Archives for February 2017

Today we take a morning flight to Guangzhou.  There we will spend our remaining time waiting on documents and getting to know Everett.  We’re excited to see another part of China and be a little bit closer to coming home.

Zhengzhou has our hearts forever and now holds the greatest memories for us in China…meeting Shuai for the first time, holding him close and starting our journey together again as a family.  My favorite moments from China have been here.

Top favorite moments:

Being out and about in his city.  Seeing special places and learning more about him.  Seeing his home and realizing how deeply loved he has been.

Trying to get him to try on his O2 mask.  He was not up for this and all the kids tried it on to show him how it was done.  Hudson’s face was cracking me up…not creepy or scary at all 🙂

Eating at a great place where my BIL asked my SILs parents if he could marry her.  We devoured the food and had the best dumplings we’ve had so far.  Plus Shuai had perked up after a sad morning.  We felt so bad for him all morning and finally we went in to eat and he brightened up.

First breakfast together.  Swoon.  He ate a little rice cereal, watermelon, cantaloupe, oranges and drank OJ.

Getting his passport photo taken.  I die.  He was the cutest little thing sitting up there all by himself.  He is just a dream!

We’ve had lots of appointments and had to go here and there for them all day yesterday.  He got really anxious and stressed out at every place, but at the police station he had his first little moment when he didn’t.  He was chill and smiling.  He’s got a long road ahead which makes me incredibly sad to think about so I am trying to notice even the tiniest of things which represent progress and trust.

 Finding out you must wear a swim cap to swim and the hotel lending us some.  And Solomon always getting the hot pink one.  The big kids have been awesome.  So thankful they were able to come with us.

Shuai totally comforts himself by ringing his hands together.  He loves all things lotion and hand sanitizer and running water.  He stands at the sink for the longest time just running his hands underneath and filling up leftover water bottles.  He’s also crazy attached to a sippy cup we brought.  He takes it everywhere and even slept with it last night.  We’ve filled it with water too many times to count already.

And the way he sleeps.  He just falls asleep in our bed. It is hands down the sweetest.

He had a rough night last night.  It was extremely sad and we know he’s starting to grieve, but the fact that he’s being more verbal about it instead of quiet like his first night makes me feel better.  He’s 3 and confused and is sad and doesn’t feel well and doesn’t understand us and we don’t understand him.  It’s just flat out hard and makes me want to cry rivers for him, but God is good.  I just keep covering his heart, mind and body in prayer and asking God to be His audacious, wondrous, miracle working, redemptive self.  What a gift we have been given and oh how were trying to handle him with care.

Warning…500 photos to follow 🙂

I woke at 1:30am with nerves.  My phone had sweet messages from family.  My eyes read over them and fell back asleep.  I woke again around 4 and again around 5:30.  I scrolled through my phone.  Josh was already up and gone.  My stomach swirled.  So so nervous.  The kids were all still sleeping…I wondered if our boy was still sleeping too or if he was already awake like his dad and I.  I started to get ready and noticed his little toothbrush.  Hudson woke up first.  He walked in all squinty eyed, grabbed a book and hopped up on our bed to read.  I read in Exodus 10…the ninth plague…darkness…you know, just some light hearted reading 🙂 Hudson and I talked about what his little brother might be doing that morning.

Josh came back from the hotel gym and Harper and Solomon woke up.  We all headed down to get some breakfast together.  Watermelon, waffles, bacon and eggs.  Everyone ate the beautiful dragon fruit and agreed we liked it better than we do kiwi…and we love kiwi.  I stepped outside to get a shot of Zhengzhou waking up.  We went back up to straighten the room and get everything situated.  The kids put on a gynmastics show complete with sword swallowing and a human suspension bridge.  I love them.  Harper kept signing Christmas carols.  My nerves kept churning.  Harper and I sang a small Justin Beiber duo.  She facetimed her friend Zoe and we all facetimed with Amon and our littlest as they were getting ready for bed.

