I arrived at the court house early this morning before 8am, snagged a seat and then waited. Around lunch time they re-scheduled our hearing. 4 hours of waiting. Being a foster parent requires so much flexibility and patience and understating. Sometimes it’s easy to think people should be more considerate of our time and our life. I mean, there were only a 1000 other things I could have been doing…needed to be doing, but there I was. And it was actually right where I needed to be.
I watched another family as we waited. I observed the mom and the foster parent. Later when they had finished and the foster parent was leaving with the kiddo, I watched the momma closely. I watched her eyes follow them all the way out while she had to stay behind. I wanted to grab her and hug her and tell her “You are ENOUGH!!! You can do this. God created you and you matter. He makes a way when there seems like there isn’t one. He is the Hope in what feels utterly hopeless. Your story matters. Your love for that sweet child matters. You can do this!”
I constantly hear all these horror stories about DCS and foster parents and so many people use private agencies instead of the state, but I’m here to tell you, they need people who are willing to stand in the gap and fight right along side each other for these kids and moms and dads. I feel so much hope and the world seems so good and right and sure when our team gets together…everyone fighting for this family together. There are so many checks and balances in place. Plans being made and executed. Sure information is missed sometimes and people forget things, but were all human and I love each person we are working with because they are all fighting for the same thing and unity…solidarity…can turn strangers into family in no time.
It’s easy for me to cast judgment. It’s easy to think I know what’s best, but in Luke Jesus says, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” Jesus says that. It is a verse that seriously blows my mind. Think about it. NO ONE IS GOOD EXCEPT GOD ALONE. No one. So anything or anyone who seems good, is really God working through that person or situation. God uses us for His good…we’re not the good ones. I know I tend to totem pole sins ranking them in order of “the worst of the worst” to the “that’s not so bad”. And of course, my sins aren’t nearly that bad. I would never do _____. I’m strictly a bottom of the sin totem pole kind of gal. Oh, my sinners heart. I’m not good at all and my sin is just like my neighbors. He puts us all on the same team and erases all those margins we created and walls we built up. He reminds us love should prevail and we are actually all brothers and sisters through Him. We need each other and sometimes that means fighting right along side one another and reminding each other “You are enough!”
I still get weepy about all of this because honestly I feel completely incapable of just about everything. This week has been kind of a doozy and Satan loves it. We’re committed to a life that isn’t ours though. With every decision that comes our way we have to ask ourselves how Jesus would handle it. He lived a relentlessly giving, completely selfless life and as a sinner who is a hot mess and fights my flesh every single day, day after day to make the right choices is hard and I fail a lot. This week has been the constant reminder that yes, I am incapable, but God is absolutely 100% capable…all the time. He does not waver. He is steady and firm. So day after day, He helps us fight to hand over this life to Him…fight to make the decisions He would make. And every day we see and understand more and more the value in love and unity and solidarity with one another.
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