This day was weird.  It was a roller coaster of emotions.  I know you guys think I dump everything out here on the ole’ blog, but really, I don’t.  There’s good and bad and joy and sadness and laughter and anger and everything in between which I keep for me…for our family…and our friends.  Can you imagine the ear fulls they hear sometimes?  You can all just take a moment of silence for Josh Kelley right now…in sweet southern words…God bless him.  Now I just feel guilty…and it makes me laugh.  My point, today was wild.  From the highest mountain top to the lowest valley…all in one day.  Cra-to the-ziness.

I wish I could list out each and every thing.  Tonight I’m sitting here, my mind going in a million different directions.  Praising God for His goodness and mercy and for answered prayers and then in the same breath asking Him questions filled with the word ‘why’.  Looking to Him for guidance and for His leadership in my heart, feeling His spirit leading and directing.  Asking Him ‘what do we do’ and ‘what can we do’.  And being in complete awe of how His hands are wrapped so tightly around every single detail.  Feeling humbled and in awe of how much He cares for every detail big and small.  It’s just amazing.

For the people who do this wild ride called life without God, oh my goodness, I cannot even imagine.  Just go ahead and send me off…I’d be a flippin’ basket case.  Lost.  Completely hope less.  Without faith.  Without hope for change and answers and love.  I don’t ever want to do life without the grace and love and hope I have in Jesus Christ.  Never.

I saw this quote by Donald Miller on Instagram today, “The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: life is a story about me.”  Amen Mr. Miller, Amen.  Satan wants to suck us into ourselves.  Satan wants us to get all wrapped up in the doing for me…the looking out for number one motto.  Here’s where I’m at now.  The gloves are off.  This life isn’t about me…it isn’t about my pain or my joy or my heartache or celebrations or my success or my failures.  It’s about Jesus.  It’s about love and love that’s stubborn and sticking around for the long haul.  It’s about loving others the way Jesus did.  It’s about dying to my selfish ways…my wants and desires and realizing life is about big love and what Jesus can do through someone who puts themselves to the side and decides they are going to get busy doing…get busy loving.

We have been given instructions…the greatest commandments…to love Jesus and to love others.  It’s not always easy.  It’s not always what we want to do.  It takes work which is hard and not fun.  It’s putting our selfish wants and desires on the back burner and learning quickly that allowing God to guide our hearts is going to work out much better than doing for ourselves.  It’s not about us.

As I once heard a wise man say, “Everything filters through His hands.”  As children of the Most High we are not promised an easy life.  We are not promised everything will go as we ‘planned’.  We are not promised a smooth ride.  But we are promised life…abundant life.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  John 10:10

This verse makes me feel all hyped up and ready to fight.  And now I’m just all fiery…I’m feeling fierce.  I’m all like, “Let’s do this Satan.  My gloves are off and I’m ready to go round and round.”  There’s fighting to be done…determination, compassion, empathy, joining of hands…that’s spurred on by love which is welling up and spilling over.  I’m ready to be His vessel.  I’m ready to put in the hard work.  I’m ready to follow Him.  I’m ready to go where He guides.  I’m ready to listen when He says ‘do’.  Will I make mistakes…Absolutely.  I do every single day.  Thank God for his mercy and grace…for His compassion on my sinful heart and self.  But I’m ready to try and to love the best I can.  I’m ready to fight for the people I love…to pray and do and act on behalf of others.  I’m ready to watch as Satan cowers in the corner…beaten down…bruised and bloody…and God continues to reign supreme.  I think Jesus probably has an amazing uppercut and impeccable hand-eye coordination.  Yes.  Yes, the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy…to lead us astray, to misguide…to get us all wrapped up in ourselves, but Jesus, well Jesus came to give life…and not just any life, but abundant life…one bursting with love.  And that is one stellar promise I’m banking on.