Deeply Sorry

Saturday we had two additional kiddos at our house so I didn’t turn on the news, but Ashley kept me in the loop via text coupled with Facebook, Twitter and internet news sources.  I have so many many thoughts on what took place in Charlottesville, but truthfully I feel like they will all fall absolutely short.  Here’s the base of all my thoughts though:  I’m just sorry.  So so heartbroken and incredibly sorry to our brothers and sisters of different colors, races and religions.  I know how overwhelmed and helpless and sad I feel and I am a white privileged women so to those of you who have experienced racism your whole lives…that this is your normal…I am just deeply deeply sorry.

I feel like so many other people say things way better than I do so I wanted to share some great words and articles about racism and what happened in Charlottesville.  I think one of the most important things white people can do to help move towards racial reconciliation is to listen and acknowledge.


Bob Goff via Facebook: The way we stand up against what is wrong today
How we give away love with even more resolve tomorrow
is the best way to let people know how deeply we feel about what happened yesterday.

21 Racial Microaggressions You Hear Everyday

10 Everyday Ways Charlottesville and White Supremacy Are Allowed To Still Happen – crazy good article.  A MUST READ!

Preemptive Love Coalition: Racist Protests in Charlottesville May Come as a Shock. But They Shouldn’t.

“Let’s not say, “I can’t believe this is happening in 2017.” It never stopped happening.  Racism is real, and it runs deep. Let us open our eyes and ears—and listen to our black neighbors, our indigenous neighbors, our Muslim neighbors, our Jewish neighbors, our immigrant neighbors. Let’s hear the lament, the cries, and the pain of their lived experience.  Love cannot look away. #Charlottesville

Lauren Casper via Facebook:

“I want to be inspirational and hopeful and type a message about love and light driving out evil and darkness. I’ve been sitting here speechless, though, so instead I will just be honest.

I am a human being. I am a sinner saved by grace alone. And because of that, my first thoughts and feelings are perhaps not as rational, thoughtful, and peaceful as they should be, but here is what I am feeling today…

As neo-nazis and white supremacists marched with torches last night I felt furious and disgusted and, sadly, not surprised. They descended on a city we travel to regularly for our children’s medical care (an hour just over the mountain from our home) and the university where my brother received his bachelor’s and master’s degrees. They are flying nazi flags and chanting “blood and soil.” They are chanting “Heil Trump!” while giving the nazi salute. They hate my children. They hate me for being their mother. They hate anyone who doesn’t hold their beliefs, genetics, and ideals. They are the face of hatred.

Honest moment – it is HARD HARD HARD for me not to return their hatred with hate of my own. And it seems impossible to not feel afraid. My initial reaction isn’t love or peace or hope. It’s fear and anger and distrust and horror. It takes some serious mental and spiritual gymnastics for me to remember that love drives out hate and perfect love casts out fear and faith brings hope. It’s the truth. But it’s a hard truth for this mama.

I do not feel this way because I am the mother of two black children. I feel this way because I am a human being. And all human beings should stand against this evil ideology of racism and hatred. So I am praying for peace and reconciliation in Charlottesville and beyond today. And I am praying for my own heart to turn from fear and hate to love and hope and peace.”

 Yes, This is Racism by John Pavlovitz

“White people especially need to name racism in this hour, because somewhere in that crowd of sweaty, dead-eyed, raw throated white men—are our brothers and cousins and husbands and fathers and children; those we go to church with and see at Little League and in our neighborhoods.

They need to be made accountable by those they deem their “own kind.”
They need to know that this is not who we are, that we don’t bless or support or respect this.
They need white faces speaking directly into their faces, loudly on behalf of love.”

Unlock Hope always brings a good word.

I also read a great article on how African Americans feel living with confederate monuments still everywhere.  It was such a great article and now I cannot find it anywhere.  One of the lines said it’s like asking Holocaust survivors to picnic in parks with statues of Hitler.  It was a really important read and if anyone else has read it, please share the link.  I have searched and searched for it.


I don’t have a lot of insight tonight.  I feel absolutely helpless and at a loss.  I feel so insanely sad on so many different levels, but I can always listen.  I can always choose to link arms with our brothers and sisters who are hurting.  And I can always choose to speak truth and love when others are speaking lies and hate.


  1. Regarding the line about asking Holocaust survivors to picnic in parks with Hitler statues: yes.
    My husband constantly repeats the refrain about these issues that we have to learn from Germany. They have done their darnedest to make sure it can NEVER happen again.
    They teach the history of the atrocities intensely in school, so children learn from the history.
    They made Nazism illegal.
    And as my husband said just tonight “They don’t have statues of Hitler all over parts of the country with an excuse that it is ‘history’ or ‘part of a cultural heritage.'”

    I was telling my daughter about all of this tonight and she asked me “Would the Nazis want me, and my brother and Daddy gone?”
    “Yes. They would.”
    And even so, we know in our family that we do not face nearly the same challenges that those who are black face. Yes, Nazis would want my immigrant husband and my mixed race children out of this country…and that still doesn’t even come close to the pain and violence that African Americans have faced and continue to face every day in this country.

    I am grieving with you and angry too. And so much love to you as you feel the weight of this for your babies.

  2. Thank you for these links Deep thoughts and navigating anger and embarrassment and an innocence from lack of experience – as a white woman I feel guilty, angry, embarrassed, and so so afraid that I will say the wrong thing in an attempt to love and comfort. BUT… we can’t be silent, and we must love as HE did and does. . So many emotions about all this and then again you all were In my thoughts- THIS CRAP, this fear it might strike in your sweet kids, kicking them down on top of grief?! Ugh! Praying for you all! ♥️

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