We double checked his bag…cookies, snacks, cars, playdoh, stickers and a sippy cup of water.  Then it was time to go.  9:30.  We walked down to the lobby to meet Wendy and exchange some money.  There were other families gathering in the lobby obviously going to meet their children too.  Everyone was carrying colorful gift bags mostly in reds and golds to give as thank yous to different officials and nannies.

We loaded in the van.  The weather was sunny and warm.  The adoption center was very close by and we were the first ones there.  The building was colorful, welcoming and friendly.  We were greeted with smiles from everyone.  We sat at a table nervously waiting and started going over paperwork and double checking spellings and information.  They said he was in the building.  I started to cry.  Wendy gave me a tissue and said comforting words.  She is the nicest.  We went over paperwork again.  Other families started to arrive and join us in the big colorful room.  Then they said he was coming and I started to cry again heart racing.

And then there he was.  He was walking in on his own through the first set of automatic doors with a nanny holding a baby.  He got through the first set of doors and then hesitated.  He wouldn’t come any further.  There was no crying, but head shakes back-and-forth no.  Wendy and several staff members went to him to try and coax him in.  He stood his ground.  Then we went out to him.  I couldn’t believe it.  There we were face-to-face with our son.  I had dreamed of this moment at least a 1,001 times.  We gave him space and one of his workers at his home picked him up.  Everyone was talking to him.  We gave him some cookies and Josh and I both tried to hold him and he shook his head no.  We tried again and he came to me.  He squirmed a bit and then settled down.  He was wearing 2 giant layers of clothing and holding a piece of chocolate wrapped in a shiny silver and purple wrapper.  Harper, Hudson and Solomon were smitten.

He sat with me for a while.  I noticed he would tap his foot.  I had to do something and Josh tried to take him and he went with ease.  There they sat together.  His little face still had not budged…he was taking it all in.

We spent the rest of the time filling out paperwork and soaking his somber little self up.  I wrote out his name Everett Louie Shuai…he was ours.  We played with cars and ate vanilla wafers.  He played with stickers and little animals.  His worker brought each item we mailed him in his care package.  His little book was well worn…they had been working hard to prepare him for us and it showed.  I cried again.  We all looked at his little book together.  He said the Chinese name for each person and then looked at that person and smiled.  We all sat amazed…just in awe of this little gem we get to call our son and brother.  Every time he said the name and then looked at the correct person we all lost it.

We filled out more paperwork.  Other families were meeting their children all around us.  Some kids were so quiet while others we’re crying so hard and loud.  It was such a beautiful and bittersweet moment.  I tried soaking in every piece of it…what a gift we have been given.  Solomon got him to laugh for the first time while he road on a little push car.  It was the sweetest little laugh.  At one point we had to put our fingerprints on some paperwork in red ink and I got very emotional…the significance of putting my actual fingerprint onto paperwork promising I would love our son forever was not lost on me.  What an honor we have been given.

We needed his hand print next and he wasn’t having it.  Wendy talked and talked and talked to him.  Harper showed him how to do it on her own hand.  We offered cookies and snacks of all kinds.  We tried everything, but finally broke out some candy crush on Josh’s phone.  He clicked away and eventually let us stamp his little hand.

Once paperwork was all finished we walked out of the building with another sweet little boy to call our own.  He was so quiet.  He rode in Josh’s lap to our hotel.  Not many noises at all, but Hudson told him he loved him in Chinese and Everett said it back.  We all died.

At the hotel he checked out everything and was just super quiet.  He loved playing with a sword and Hudson and Solomon had him laughing at catapulting blocks into the air.  The big kids went to swim and we facetimed with Uncle Andy and Aunt Becky and he fell asleep.  We spent the afternoon looking at each other and taking his stats to send to his doctors.

Later in the afternoon we went to visit his home.  I kind of hate the word orphanage and it was his home.  It was absolutely beautiful.  I cried too many times to count.  He is such a loved little boy and was incredibly well taken care of by the staff and nannies and doctors and nurses.  Everyone told him bye and just made over him.  He did great.  I can’t say enough good things about Show Hope and the homes they run in Zhengzhou.  The doctor we spoke with was so kind and actually worked at Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville for a few years.  Such a small world.

