December 24th {Christmas Eve}

Well, it’s Christmas Eve.  I can’t believe it’s actually here.  We have been counting down the days.

Today we doubled up, since we completely forgot our Random Act of Kindness Advent yesterday.  So today we handed out food gift cards and we bought a Christmas Eve drug store worker a special gift.

The Walgreens worker was probably my favorite.  I bought some decaf coffee for Josh and one of those American Express gift cards.  While he was ringing me up I asked, “So does it suck to work on Christmas Eve?”  He responded with, “Yeah, you have no idea.  I just can’t wait to get out of here and home to my family.”  I paid, he handed me my bag and then I handed him the gift card.  He said, “Are you for real?”  It was fun to bless someone like that…especially someone who is working Christmas Eve night.

Tomorrow we will be…

gifting a gas station worker with a bit of Christmas love.  I’m excited about this one.

Every Christmas Eve we would spend with my mom.  So today we headed up to her house to eat lunch and spend time with my Aunt Linda and Uncle Tom.  They have been in from Florida and staying at mom’s house.  My mom was amazingly thoughtful.  She already had all her Christmas presents bought up for her grandkids and almost all of ours bought as well.  It was hard to watch the kiddos opening gifts and being so excited, just knowing she would have loved to have seen their faces.

Today was sad, like really sad, but also filled with sweet blessings from friends and strangers.

Someone left the cutest tree on Mom’s front steps with tons of ornaments for the kids to decorate with.  Along with Christmas bears for each kid.  Melt my heart with crazy, cool kindness.

Friends even brought special presents just for our wee Kelleys to Mom’s as well.  And when we came home there were gifts on our back porch and awesome packages in the mail.  Treats and gifts cards, books and gifts for our children…each one remembering that today and tomorrow and each day to come with be harder without Mom.  It’s nice to know others are thinking about her too.

I also went to her grave today for the first time.  Aunt Linda and Uncle Tom went with me…way harder than I expected.  Her sweet friend Roy had already been earlier this morning and left flowers and a card.  Let’s all do the ugly cry together now.  A card.  Insanely sweet.

And with all the pain, there are always those bright spots.  Those moments of goodness.  Moments I know my Mom would have wanted to see and enjoy.  Like her next grandchild coming home.  We’re still waiting and oh, how the waiting is hard.  Another Christmas without our boy, but we’re hopeful…next year, yes, next year there will not be a “waiting” sign, but another sweet, little boy in this picture who is going to bless our socks off.

He just cannot get here quick enough.  My heart completely longs for him.

And now I sit here and think about what this holiday is really about.  About that baby…that wonderfully, awesome baby that came to save the world.  My pain is great, but He is truly greater.  And He knows exactly how my heart feels and how it hurts.  But He is so great…clearly big enough to bear my pain and the pain of the rest of the world.  He is God.  And He is good.

I want to rest in that.

“God is good.  The world He made is extraordinary and His love is like nothing else on earth.”