I have single handedly ruined our day so far…and yes it’s only 11. That can only mean I’ve got plenty of time to let my bad attitude ruin the rest of the day.
I’m chicken pecking this post out on my phone because a giant jade lion of my moms fell off the little shelf on our desk and onto the top of our computer busting the screen. What quite possibly made the giant said lion fall was running wild children in a house we are out growing.
I over slept because of sheer exhaustion. Life is wild and busy right now. And our hearts are being pulled in so many emotional directions. I’m tired. My heart is tired. Instead of running into the arms of the One who can give me true rest I just get all kinds of pissed off. I’ve yelled at the kids multiple times already today. I don’t want to be asked another question…when is lunch, are we doing anything fun today, can we watch tv, can we play a game, can we have a snack….it makes me want to yell wild animal sounds into the air and cry. And I know it shouldn’t but I just press on letting Satan steal away my day. I’m holding onto this bad attitude because things just aren’t going like I thought they should. It’s my bratty, spoiled rotten right…right?
Therapy at 8am sharp in the rain. Another outing to look at a possible house option that didn’t pan out. Our house is disgusting and needs to be cleaned in the worst kind of way. I stepped in little boy pee flowing along the floor grout in our bathroom and about lost my #%*\. Everyone is hungry for lunch and we still have not been grocery shopping. Plans for the week have already been disrupted and changed just because of life’s happenings. The kids are frustrated with each other. There are fights breaking out and Amon is walking around with a giant poop diaper. And I won’t even tell you how long it’s been since our kids have had a bath. There’s always that dang bath issue.
Today was suppose to be different. Today was suppose to go wildly in another direction. And even still, knowing my own bad attitude is wreaking havoc on our day, I’m locked away writing this all out…not having changed a thing just yet.
I thought, I’ll do my devotional and God will hit me smack in the face with the scripture and words I need to hear, but He didn’t. It added to my pissed-offness. Doesn’t God know I need Him to do something like now for me?!?!? I’m such a brat. A spoiled brat. God knows I already know the right thing to do. He knows He’s already equipped me with everything I need to change the course of our day. He knows Im fully aware of what needs to change and everything is pointing right at me and my ugly selfish heart.
So I’m laying my ugly sinful heart out for you guys to see. Bearing all it’s flesh full ways. When I hit post I’m getting up and getting to work. Today was suppose to be different and I’ve been given plenty of time to make the changes that so desperately need to be made.
Today I’m fighting my sinful ways…battling my flesh. I know it won’t be easy, sometimes it’s so appealing to let anger and disappointment and pity rule my thoughts & actions, but grace and love are really where it’s at. And I’m so thankful for a Father who loves and forgives and hands out ample amounts of grace and chances. Here’s to changing my Monday!
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Thank you so much for your honesty! I am like this more often than I care to admit. Good to know I’m not the only one. 🙂 It’s still early. There’s plenty of time to turn this day around. Plaster a smile on your face and pretend to be having fun. It will turn real soon enough. That’s how it usually works for me…
I could have written this exact thing. This has been my heart, and unfortunately my attitude, lately. And I know the problem is me. And I know what to do. Just cannot seem to do it (most days)…it’s all Romans 7 up in here. Here’s to allowing grace to wash over us & starting afresh…no matter what time of day it is!
Thank you for sharing. I have ruined countless days (throughout the years) and have always been too ashamed to share with others. You are a blessing to so many! Hugs to you! May He uphold you with His righteous right hand and change your day!
Yes! All of it! What is going on this week?!? Thank you for sharing! It doesn’t help my attitude but at least I know I’m not alone. 😉
When I get in a funk like it sounds like you are in, I find that turning on music (especially my “feel good” songs helps me snap out of it. So in the spirit of hoping that might work for you too, I am going to share one of my new favs with you. It is a new song by a (what I think is a new group) called Finding Favour called “Say Amen”. Hope you find the strength to tell Satan that he has ZERO control of your and enjoy the rest of your day!!!!! Love you even when you are pissed off! Giggle!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRcvcF_0_9M
PS: I should have reread and spell checked before I hit send. Overlook the mistakes please!!!!
I just wrote a blogpost last week that could have gone hand in hand with this. Lately I have just had a poopy attitude more often than not. People probably get tired of hearing me complain like I did, but I honestly felt better after just getting it all out there. I hope you did too. Sorry you are having a crappy day 🙁
Thanks for posting this. Let’s me know I’m not the only one who feels and acts this way at times. The important part is that you recognize what’s happening and are doing what you can to change it. Go you! Praying for calm and for rest and for joy for you and your sweet sweet family.
Side note. Ever since my parents bought their last house I have told every single person I know that is house hunting to look at the house in the RAIN if possible. You see where the water pools, if drain pipes are in weird places (I.e. We had one that would dump the water on your head if you walked out the back door). We also had a huge…and I do mean huge, standing water pool between us and the cars each time it rained and used to have to sweep out the garage – It didn’t have a door- each time it rained to me sure it didn’t get so high it would come in under the door. All this was doable but had we known this, and we would if we had seen the house during it after a rain, we probably would have chose differently. Just a little silver lining to looking at houses in the rain. You will see muh more of what you’re getting that way. Sorry just had I add that in there.
Thanks for being you.
Oh sweet Laura, everyone has days, weeks months and maybe years like this, we are human with a sin nature. You know what is right and like you always do you will get it together. Even if you don’t feel it right now, repeat over and over until you do feel it “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it” Use God’s word as a weapon against satan and everyone wins. Love you sweet girl, you are amazing.
Thank you for your honesty. It makes so many others feel exponentially better!
Actually your post was a blessing to me First of all I have been focused on struggles of my own and you gave me a chance to step out of my funk and pray for someone else. I had pictures clicking in my mind of my life I once had in chaos of 3 little ones and tiny home and my insanity to be other place and a did person. I want my own personal time out. I still do at times. Maybe this is why we are called to uplift one another. Not give advice to add to it but to just ride the storm with someone. Open the front door and back and command the enemy to be gone from that place. He is stirring things. It may not seem like order will return but you will have taken a start. And my kids who look at me like I was nuts. They are adults today and frequently talk about mommy episodes
Praying in WI that your Monday got better. 🙂
Oh Laura! We’ve all been there! Praying your day turns around quickly. Hang in there!
Oh man. I just want to give ya a big ole hug. i get in funks too. and i think it just gets worse because i know i am that way and can’t get myself out of it. hopefully your day turned around. 🙂
Hang in there, Laura. Be kind to yourself. We all have days like this, and tomorrow will be better. Big hug.
ooh— i am (unfortunately) not a stranger to those types of days– with 6 under 11 it’s inevitable some times— i have single handedly ruined many a potential salvageable day b/c shoot- i just wanted to roll around in my mucky anger..but God’s mercy’s are new every day and thank God for that– b/c we need them every. single. day.
and amazingly? our kids are so forgiving and tend to remember just the good things 🙂 hang in there!!!!
Look at all these sweet comments! You are not alone! The difference between you and someone who is losing the battle is that you acknowledged your part and have given it to God. You’re doing great, sister!
I hope your Tuesday is much better than your Monday!!! Sending love!!
Thanks for posting the truth. It’s so hard for me to drag myself up out of the pit when my attitude has gone off the edge. Acknowledging our mistakes and pressing on is all we can do!
Girl. We ALL have those days. That’s why His grace is new every single morning… and every single minute! Here’s to a poop-less diaper, pee-free grout lines, and a bath… maybe just for momma after the kids are tucked in for the night… with a large glass of wine! 😉
We must be soul sisters. I had a very similar day yesterday.thankful for a new, better day today for us all!