After our visit we headed back to the hotel.  We got take out from a little local place, took a bath, put on fresh pajamas and then chilled out in front of Storks.  He had such a big hard day and he handled it incredibly well.

It was a day filled with emotions, but Shuai rocked it!  I however was a mess.  So many tears for his little mind and heart.  I prayed all throughout the day asking God to be everything he needs and to comfort him like no other.  This was the first day to our forever and I seriously feel like the luckiest mama on Earth.

Today was our last day in Beijing and it was awesome.  China seriously just gets better and better.  We have been so amazed and in awe of how beautiful and intricate and thoughtful and special this place is.  For our last day in Beijing we started the morning off in Tiananmen Square.  I don’t know why exactly, maybe the history that’s taken place there, but I was really looking forward to seeing the square and it did not disappoint.

One thing I found so impressive were the guards on duty who rotate every hour.  They stand so tall and still.  I also had no idea they did a flag ceremony every morning and every sunset…every single day.  That is wild.  Another thing we all loved was the painting of Chairman Mao who’s eyes followed you wherever you went.  Creepy!

Afterwards we went into the Forbidden City which was huge.  I feel like that is how to explain everything in China.  Massive.  Ginormous.  Large.  All applicable.  And the details were crazy.  We couldn’t believe after lots of walking we still were not actually in the Forbidden City…only through the gates leading to it.  To think this place was meant for one family…so crazy.  Cindy, our guide, said it would take 3 full days just to see 60% of The Forbidden City.  Wow.

Two things I personally thought were so interesting:

1. Female lion statues show a baby under one of the lion’s paws.  Male lion statues show a ball under one of the lion’s paws.  The rest of the day Harper was calling male and females like it was her job 🙂

2. There are zero plants of any kind…grass, trees, flowers, etc…at all in The Forbidden City until the very end when  you enter the garden.  Then it’s like whoa!!!!  Incredibly gorgeous and again we want to come back in the spring to see it in bloom.  And the tree below is over 500 years old.

Harper and Hudson took plenty of selfies.  Harper even got Ms. Cindy in on the action.

After we finished our family got on a van and the other two families headed for lunch.  Our train left first so off we went to the train station.  When we got loaded in the van it hit me, we’re going to Zhengzhou and our son is there.  I immediately got teary eyed and wanted to capture us all in the van together.

The train station was a bit chaotic.  Our guide could not go in with us so it was a little stressful manuavering around and figuring out where to go.  Plus we had to haul two suitcases down a giant stair case to our train.  When we got to our train gate and sat down moral was low.  I will be honest if there’s one thing our kiddos are struggling with its all the attention from other people they are getting.  Photos and stares and touching has started to really bother them so Josh and I are having to step in more and more and it actually pushed one of them into tears today.

Once we got settled onto the bullet train every one started to perk up.  We ate some treats and chewed gum.  The kids rotated time on our iPad.  Josh taught Harper how to play Sudoku.  And I journaled the whole train ride.  We we’re headed to our son and I wanted to remember what the ride was like…white buildings with red roofs, rows and rows of green farmland, tall skinny trees that resembled upside down brooms, dirt mounds, windy dirt roads, white greenhouses, city buildings, gray skies, power lines in heart shapes, large blue canopies, water canals, interstates, developments everywhere and a sinking sun by the time we finally arrived 3 hours later in Zhengzhou.

When we arrived in Zhengzhou our new guide Wendy was there to meet us.  She is super nice!  We went straight to our hotel, got settled and then Wendy, Harper and I went out to pick up some dinner.  We had our best dinner yet tonight…spicy tomato noodles, small pork dumplings and cooked broccoli.  Delish.  We went over some paperwork for tomorrow morning, I packed our little guy a bag with his blanket, cookies, cheerios, oyster crackers, a ball, a few small cars and plastic animals, stickers and a cup for water and we got together some gifts for to give officials and nannies.

