Day 20 & 21: Whole & Healed

Our sweet Everett boy went to be with Jesus Tuesday mid morning.  He is now whole and healed.

On Monday our crew headed back to the hospital to see Everett and us.  We spent the morning loving on our boy, watching movies, eating all the snacks and opening more hospital mail.  You guys have been too good to us and we are grateful.  Mail delivery each day was a sweet highlight.  We all ate lunch together in the giant hospital cafeteria and spirits felt low and feisty.  Our children are carrying heaviness along with the rest of our family who love Everett so fiercely.  This has not been an easy road to walk and we’re all just figuring it out as we go.

In the afternoon Everett’s team along with his neurological team came by to do their final testing.  We all left and went to the hospital play area with the kids.  After a little while our sweet nurse Denise called and said they had finished.  I asked about the results and Everett had been pronounced brain dead.  I felt crushed as I watched four of our children running and playing and laughing.  I also felt grateful for our children’s strong healthy bodies.

We headed back to his room and shortly after we made our move to Everett’s “transition room”.  I hated that word and every time we left and came back through security I had to say it again…”Kelley…we’re in the transition room”.  There was no calling back like our normal rooms, but instead the security guards would just nod their heads softly and let us on back.  While I stayed to help move Everett everyone else went for a walk down to the Huron river close by.  Having some of our people here felt like life and although I know it was extremely difficult for them…Big Daddy, Jen and Campbell…I was so thankful they came to be with us and to love on our children as they process losing their brother.

   The rest of the day was spent just being together with Everett.  We watched more movies, made thumb print medallions for the kiddos and cut locks of his precious hair and stored them away in little glass bottles.  One of our family life team members made hand and foot prints for us as well.


The hospital brought us all lots of food.  Sandwiches, drinks, fruit, cookies and coffee.  We all spent time in the big bed with Everett and that was probably my favorite part…the big bed.  We love a good snuggle and everyone loves to pile in our bed at home, so it was incredibly lovely to be able to cuddle with our boy.  And the big bed felt more natural…more like us.

Finally it was time for everyone to say goodbye and it was gut wrenching.  I’d done pretty well keeping it together, but when I realized this was likely, without our miracle, the last time we’d all be together with Everett, well, it was devastating.  Everyone hugged and cried and hugged some more.  Sweet Hudson told me he was still hoping and still believing God was going to heal Shuai and I just kissed his face off because we we’re with him.  We held onto hope the entire time and still do.  Right before they left we gave some things to Jen and Big Daddy to take back with them so we wouldn’t have to take them on the plane.  One thing being Shuai’s backpack filled with all his things we thought he’d need and want at the hospital.  His little shoes we’re tucked in the side pocket.  In my head I panicked because I didn’t want his bag unpacked by anyone else.  I started to ask Jen to not let anyone unpack it and I burst into tears.  She assured me she would not let anyone unpack his bag.  Finally everyone got in their last Shuai love and Josh walked them all down.  I crawled into bed with our boy, snuggled in close and wept over his beautifully broken little body.

Josh and I slept next to him through the night.  I would wake up and look over at him and tears would immediately fall.  I begged God to heal him.  I begged God to breath life into his little body.  I begged God to restore his incredible little mind.  I begged God to let him live.  It was a very surreal night and one I felt inadequate for.  How in the world did we get this lucky??  I will never get over how God used Everett to make us better…to enrich our family even more…to bring us so much joy…and to love us so well.  He was a lover for sure…wrapping his arms tight around your neck and he loved a good cuddle.  He made me feel loved.

Tuesday we spent all day with him until his beautifully broken heart beat it’s last while in my arms.  We played Hillsong United’s Wonder album and NeedToBreathe’s Hard Love album over and over and worshiped our God.  We whispered all the things we wanted him to know in his ears and held him so close. We continued to spend more and more time holding our boy now whole and healed with Jesus.  I tried to memorize everything about him.  I craved to feel the weight of his body again and I craved to hold him without all the tubes and lines and although so unbearably devastating it was also such a gift to my mama’s heart…to hold my baby again like I’d done a 1000 times before.  We each took all the time we wanted.  We never once felt rushed and having our team who had loved us so well and who genuinely loved and cared for Everett too made this terrible process a bit easier.  We we’re surrounded by people who cared and people who shed tears with us too although they’d only known Everett for 21 days.  I told them all one of the things I hated most was that none of them had known him before all this…they hadn’t had the privilege of experiencing his fierce, loving and joyful self.  I showed them pictures instead and we thanked them for how they had served our son and our family.

