Everywhere

Yesterday I woke up and had a clear sense the day was going to be good.  I even had a post ready I’d written the night before proclaiming it.  After my workout I headed over to Kroger and was met yet again with God’s goodness in the sky and I was ready for the day…I was welcoming it…encouraging it.  What entailed the rest of the day was, for lack of better words, just shitty.  Ha.  It simply was.

I was in no way emotionally prepared for the day and all that it held.  I felt “attacked” by Satan.  It was just thing after things after thing.  Two sick kiddos, one with the flu, no Tamiflu and driving around for 3 hours trying to locate Tamiflu with all the kids in the car.  When we finally had one set of Tamiflu in hand Harper shouted from the backseat, “Victory.” in her best Mel Gibson from Braveheart.

There was the craziest search for an O2 machine that meets airline regulations and then a fight with Delta.  There was a race to our doctor’s office to get papers signed and sent in time to get this O2 machine.  All of our kids we’re feeling heavy and overwhelmed and a sad right along with Josh Kelley and myself.  There were reminders all day long about our newest little guy’s heart and fear settled in.

I cried to approximately 32 different people yesterday.  I sobbed in my father-in-laws chest when he came over to bring soup and juice boxes and pick up a load of clothes my mother-in-law so graciously said she wanted to do for us.  I miss my mom and when he walked into our kitchen I just wanted to be hugged…to feel parented again.  Sometimes what I so long for is just my Mom’s hugs.

There was crying from everyone all day long.  There were some curse words.  I might have yelled and cried when a lady in the Chickfila drive-thru went around me and got in front of me in the drive-in line.  I mean, come on.  No one should be skipping line at Chickfila…aren’t they all Christians.  Didn’t this lady know I had a car full of hungry kids who had been in the car for F.O.R.E.V.E.R including one who was passed out from the flu?!?! Hahahaha.  It wasn’t my proudest moment.

It was a bad day, but in the midst of the junk and the sickness and what felt like attack after attack from Satan, we kept trying to remind each other of how good God is because that’s the truth.  He is always good.  No matter what.  And not one part of our day yesterday surprised Him.  We kept looking for Him everywhere and sure enough we saw Him everywhere.  I always want my kids to know we were not promised easy, but we were promised God’s love.

We saw God in many places yesterday like in Tamiflu for $15 and soup & juice boxes and laundry help from my in-laws, and the best pediatrican around and his staff that is insanely kind, in hugs and scriptures from our nurses, in access to healthcare some in this world never have a shot at, in a note from Hudson he walked over to my feet on his remote control spider while I was cooking dinner, in a sweet note from Harper while I cried to a Delta employee, in 12 random hugs and the prettiest plum tree bloom from Solomon yesterday because he knew I was overwhelmed and sad, from Redbox movies and favorite Gatorade flavors, from texts from friends saying they were praying and asking how they could help, from Hudson’s replacement remote control airplane that broke on Christmas finally showing up yesterday of all days when he was feeling so sick and down.

Everywhere we looked He was still showing off His goodness and His might and reminding all of us we are seen and known.  As we left our pediatrician’s office late yesterday afternoon I heard Hudson saying,

“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

Psalm 61:2

I looked back and he was reading a small piece of paper he said one of our nurses handed him.  I sat in our car and just sobbed because this is Jesus.  All day long when our hearts were overwhelmed, God lead us to Him and allowed us to see His goodness everywhere.

Here’s to a new day and even if it’s not what we’ve planned or want or like may we still see Him everywhere we look.