Today has been one of those days chock-full of grief. I’m still no expert on the subject…still finding my way through it and even though I’ve past the year mark since Mom died, it feels so very very fresh all the time. Days like today, I just say to myself, “I just want her back.” No in depth thoughts or mind blowing revelations, nope…I simply just want my mom back.
And even though it has taken me a while to find the blessings in her death…the kindred friendship that was formed, the strong bond between two grieving families, the understanding that in deep grief you can still love on and bless others…the greatest blessing was that Jesus became more real to me than ever before and heaven became a tangible place…not one of fairytaleness, but a real live place. More than ever I am grasping the fact that we are not home. This earth is not it…heaven awaits and even more than heaven, Jesus awaits. The things of this world are so very, very temporary. I can remember talking about heaven with Mom as a kid and telling her I hoped there would be marshmallows and asking if there would be. She said, “I don’t know if there will be marshmallows or not, but you won’t need them, you’ll have Jesus.” And so today I am thinking on heavenly things…and remembering in my heart of hearts, this is not our home.
“For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. With Jesus’ help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of his name.” Hebrews 13:14-15