We finally left him around 4pm.  Physically walking out of that room and leaving Everett’s body was the hardest thing I’ve done.  I just wanted to scoop him up and take him home.  I wanted to go back and re-do everything.  I wanted to hit the reset button NOW.  I wanted him back.  We packed all our bags and left the hospital without our baby and it was every bit has horrible as it sounds.  Absolutely devastating and it sucked the breath out of lungs and the tears poured.

The hospital so kindly booked us a hotel down the road and we caught a ride there.  When we checked in the lady asked “Everett?” for our name after we gave her our confirmation number and I burst into tears again.   The Chinese restaurant where we ate with Everett before his surgery was close by so we decided to walk down for dinner and celebrate our boy with rice noodles and pot stickers and sweet and sour chicken.  The waitress started to sit us at the same table we ate at with him and I quickly asked for a booth…I just couldn’t do it the exact same without him.

I slept little.  I cried a lot.  Everything feels like a dream, but I will always always lift Jesus high in this holy mess we’re in.  He is still good.  He did not change with Everett’s death.  Are we sad and angry and miss him desperately?  Absolutely and even more, but God did not change and I will continue to remind myself and our children of this.  I will fight like hell to make sure we all know true and deep that God alone is good, He still loves us all the same and that losing Everett broke His heart as well.  We are not alone in this sorrow and He sits with us in the midst of it and grieves as well.

This morning we boarded a plane and headed back to Nashville.  I carried Everett’s handprint and footprint molds which we’re still wet through the airport and in my seat on the plane so as not to mess them up.  I kept thinking, “Do they know?  Do they know our son is dead and we just left his body in another state?”  It was the weirdest.  On the way home Josh’s dad drove us by the cemetery he and his mom had visited for us the day before.  He gave us all the specifics and I just kept thinking this could not be so.  We are not shopping for burial plots for our 3-year-old.  It made me ache in a new way for all those other parents who have lost their amazing children.

And now we’re home.  Everything in our house is a gorgeous painful reminder of Everett.  Everything.  I’ve already more than once thought “Where’s Everett?” while doing my normal mama mind thing of locating all my children.  Our kids are incredibly sad and are all grieving in their own ways.  Amon did not fully understand until he realized Shuai was not with us at home.  They are doing well to figure out what works for their hearts…some like to draw while sad, some like to cry, some want to go outside, etc.  We’re keeping the dialogue open.  We’re letting them see us cry too.  We’re letting them know this is a mess and we’re all figuring it out together.  And we’ve got kind people in our lives who let them play and take them swimming and just let them have fun.

We are working on arrangements now and will share with everyone once we know.  This is just hard and we’re not sure how this all should shake out.  We are incredibly grateful for all the prayers, love & support and we will always sing a song of hope.  You have wrapped us up in love in so many many ways and we feel so seen.  While we are absolutely devastated we know God is an “infinitely wonderful being” and He used and is using sweet Everett’s story for His glory.  May we lift Him high and sing no other name than His.  We are surely the luckiest mama and daddy…we’re honored to have been his.  What an incredibly strong and brave little boy we were gifted with. We couldn’t be more proud of our Everett Louie Shuai.


  1. Tammy Faber says:

    There are no words that I can type to ease your pain but I know God is God and He can give you the peace that passes all understanding. Your walk and words through this have been an incredible testimony of faith and love of God our Father. I pray that you have exactly what you need to get through each day that is to come. I can see Everett in the arms of Jesus now asking him to take care of each of you. My deepest condolences to the entire family. Much love from Texas

    • I simply cannot imagine. The strength God has given you to share your story is amazing. It flows with His live and your love for your children. What an awesome example. Prayers and BIG hugs for the trying days ahead. Blessings from NC!