And now I sit here exhausted, barely able to keep my eyes open and yet my stomach is just turning with nerves.  Tomorrow.  Tomorrow at 9:30 am we head out to meet our boy.  I just keep covering his little heart, mind and body in prayer.  Asking God for supernatural, unheard of things…to work miracles.  I am grieved over the loss he is about to endure and simultaneously elated I get to be his mama.  Praying tonight we would feel Jesus so close to each one of us tomorrow.  Praying God would simply be His mighty self and sustain, lift up and love us like He always does.  Tomorrow will be such a beautiful, bittersweet day.  Cannot wait to meet our son.

It’s in the 3am time in Beijing and I can’t sleep.  I keep waking thinking about our boy and my nerves grow more and more.  We meet him tomorrow and that’s it…he’ll be ours forever…his Gotcha Day.  We’ve been sight seeing like it’s our job, but all the while it’s just a cover…just a try-and-keep-our-minds-off-the-ginormosuness-of-whats-really-about-to-happen facade.  We have loved our time seeing and learning about China’s rich deep culture, but our hearts and heads are with a little guy in Zhengzhou and the thought of him is ruling those spaces.

I was too tired last night to try and document the day, so here I am because my nerves make me want to vomit so I’m typing away instead of puking 🙂  Yesterday was yet another awesome day.  We’ve been enjoying breakfast every morning in our hotel.  They have a huge spread…something for everyone.  Our kids are rocking the chopsticks.  Hudson and Harper use them all the time…Solomon is still working on mastering them.  Harper gives all the credit to her Uncle Andy and Aunt Becky because she uses chopsticks at their house all the time.  Made me smile when she shared that with us.

After breakfast we headed to The Great Wall.  On our way we stopped at a huge jade factory.  I found this incredibly interesting.  We got to watch men working on happy family balls and saw the step-by-step process.  The intricateness of each piece created is crazy and the skill is only passed down from generation to generation through family.  There are no schools that teach jade carvings and so one day the skill could disappear if other generations choose not to learn.  I could have bought 1,001 bracelets…I was really loving the yellow jade…so so pretty.  We ended up finding the perfect little jade snake for our house…our little guy was born in the year of the snake.

After the jade factory we loaded back up and started for The Great Wall.  On the bus my mind was on our son.  I wondered what he was doing today while we were out learning about his culture and history and buying a jade snake in honor of him.  Is today a day full of his regular ins and outs or are they preparing him for us?  Has he seen our faces like we’ve seen his?  Will he recognize us at all when we meet?  I just keep begging God to be everything He needs.  To comfort his little heart.  To give him peace that’s unexplainable and irreplaceable.  To allow him to some how, some way know he is safe and loved with us.  I keep asking God to tie up all the fear and be his comfort.  I keep asking God to heal his heart and body.  We meet him in one day…one day stands between us and our new son…my heart might explode.

Josh Kelley got my attention and pointed out The Great Wall in the distance.  Excitement started bubbling from everyone in the bus.  One of the other little girls we’re with yelled out, “This is the best vacation ever.”  Everyone laughed.  Oh the thrill and excitement…it was so sweet.  Currently my calves hurt and I thank The Great Wall for this.  We hiked pretty far and the kids did amazing.  Solomon led the way for us and I was right on his heels because at one point I looked back and got nauseous so I just tucked my head, never looked back again…until I had to come down…and pressed on.  Coming back down was a different story.  Harper held my hand.  Hahahahaha.  It wasn’t dramatic, but truth be told my stomach turned a bit and I got shaky legs.  We were really high on some crazy steps so yeah, I was a bit nervous, but it was breathtakingly beautiful.

Great Wall Fun Fact:  Did you know the wall actually started out as 7 different square walls ruled by 7 different rulers?  Then one very ambitious ruler ended up killing the other 6 and took the whole wall for himself and made it one long wall.  Totally did not know this!!!!  And it’s like the world’s largest graveyard as well.  A little morbid, but so many people died while making the wall and they couldn’t take bodies down so they just buried them in the wall or in the mountains around the wall.  Crazy town!

