark headed, big eyed 6 week old baby boy.  There he finally was.

I’ll be honest in saying I’ve always struggled a bit with Sol’s birthday…and now Amon’s.  Today was a very hard, celebrated, tear filled day.  With adoption there is so much joy and beauty and love, but also sadness and grief and questions.  I ache for my kids in many different ways and I grieve for Solomon and Amon and all the questions and possible sadness that they will face…especially on their birthdays.  I so wish I had all the answers.  I so wish I knew exactly what to say.  But I don’t and Josh doesn’t either and this is the part of adoption that is really hard.

But, I am thankful for the amazing, incredible parts of adoption…the ones that fill my heart to the tip top and make me absolutely weep with gratefulness to God.  These moments out weigh all the hard ones.  Today I cried so much…tears of sadness for Amon and tears of absolute thankfulness for this child.  He is just amazing.  He blows us totally away.  I wish I could accurately describe how honored and grateful and blessed and just in awe of God for allowing us to be his mom and dad we feel.  There are really no words to even begin to capture our gratefulness.

We choose specific verses for our kiddos before they come along.  I remember sitting in church scanning over 1 Thessalonians when I read Amon’s verse.  I knew the moment I read it it was suppose to be our next little boy’s verse even though we had no idea who he was yet.  And I held tight to that verse…hard.

“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the JOY we have in the presence of our God because of you?” 1 Thessalonians 3:9

Every time I think of Amon’s verse now, I am thrilled with God’s loveliness.  I adore how He moves and works and enjoys even the smallest of details like a scripture that absolutely nails our son…long before we knew his joyous personality.  Amon really is joy.  I opened a card from my Aunt Linda today to Amon for his birthday and absolutely sobbed.  She nailed it.  My Aunt Linda understands what this child means to our family.  What hope we have found in God through this crazy, beautiful boy and his beautiful heart.

So today was Amon’s day.  We ate muffins for breakfast and had doctor’s appointments, and shared cupcakes with medical staff who take mad care of our family and we enjoyed cake ourselves and we enjoyed each other and we loved on Amon hard.

And like everyday, he brought smiles into our family.  And he brought his typical joy.

Amon Kelley you have rocked our world in the best way ever.  God has used you my joyous baby boy and will continue to do so.  You have touched hearts with your perfect one.  I am honored to be your mom and CANNOT wait to see what God has in store for your little life.  I know it’s going to be grand.  I know you are going to change the world.  I love you madly!  Happy 1st Birthday to our Ace of Hearts!