    • Kim turner says:

      Our hearts go out to you and send love and big hugs…Your son, Everett was evidence of your love…he grew in the light of your hearts, your love, in his home.
      We have two daughters from China..both heart babies and one with open heart ~ your pain is palpable to me as a mother.. I can only say one small thing and hope it will touch your heart…one day your son Everett will be with you…it is in that moment you will understand and the hole inside will fill with joy! May Jesus touch your face today…just as he is touching your son, Everett’s beautiful face in Heaven..with His Love* I will be praying for you every day now…I love you and all of your Family..

  2. i am so so sorry. my mother’s heart just hearts for yours— and I have no words other than we are praying for you

  3. You are a amazing family. I am so sorry for your loss. God is great and he will take care of you. May God bless and hold you tight

  4. Kim Wayman says:

    I have no words, only tears as I pray for you all. Prayers for you the hearts of your children as they deal with the pain of grief of losing their brother and for you and Josh as you grieve the loss of your precious son. Everett has won the race that we are all running, he has the precious prize of being in the arms of Jesus. Whole and Healed <3

    Phil. 3:14

  5. Carrie Corrigan says:

    Everett has touched so many lives. He was lucky to have a family who loved him so fiercely. There is nothing left to say but this sucks and I’m sorry. That is something I learned from you. Sending big love from Green Bay, WI.

  6. Having had to walk out of a hospital without the person I loved ever being able to come with me, I was literally dreading that moment for you. It is pretty much unbearable. And yet we do it. As a mother I ache for you. As a sister I ache for your kiddos. Just keep doing the next right thing, no matter how small (yes, getting out of bed counts. That path will always lead you home. With deepest and sincerest condolences to you all.

  7. Amanda gray says:

    We will continue to pray for your sweet family. My heart breaks for you. You are such a good Mama!! May he bring you peace and comfort during the upcoming days.

  8. Crying with you all today.
    I hoped and wanted so much for this to have a different outcome for you all, and it’s heartbreaking that it was not to be.
    He will not be forgotten, Laura. Never forgotten.
    Thank you for sharing him with all of us.

  9. Judy Henley says:

    My heart aches for your family and for your loss of your precious little boy! May God hold you all and give you strength and understanding! I just start reading your posts a few days but I fell in love with his sweet little face!❤️

  10. Heather says:

    Your blog is where I’ve come for years when I’m feeling down and need to find perspective and hope. I have truly been inspired by your beautiful son. Thank you for sharing him with this stranger. His life touched mine deeply. I know, not just believe, you will see him again.

  11. Linzi kavanagh says:

    I have followed your blog for a few years now all the way from Scotland. Your family, your faith, your love and your honesty are a true inspiration. I have no words, can’t imagine what you are going through but wanted you to know you are all been in my thoughts and prayers. X

  12. I am so deeply sad for your precious family. I have loved following your families journey and have been praying for Everett’s life. This post is heart breakingly beautiful and sad and so real. Thank you for sharing your heart in the midst of pain. Continuing to pray for comfort and healing in your own hearts.

  13. Glenda Hoagland says:

    All I can do is send love to you and your family. I will always remember how you shared and gave an example of unconditional faith and trust. Love now and always.

  14. Sophie clarke says:

    I’m without words. I’m amazed by your eloquence in the midst of this. I don’t know you at all, but I’m sitting – about to go to bed in the UK – with tears running down my cheeks. Your boy was nothing short of beautiful and his life has touched many. You’ll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Xxx

  15. I begged God to heal him too. I’m so sorry. He looked so delightful and full of joy in his pictures. I’m crying for your sweet boy and your family. Praying for your family. Thank you for sharing your story.

  16. Crushed. Your strong faith is amazing! You bring God glory in your writing. I prayed for that miracle. I’m so sorry His answer was no. Now Impray for God’s peace and comfort for all of you.


    Sherry Ohanian
    A mom who could never be a heart mama.

  17. Grace greene says:

    Thank you for sharing with us in the midst of your grief. Thank you for showing us that Jesus is worth trusting with everything & that God is good through everything. You have certainly given him glory through Everett’s life & death.