On our way up the wall we passed through a group of vibrant, fun Tibetan ladies.  We couldn’t communicate except through smiles and at one point Hudson was yelling back for Harper calling her name and all the Tibetan ladies started yelling, “Harper.  Harper.  Harper.”  It was really sweet and funny.

Solomon and Hudson have been a huge hit.  Everyone wants to take pictures with them.  They’re both a little over it at this point…makes them feels funny they said…especially Solomon.  During one picture with a big group of ladies Sol snuck out the back and before we knew it a lady physically picked him up and put him back in the picture…hahahahahaha.  It was hilarious and he was a good sport about it, but we finally nixed some pictures last night at dinner because we could tell it was really starting to bother him.  At the great wall though they both bought wooden katanas (swords) and put on a show using them to do their karate katas in unison.  Oh the pictures.

(This picture makes me laugh because of Harper over to the side like “Wah. Wah.  Whoa is me.”  She was not like that at all…she was glad she wasn’t center of attention, but this picture makes it look different and makes me laugh every time I see it.)

Josh and I tried getting a couple of pictures together.  We tried jumping together to no avail.  Harper took these and we all love the lady with us.  I mean, Josh and I clearly nailed the jumping and the lady is really loving being in our photo.  PS:  I have a huge mouth.

After The Great Wall we headed to lunch at another little local place that made gorgeous vases too.  We were so hungry and food was already on the table when we arrived we all just dove in and I snapped zero pictures.  We ate and ate and ate.  Real Chinese food is out of this world…so so delicious.  I ate my favorite dish so far which was a spicy tomato soup with white rice.  Like soooooo good.

After lunch we went to the Summer Palace.  The Summer Palace was massive massive massive.  Like HUGE!!!!  It was definitely the busiest place we’ve been so far.  Our guide Cindy told us it’s still a very popular place to go for locals and not just tourists so it’s always very busy.  We definitely would like to come back in spring to see everything in bloom.  Cindy said there are cherry blossoms, peonies and water lilies everywhere.

One thing I loved was all the art.  Summer Palace has the longest art gallery in the world…it’s in the Guinness Book of World Records.  I was so curious how many artists contributed to it and Cindy said over a million.  Can you even imagine that?  It was out of this world.

After the Summer Palace we headed back to our hotel.  We had met that morning at 8:30am and arrived back at our hotel after 5pm.  Definitely a long full day.  We snagged dinner at another little local place…Fried rice, noodle soup and sweet and sour pork…dropped by a grocery shop for waters, Oreos and Mentos, and then back to our hotel to crash.

This trip has been unreal so far.  We feel insanely blessed to be able to experience our little guy’s culture like this and the Chinese history is so deep and thoughtful and quickly changing.  Definitely an experience of a lifetime.   Today we get to see The Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square and then onto Zhengzhou by train this afternoon.  Another great day in China ahead and tomorrow we meet our son.

Today was our first full day in Beijing.  On our drive back to our hotel late this afternoon I just kept saying what a great day it was.  We had the best time, the weather was awesome, we learned so much about Chinese culture and just enjoyed ourselves.  Our guide Cindy is The.Best!!!  She is crazy kind and shares so much information about China and it’s deep, beautiful culture.

Everyone was dead asleep by 8 last night.  Josh and I woke up around 4, but the kids slept until 6.  We kicked our day off with a yummy breakfast…eggs, bacon, waffles, cereal, fruit, noodles, rice, french fries…hahahahaha, so many many options.  I love our busy city view from our hotel…Beijing was waking up.

After breakfast we headed out for the Temple of Heaven.  It was a massive area and had gorgeous temples and marble everywhere.  One thing we are learning is that everything has meaning or symbolism…even the number of stairs are deliberate sometimes.  So much thought was put into the designs, materials, colors, use, etc.

