Harper recently bought her very own camera with all the money she has been saving.  She was beyond thrilled with her purchase and she has been taking pictures and videos ever since.  I’m trying to teach her about lighting and the flash and making sure her little finger isn’t blocking the flash.  She’s funny and she really wants to take good pictures, but she’s also care free and just bounces around taking pictures on a whim and of anything her little heart desires.

I took note of a few things while surveying all her documentation of our family.

A)  I think she loves us.  She takes random pictures of her room and art projects, but 99% of her pictures are of us.  All of us.  I don’t know if Josh and I have posed for more pictures than we have over the last month.  We’re talking extreme cheeseyness and usually some kind of thumbs-up action.  We’re fools for her.  I wanted to post every single photo she’s taken of Josh and me, but some of them, believe it or not, Josh and I look even more stupider in.  Shocking, I know.

B)  She digs her brothers.  This is hard to remember sometimes as they battle it out some days.  They are siblings and they can fight like mad, but when it all boils down they love each other fiercely and I thank God for that.  They effortlessly mix their moments of mayhem with truly enjoying each other.  They want to be with each other.  And Harper can express extreme frustration and annoyance and immediately turn around and care for them like a mother hen.  She tries to guide them and encourage them and she is tender to how they are each different.  They are her brothers and I’m just not quite sure anyone loves them as much as God, Josh and myself…besides Harper.

And C)  She’s watching us.  And even worse, she’s modeling us.  Oh.My.Freakin.Geez.  It makes my stomach hurt and my heart beat faster.  She is watching every thing we do and hearing every thing we say, but those actions speak so much louder than those words.  And this is an incredibly scary revelation for me.  I knew it…I’ve always known it, but you go through parenting and forget about it…at least I did.  And then looking through her pictures…seeing all the times she was mimicking the photos I was taking, well, it just made my heart stop and think.  We are who she is looking to.  I want to beg God for her eyes to see us acting in love, compassion and grace.  I want her eyes to see us being generous with every part of our lives.  I want her eyes to see us coming along side others.  I want her eyes to see us acting in kindness and loving as Jesus did.  I want her eyes to see us loving each other.  And I know her eyes will see us make a plethora of mistakes…so, so many mistakes…so I hope not only her eyes, but her heart too will see us see ask for forgiveness, make amends and learn from where we’ve been.  I pray her eyes will be forgiving of us and she will always see Josh and I as flawed sinners in need of grace and Jesus’ love.

Her perspective is so very sweet to see…what her eyes are watching and what she is trying to capture.  It’s a much needed reminder for me as her momma.  A reminder I really needed today.

Happy Wednesday.