Well if that’s not a catchy title to a post, I just don’t know what is.
Like I’ve said about a million times, grief is just down right tricky. I’m okay with screwing myself up, but not my kiddos. I figure, Josh could snap me back into reality, but dealing with my kids makes me a little more nervous…don’t want to send them into early therapy 🙂
Last week we were driving, both boys had fallen asleep, so Harper and I were chatting about different things. She started a conversation about Grammy that went like this.
Harper: Mom I really miss Grammy.
Me: Me too Harper, me too.
Harper: The other day I got sad because I found a picture I made for Grammy that I didn’t get to give to her.
Me: I’m so sorry Harper.
Harper: Can I take it to Heaven with me and give it to her then?
Me: No, baby you can’t. We can’t take things with us to Heaven.
Harper: Well can I take it to where Grammy is buried?
Me: Would that make you feel better?
Harper: Yes.
Me: Then absolutely.
So today that is what we did. Before we left the house, Harper asked if we could take some new flowers as well. Totally great idea. We stopped off at Kroger and ran in to get some flowers. Kroger is in full Valentines mode, so they had a huge display of big helium Valentines balloons in the flower section. The wee Kelleys were beside themselves. They asked if they could get a balloon to take Grammy as well. Weird? Maybe, but why not.
I had a good laugh at check out. I had a great conversation with the lady checking us out.
Cashier: You want me to take the $2.99 price tag off?
Me: No, that’s okay. (Not wanting to make her feel weird about where the balloon was going or admit to someone that we were taking my dead mom a big helium Valentines balloon.)
Cashier: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah, it’s fine.
Cashier: I’m gonna go ahead and take it off. I always hate when people see how much you paid for something.
This next part is the BEST part of the conversation.
Harper: We’re just taking it to the cemetary.
Can you say, “Uncomfortable”?
I just laughed it off, made no eye contact and mumbled a lot.
And away we went to the cemetery. I cried a bit, but it was hard to cry too hard when I had such a comical little group with me. Harper took her picture she had drawn for Grammy, the boys took some pictures then colored as well and we took our flowers and Valentine balloon. Sure to make any sad passerby smile.
When we got home and the kids were napping I thought about how funny the whole situation had been. I thought about how much I missed Mom and how she would have LOVED this story. It would have made her day to know Harper wanted to give her that drawing, the flowers and especially the balloon. She adored them and they adored her.
And while they napped, while it was all fresh, I created this.
And that’s the truth…To heal and redeem. He came.
So here’s to celebrating Valentines at the cemetery and not sending my kids into early therapy sessions.
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YOU are so sweet. funny and precious..and those kiddo’s would make my smile! You are doing such a great job Laura as a mom. You had a great teacher! Thanks for sharing your heart and sharing Jesus at the same time. I know your Mother is so proud of you sweet girl!
I love you!
Melody
Good post. Grammy is surely smiling down on you guys. Chin up girl, just takes time, sometimes a looong time. You will heal. 😉
That is such a sweet story, although I will have to admit that I have taken balloons, fresh flowers, little notes and cards along with a windchime to my late husbands resting place…Knowing he has those things surrounding him makes us all feel better…Healing comes from releasing, and I believe that you and your children need these little things to help your sometime cloudy days… 🙂
You did THEE best thing ever letting the wee Kelley’s grieve they way they needed to! Beautiful flowers too!!
My dad was cremated, and my mom has the ashes. With my mother being Japanese this is custom for her. She will keep them with her until she passes, and then my brother and I will lay them to rest together. In the mean time, I sometimes wish I had a cemetery to visit on occasions like Valentines day. But, then again I just don’t know. Either way, I’m pretty sure God is proud of you & so is your mother! The work of art you created is perfect!! Love it! And thanks for sharing with us!!
Such as sweet story, Laura. Your children are going to look back on this and not only remember their Grammy with love, they are going to admire your strength when they realize the composure you exhibited for them despite your own grief. Good job, Mama.
That’s gotta be just about the sweetest thing I have ever seen. What a special way to honor your mom!
You absolutely just made me bust out crying. You are such a strong woman and mother, and I’m sure you have nothing to worry about… Your kids have some of the best parents I know! :)) Happy Valentine’s Day Grammy <3
Yes, I have tears streaming down my face. Such a sweet story….still praying for you as you find a “new” normal.
great post! surely if those who make their home in Heaven now can see over the balcony, your laughter was mixed with theirs! One of my favorite memories when my Dad passed away was when someone came after we left the burial and brought a huge red mylar heart balloon and tied it on his vase on a long red ribbon cord. We didn’t see it until we came back later that day to see the grave. When we looked this giant balloon was having a party in the wind. It seemed to be saying that even in the midst of weeping and loss it is absolutely ok to welcome moments of laughter. =)
I laughed out loud!!! And I’m sure your mo
Would have,too.
Thank you for sharing your heart!
Wow. So sweet. You are right, she wouldve LOVED this.
Precious. He is close to the brokenhearted. May you feel his love and presence moment to moment.
This made me cry. It is so precious. What a great mom you are to be leading your kids through their grief like this. Praying for you…
Made me cry.
I think it’s great that you are letting yourself and your kids grieve out loud. I think it is very productive for all of you to be able to talk about it and help each other instead of bottling it up. You are a wonderful model for them in this tough situation and in life in general.
LOVE that you guys did this.
On my daughter’s birthday and “angel day” (the day that she died), my husband, my other kids, and I get helium balloons, write messages to her on them (from the normal “Happy Birthday! We love you!”, to the one my 4 year old sent this past week for her birthday that had a drawing of a ‘callapidder’ on it), and my crafty 6 year old made her a birthday card, which we tied to the balloon, and we let them all go, taking our messages up to Heaven.
It’s five years after she died, and we still do it every year. It seems silly that something so simple brings so much comfort (and a good cry) to me, but it feels like a great way for the kids to connect to her on a level they somewhat understand, sending her balloons for her ‘Heaven party.’
Muddling through grief stinks, but sometimes our kids teach us some things along the way. ♥
I’m pretty sure your mom was cracking up at your little valentines cematary as well. A good friend in high school passed away shortly before prom my junior year and we went to visit her at the cemetary in all of our promware before prom. We wanted her with us for a part of it at least 🙂
Tears for you. Tears for me. My Dad is also in heaven. Love the art. Is this piece available for purchase? MKW
This was such a sweet post. The art is amazing and made my heart jump.