We saw several temples and also enjoyed the huge park area too.  The boys would have been thrilled if we’d brought their bikes…tons of open space.  Kids we’re playing with kites and riding scooters and bikes.  We were able to explore the whole place and even played shuttle cock…aka hackie sack…with a bunch of older men.  Back in the day, Josh Kelley played a mean hackie sack.  He got out there and showed off some moves.  And we all stepped on some Beijing snow together too.

Breaking News:  Josh and I have decided we’re going to retire to China.  I know some people choose Florida, but not us.  All the older, retired people in China live it up.  Groups of them dance in the park, yell at the trees, smoke, gamble, play shuttle cock, knit, play chess and just party in general.  Yep, China is where it’s at for retirees.

Next up we did a tea tasting ceremony.  This was a blast.  I don’t even like tea and I loved this.  They served us peanuts and showed us how to prepare 5 different teas and we smelled and tasted each one.  It was super fun to hear what everyone thought about each tea and what each tea is used for in China.

After our tea tasting we headed to a little local place for lunch.  It was family style so each of the 3 families here ordered a couple of dishes and we all shared.  We ate noodle soup, pork dumplings, sweet and sour pork, fried rice, beef pancakes, kung pao chicken and wait for it, donkey.  The food was out of this world, Solomon ate the donkey and Josh Kelley ate a sichaun peppercorn that made his tongue go numb.

Last part of our day we spent in the Hutong Courtyards.  The courtyards use to be associated with the poor or lower-class, but now if you own one it’s incredibly valuable and if you choose to sell it to the government you can become very wealthy.  They were simple and so gorgeous.  We saw a local artist creating in one of the courtyards and I snagged a beautiful cherry blossom piece he’d painted.  Cannot wait to add it to our home.

We road in rickshaws in and through out the little alley ways.  Josh and Harper road together and Solomon, Hudson and I road together.  Our guy ran into Harper and Josh’s rickshaw not once, but twice.  He also almost hit a car to which he yelled, “Oh my gosh.” and then almost hit a lady in her wheelchair.  It was hilarious and fun!!!  Everyone loved them.

 We’re ending our day in our hotel.  Josh has already crashed and the kids are semi losing their minds in a delirium and eating chewy Sweetarts.  Everyone is exhausted so we’re headed to bed soon.  Tomorrow we’re going to The Great Wall of China and The Summer Palace.  Only two more full days until we meet our boy.  We’re over the moon and enjoying every second of our time here.

This week was crazy town.  Satan tried to get us down and throw kinks our way, but Tuesday night we set our alarms for 2:45am and wrapped up any last minute packing that still needed completing.  We all rolled out of bed tired, anxious and so excited.  Hudson’s complexion had more color, his spirit had perked up and his voice volume was so loud which is standard excited Hudson.  No one grumbled about this early morning rise.  We checked bags and double checked paperwork and passports.  Then my sweet father-in-law knocked on the door at 3:15 and we started loading bags into his van.

I slept about 2 hours.  My nerves were off the hook.  Our little guy’s O2 machine had arrived just in time and we found the missing piece the company left out in no time all thanks to our amazing pediatricians office yet again.  Most of the night I felt like I was just going to vomit.  So anxious.  So nervous.  So excited.  So thrilled.  So sad.  Praying, praying, praying.  Keeping myself busy with a million and one things.

Nashville to Detroit.  We ate breakfast at 4:30am.  Chicken biscuits and hash browns.  This was Hudson’s first flight ever and Solomon’s first flight since he was an itty bitty coming home with us from Ethiopia.  They were the cutest things ever on the flight.  Solomon was his normal chill self and Hudson had nervous emoji teeth and was fidgety and would have bitten every fingernail he had off if he was a nail biter.

The Detroit airport was a sweet reminder of coming home from Swaziland last year.  Our phones blew up with messages of so many praying for us and our little guy.  We rode all the moving walkways and escalators.  I was probably the most excited about the amazing color music tunnel.  Rainbow lights forever.  The kids hauled all their bags and we’re ready for a break when we finally reached our gate.  Then we waited and ate lunch.  McDonalds for the kids, sub for Josh and a salad for me.  I could not quit thinking about our son.  Praying over his heart.  Praying God would allow him peace and comfort only He could provide.  Let him feel the supernatural goodness that is our God.