  18. Lori grimes says:

    God bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon you and give you peace. Thank you for allowing so many of us to have a glimpse into your sweet family’s journey. I have been praying for your little one all week and will continue to lift you all up in prayer. I pray that you know that He keeps count of your tossing and gathers your tears in a bottle and keeps count of them in His book (Psalm 56:8) Grace and peace….

  19. My heartbreaks. for you and your babies and families. I know they say he is “in a better place” but really that sucks. Sorry. It just does. I. won’t say it but choose to believe there is a wonderful place where God has made for his creation. In my mind there are rocking chairs for loving on little ones there is beauty beyond our imagination and just maybe those that have gone before , like your mom are there waiting. Thank you Father for Everett

  20. I am just heartbroken for you all. Everett, that boy, he stirred my heart big time. And I don’t think he is done yet. He is a treasure and his life will continue to make an impact. I know he will forever be etched on my heart. I pray that you and your family can find peace and love and continue to cling to hope. I am so very sorry.

  21. Melissa Cotter says:

    You do not know me, but I’m a fellow adoptive momma. One day I hope to adopt again another little boy and we had already chosen the name Everett after a family member from my childhood. My friends have joined me in prayer as you have shared updates. After following such a heart wrenching look into your families’ reality, I am amazed at the strength God has given you through your faith. I pray comfort for everyone who said goodbye to your precious Everett.

  22. Marianne cupples says:

    My heart is broken for you and your precious family! I will continue to lift you all up in prayer. ❤

  23. Kelley family, my heart is breaking for you. Like so many others who have followed your story, I am grieving your great loss. I pray that God will bring you peace through your loving memories of sweet little Everett. Thank you for sharing your precious boy with all of us.

  24. Thank you so much for sharing you sweet and beautiful Everette with us. My heart is broken for you and your family. Your strengths thru all of this has been amazing. Conyinue to have faith and lifting God high. I pray for God to give you and your family the strength you so desperately need during this difficult.

  25. Kristen says:

    Thank you for sharing this brave, faith-filled journey. My heart breaks for you and your family. Sending you love and light.
    God bless you all.

  26. How very blessed you all are to have found each other for even such a short time! There are no words that I can find to tell you how deeply I grieve with you. My heart is broken that Everett is no longer Earthbound, yet I rejoice knowing that he is with Jesus. I am so glad that he died knowing how very much he is treasured and loved. I will continue to pray for you, your family, and all who love Everett. Although I was not fortunate to meet him here, I loved his sweet little self. I look forward to meeting him in Heaven.

  27. Corin sandlin says:

    I am heartbroken for you. It’s so hard to see what God is doing when all we see is the underside of the tapestry. I look forward to meeting your sweet Everett one day in heaven with Jesus calls us all home. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. He has helped change hearts and lives

  28. I am so sorry for your loss of Everett. I am crying with you. I am angry with you. I am still praising our God with you.

  29. So very sorry. May his memory always bless you all, and may G-d comfort you all.

  30. Meredith says:

    I have been following your journey for these past weeks and praying fervently with you for your sweet boy. Praying now for you and your husband and children as you grieve and sense the loss of Everett in new ways each day. Praying for peace and God’s amazing grace to cover you. Rest in Him and know that Everett is healed and singing praises at the feet of Jesus today.

  31. I’m so sorry… It is so small and so not enough but my momma’s heart breaks for you. We heard of you from a mutual friend of ours and yours and followed the last few days of your journey. We shared with our friends on our blog FB page and we all prayed, and wept and prayed some more for your precious family! We will continue to hold you all close in prayer.

  32. Jane G. says:

    I’m smiling through my tears as I think about the smile on Everett’s face when he saw Jesus. And the smile on Jesus’ face when He gathered Everett in His arms.

  33. I have read your blog for years and admire your faith so much. I am so unbelievably sad for your family and will continue to prayer for you all. I have been listening to the song “Always” by building 429 on repeat for weeks, with you in mind. There are lyrics that resonate with your story too well, But the jest is that “God knows your pain, but his promise remains”. Everett was a sweet and beautiful blessing, I know he’s now healed but am so sorry for his loss.

