Every now and then I take a day to confess some things publicly here on the inter webs that are typically things I should keep to myself.  I usually come to the realization that this truly is a sharing moment after I look in the mirror at my appearance or confess to a friend via text at just how humorous the whole situation is.  I’m normally a hot mess 97.6% of the time.  That’s pretty high.

I present to you my last confession of 2013:  Just this morning I finally changed out of the puke stained, beyond smelly tshirt I wore to dinner Sunday night and then had the worst case of food poisoning in ever.  Insert brief backstory:  I went to dinner with some friends Sunday night at a nice little restaurant.  Yes, I did in fact wear a tshirt to a nice restaurant because that is my standard attire.  To help my case just a bit the first tee I was wearing initially, did get puked on by a Kelley child who was having issues with taking Tylenol…for the love…right before I was suppose to leave.  Although I’m not sure if that tee was really that much nicer than the second tee. but I digress.  I wasn’t feeling great after dinner so I went to bed shortly after getting home.  At 11pm I woke up abruptly and proceeded to be violently sick until around 5am.  It was a long, long night.  I will spare you all the details, but there was lots of sweating and what’s that saying about “burning a candle at both ends”…is that even right…could that be applied to this situation?!?!  I think so.  I know it means you’re working really hard, but I think it could be applied to severe food poisoning as well…if you know what I mean…wink, wink, nod.  Violently sick.  The worst ever.  It was bad.  So bad that even though I didn’t get physically sick at all after 5am on Monday, it completely wiped me out for the day.  Josh had to take off work and I spent most of the day in bed.  This morning as I stood staring at my puke stained shirt and tangled hair with bits of dried vomit and sticky chocolate cake from dinner, I realized I had to confess to someone…AKA…you guys…I have zero shame.

As I was showering this morning I also realized, to your surprise, my kids have not been bathed in an ungodly, ungodly amount of time.  Typically I go with just a single ungodly, but apparently where some people take the holidays to fancy up their kids which includes bathing, I take it as an extended vacation on not bathing my kids.  Amon’s hair?  A hot flippin’ mess.  Now I did spray it down with a squirt bottle to give him his recent “holiday hair”…also known as his curly mullet, but other than that, yeah, it’s bad.  To combat my bad mothering hygiene, I would like to say they did each get a new bath puff in their stockings in hopes of kick-starting one of my 2014 resolutions:  Better bath hygiene for the Kelley kids.  Geez.  We’re kind of a wreck around here.

I’m still feeling weak and not up for eating much of anything which does have it’s perks.  I’ve already kickstarted my 2014 weight loss goal.  Boom.  What’s that saying about being “one good stomach bug away from your goal weight”?  Mine needs to be along the lines of “two good violently sick food poisonings away from my goal weight.”  Josh had to go back to work so I had to suck up my nauseous pity party and dig my heels into the day.  I feel like I already punched the day in the face since I changed my shirt and took a shower.  I almost feel like I should quit while I’m ahead, but I may shoot for “overachiever status” and do some other crazy things like bath my kids, rewash the washer full of already pre washed twice now clothes, fold the ginormous pile of laundry in our bedroom floor and put said already already washed clothes sitting in our washer into the drier after they are washed again for the third time.

I must admit, I feel better…not physically, but it’s just nice to confess every now and then.  Now I’m off to wrangle Amon who over the course of the last 48 hours has helped himself to far too many treats from our treat drawer without us knowing because he can now perch himself just right on the drawer of our stove, see into the treat drawer and help himself.  No joke…not even kidding…I just heard what could only be unmistakingly the sound of jelly beans being dropped all over our kitchen floor.  Also our kids have watched so much TV lately…we’re in survival mode…and Sol just told Huddy, “Huddy, I’m getting you the NoNo Pro for your birthday.”  The joys of fine parenting.  Peace out 2013.

Happy Tuesday.