Detroit to Beijing.  13 hours and 12 minutes.  The kids did awesome.  I actually watched just a few movies…The Great Gilly Hopkins (sooooo good), Keeping Up With The Joneses (sooooo funny), Mother’s Day (eh…not my fave), The Hollers (sooooo good) and then a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine (sooooo hysterical).  Flying into China was beautiful…the mountains were amazing from the plane.

We landed in Beijing.  Went through customs with ease.  Met our guide Cindy who is crazy nice and from Beijing.  Met another family who is with our agency and bringing home their 6-year-old.  Our bags arrived safely which was a huge praise.  I prayed over those bags…thought about laying hands on them before handing them over 🙂  Drove about an hour from the airport to our hotel in Beijing.  All the kids passed out on the drive.  We all hardly slept any on the plane.

After checking into our hotel we headed out to explore a bit.  We ate the tastiest steam buns for dinner just down the street and there was the nicest lady working who spoke english…she was so so nice and helped us order.  She also told me Harper was beautiful.  The smells were amazing walking down the street and all the food looked delicious.  We also stopped in a little grocery shop to snag some water and the kids picked up some fun candies.

Afterwards we headed back for bed.  Everyone grabbed showers and then crashed.  While laying in bed we checked emails and got another update on our little guy.  My heart raced as I opened it because we received a not-so-great update on his health last Friday.  This update was different and said things like his favorite snacks are rolls, biscuits, yogurt, warm sugar water and fruits and that his nickname is “commander” in Chinese and that he loves to play in water.  My heart still raced, but this time because I still can’t believe we get to be his parents.  I still can’t believe God would call us into this journey.  What an honor.  What a gift.  Can’t believe we are finally here.  Simply cannot wait to see our little guy face-to-face and whisper in his ear, “I am your Mama and I will love you forever.”

A)  The wildest thing happened over the weekend…Josh Kelley and I had not one, but two date nights.  What in the world!?!?!?!  We’re in a season of few date nights…and by few I mean zero…so to have 2 back-to-back was insane and totally wonderful.  A dream.  We got to hang with some of our favorite people one night and talk all things China and life and family.  The next night we went out solo and realized how nice this really was since our family will be changing soon.  There was cheers-ing involved because God is good and He does all kinds of wondrous things.  Plus it doesn’t hurt that we ate spicy catfish, grouper, shrimp, pork fries, tacos of all kinds and homemade guac.

PS:  That was the prettiest black & tan beer I’d seen!

B)  Last week I spent a day creating.  I am closed for orders, but made up some goodies for a sweet friend who is going to bless our socks off when we bring our little dude home.  It was really nice to take some time in a very chaotic week to just create.  Made my heart soar a bit.

C)  I have been to Target approximately 27 times lately.  On one trip Hudson was the only big kid who did not need new pants.  We completely got away with not buying any new school clothes this year and then Harper proclaimed, “You know I only have one pair of pants right?”  Hahahaha.  We’re minimalists…or neglectful.  You pick.  Solomon was down to 2 pairs, so we picked up some new pants.  I loved Hudson just sitting there waiting while the others tried their pants on.

D)  I snapped this right before Josh and the big kids walked out the door for school.  Every morning we’re like a tornado whirling through and then 4 out of 7 people are gone and I look around like Whoa!!!!

E)  I keep telling Josh he is nesting.  He’s replaced our broken vanity, Harper’s broken toilet and then I looked up one afternoon to find him all of a sudden in our backyard with a truck full of dirt.  He is the funniest and I have cracked up watching him prepare for our newest little guy.

F)  DELICIOUS DINNER ALERT!!!!  Okay, you guys, THIS was amazing.  Totally so so freakin delicious and every one devoured it.  It was super easy too and hello crockpot, I do love you!

G)  Amon = snuggliest kid ever!!!!  If you need a cuddle…he’s your man.