  34. My heart is breaking for you. There are no words….praying for His peace and comfort for you and your family.

  35. Thank you for allowing us into your life, what a blessing you are and may Everett’s journey bring many to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. You have touched the core of my heart – a love for Mom’s & their precious children. We mold those God has entrusted to us and I know without a doubt Jesus chose you & your husband to be the parents of Everett, seeing Christ through your lives. As I sit writing this I’m listening to Hillsong Worship – Open Heaven/River Wild – Praise the Name. The chorus reads – “O Praise the Name of the Lord our God O praise His Name forevermore For endless days we will sing Your praise Oh Lord, oh Lord our God.” The other song that hopefully will touch your heart is Jesus I Need You. The chorus reads – Jesus I need you Every moment I need you Hear now this grace bought heart sing out Your praise forever” May our Heavenly Father encircle your family with His mercy, grace, unconditional love and grow you in ways you never expected, ways that will bring those each of you come in contact with to want what you have……Jesus, Savior & Lord. Continuing to pray for your family.

  36. You are an amazing mom. Thank you for sharing the life of Everett. Praying for you and your entire family.

  37. My heart aches with you from the deep remembering of all those same surreal emotions as a mama. I am praying for strength and peace in the days ahead and you navigate this difficult road.

  38. Jennifer smith says:

    Weeping with you. Trusting our Father to carry you through this nightmare. His steadfast love endures forever. “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8

  39. All your messy love & steadfast faith make my heart melt! Cling to each other and lean on Jesus, friend. So deeply sad for you, yet so grateful you had Everett for this season that has enriched your family so much. All the love & comfort to you! Love you, Di

  40. Suzy boucher says:

    Praying for your sweet family and sweet boy. His soul is beautiful and pure and he is now renewed and healed with Jesus. I am so sorry for your loss, my heart aches for you and your family❤️

  41. I’m so sorry. God bless you

  42. AShley s says:

    My friend Laura shared your site weeks ago, and I have been praying for you all, and following you since. My heart is so heavy for you with the loss of your sweet boy. I cannot fathom the pain that you are in.
    I revel in your faith through this difficult time. I know that God is weeping alongside you, as he knows what it is also like to lose a son. May God bless your beautiful family as you journey through this time. Your sweet son has changed so many lives.

  43. Joanie E Fugitt says:

    I am weeping for you all. Thank you for sharing with us what am amazing little spirit Everett has. I’m so sorry his healing did not come here on Earth. Everett will never be forgotten. I will continue to pray for you all. The world is much emptier having lost this precious, precious baby. I truly love the creation God had made in Everett. He brought such joy.

  44. Jennifer says:

    There is absolutely nothing I can say to make this unbelievable pain go away. I have tears streaming down my face as I type this. Laura you are so amazing, you praise our God as you feel the most unimaginable loss. I love you and I will continue to pray for you and your family and sweet little Everett. I thank God I got to know you a year and half ago and that you were able to share Everett with all of us.

  45. Allison says:

    There are just no adequate words! I am so sorry. As a fellow adoptive mom, I am crying tears along with you all. May God feel very near to your whole family! Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

  46. Sarah Owens says:

    My baby brother died when he was 4 years old. He was hit by a car in front of my parents house and gone, almost in an instant. While he was flown to a hospital in the neighboring City he never woke up. We let go of him much as you let go of your sweet Everett. As I stood over his grave God filled my heart with the assurance of these words, “He will rise.”

    Today he would be 16 years old. Life has gone on and we miss him, boy, do we miss him. But I can promise you this, God does not waste our sorrows. My dear Pastor at the time, John Piper, preached at the funeral of my friends infant son these words, and they minister to my heart still on a daily basis;

    “Someday you will agree with God that this was right. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, it may not be in this lifetime, but someday, you will agree with God because you will see all that he has done because of this.”

    Death has changed me. Losing my brother, losing my own daughter, seeing children go when they should be running and full of life, it changes you. But for me it has removed the fear that I am in control. I am not in control, my God is. And he knows all the days that were ordained for them before even one of them came to be. I don’t hold expectation of future for my kids. I can live and love in the moment because that is what I have been promised, nothing more here. But some glorious day, all eternity together in the presence of Jesus our Savior!