H)  And Sunday night we celebrated our littlest 3rd birthday.  How can she be three?!?!?  She is wild and sweet and fiery and strong and brave and crazy smart.  So blessed to be in her life. So blessed to know her inside and out.  I don’t know what the future holds for her, but I absolutely trust God who began a good work in her to finish it out to completion.  He does write the best stories and we’re all kinds of thankful to be a part of hers.

Plus her in a PJ Masks Owlette costume = the cutest thing your eyes have ever seen.  Ever!

Happy Wednesday!

Yesterday I woke up and had a clear sense the day was going to be good.  I even had a post ready I’d written the night before proclaiming it.  After my workout I headed over to Kroger and was met yet again with God’s goodness in the sky and I was ready for the day…I was welcoming it…encouraging it.  What entailed the rest of the day was, for lack of better words, just shitty.  Ha.  It simply was.

I was in no way emotionally prepared for the day and all that it held.  I felt “attacked” by Satan.  It was just thing after things after thing.  Two sick kiddos, one with the flu, no Tamiflu and driving around for 3 hours trying to locate Tamiflu with all the kids in the car.  When we finally had one set of Tamiflu in hand Harper shouted from the backseat, “Victory.” in her best Mel Gibson from Braveheart.

There was the craziest search for an O2 machine that meets airline regulations and then a fight with Delta.  There was a race to our doctor’s office to get papers signed and sent in time to get this O2 machine.  All of our kids we’re feeling heavy and overwhelmed and a sad right along with Josh Kelley and myself.  There were reminders all day long about our newest little guy’s heart and fear settled in.

I cried to approximately 32 different people yesterday.  I sobbed in my father-in-laws chest when he came over to bring soup and juice boxes and pick up a load of clothes my mother-in-law so graciously said she wanted to do for us.  I miss my mom and when he walked into our kitchen I just wanted to be hugged…to feel parented again.  Sometimes what I so long for is just my Mom’s hugs.

There was crying from everyone all day long.  There were some curse words.  I might have yelled and cried when a lady in the Chickfila drive-thru went around me and got in front of me in the drive-in line.  I mean, come on.  No one should be skipping line at Chickfila…aren’t they all Christians.  Didn’t this lady know I had a car full of hungry kids who had been in the car for F.O.R.E.V.E.R including one who was passed out from the flu?!?! Hahahaha.  It wasn’t my proudest moment.

It was a bad day, but in the midst of the junk and the sickness and what felt like attack after attack from Satan, we kept trying to remind each other of how good God is because that’s the truth.  He is always good.  No matter what.  And not one part of our day yesterday surprised Him.  We kept looking for Him everywhere and sure enough we saw Him everywhere.  I always want my kids to know we were not promised easy, but we were promised God’s love.

We saw God in many places yesterday like in Tamiflu for $15 and soup & juice boxes and laundry help from my in-laws, and the best pediatrican around and his staff that is insanely kind, in hugs and scriptures from our nurses, in access to healthcare some in this world never have a shot at, in a note from Hudson he walked over to my feet on his remote control spider while I was cooking dinner, in a sweet note from Harper while I cried to a Delta employee, in 12 random hugs and the prettiest plum tree bloom from Solomon yesterday because he knew I was overwhelmed and sad, from Redbox movies and favorite Gatorade flavors, from texts from friends saying they were praying and asking how they could help, from Hudson’s replacement remote control airplane that broke on Christmas finally showing up yesterday of all days when he was feeling so sick and down.

Everywhere we looked He was still showing off His goodness and His might and reminding all of us we are seen and known.  As we left our pediatrician’s office late yesterday afternoon I heard Hudson saying,

“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

Psalm 61:2

I looked back and he was reading a small piece of paper he said one of our nurses handed him.  I sat in our car and just sobbed because this is Jesus.  All day long when our hearts were overwhelmed, God lead us to Him and allowed us to see His goodness everywhere.

Here’s to a new day and even if it’s not what we’ve planned or want or like may we still see Him everywhere we look.