  47. Dianne Chase says:

    We lost our son and it seems there should be something I should know to help but you already have what you need. Our Lord and Savior there with you always and with that we know we will all be together again. That will get you to the next moments. With God all things are possible even losing a child. My prayers are with you and your precious family.

  48. Trisha Thompson says:

    I have years streaming down my face as I read this, but am also in awe of your strength. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I hope that you feel the love and caring that so many of us are feeling for you. Everett was a bright light, I loved seeing pictures of him on IG, he had a tremendous smile that will not be forgotten. I wish I had magic words or could do something to help, just now that your are being thought of and I pray God comforts you and your family.

  49. carolyn anders says:

    You are so awesome and such a gifted writer as well. Again, I thank you for sharing your story and inspiring so many others to carry on and praise God in all that He does. May your family continue to grow and heal in God’s grace and love.

  50. Tiffany says:

    I hate you are experiencing such a hard loss…but amazed at your faith. May it truly be an anchor for your soul in the days to come.

  51. I haven’t read this whole post yet – I am going out to dinner in a few minutes and can’t go all teary – but I wanted you to know I’ve been praying for God’s peace and comfort ever since I saw the Instagram post early this morning. There is nothing I can say to make this less awful, so I will just keep praying. I wish I could give you all the hugs in the world.

  52. Tom & Sallie Box says:

    Sallie and I pray for your family in this passing of little Everette. We know The Lord will keep him and you will meet again in Heaven with great rejoicing.

  53. Donna Nelson says:

    Just do not know what to say except I am very, very sorry. You write so eloquently and from the heart. Praying for you and your
    Sweet family as you grieve for your little Everette. ❤️❤️

  54. I am so very sorry. Hugs to you. God gave Everett the best family. Thank God for that.

  55. Anita Lee says:

    So sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. I only heard of your boy about a week ago. I was so pulling for him to live. I can’t imagine your pain. For you to still know God is good and has not changed is a testimony in and of itself. Thank you for letting this special little boy know the joy of a family. Praying for your healing too.

  56. Cheri Russell says:

    My heart breaks for you all. I lost a child to cancer a month ago … no greater pain or loss. So glad God has you and your beautiful child in the palm of His hand; it’s the only true comfort there is.

  57. Heidi D says:

    Praying for your sweet family! So blessed to know how you Praise God in the great times and in the devastation of the loss of your son Everett! Many prayers for lots of quite time for you and your family to process your loss❤️

  58. Oh, Laura. I am so, so sorry. As much as I sobbed reading that, I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Being a long-time reader, I have no doubt you’ll find a new, beautiful way to honor your little Shuai boy. You always amaze me with your ability to bring positivity to the world around you, just like Everett brought to your family. For now, I’m heartened to know you have such a wonderful family around you to help get you all through this devastating grief. All my love to you and the whole Kelley family.

  59. My heart aches for all, you are living a nightmare but with such faith and strength. I pray for your continued strength through the days and weeks. I pray that your sweet children will remember Everett always and live their life with his spirit in their heart. Lastly, i want to thank you for sharing with us your Everett. His life was beautiful and meaningful to many through your words.

  60. Kimberly Schildbach says:

    Love and prayers for your family! xxoo

  61. Sheila ryan says:

    There are no wotds, just tears, prayers and lots of love. Thank you Lord for holding this beautiful amazing family in Your care. We pray for Your continued comfort for each and every one of these sweet children, momma and daddy and extended family. Thank you for giving these two parents so much faith and strength especially in the days ahead. In Christ’s name we pray. Amen. ❤

  62. veronica Bona says:

    I just happened upon your post through a friend. I am so sorry for your loss, my heart is hurting for you. I can not fathom losing a child at any age. I have twin 3yr old grandbabies and oh my goodness.. Your Everett was BLESSED to have you as parents and I’m sure you will remember him fondly in the future. I PRAY for comfort for you all and rejoice that he is with our Lord in HEAVEN. You have a special angel up there. GOD BLESS YOU ALL

  63. Josie Kinnear says:

    Bless your hearts and Bless Sweet Everett’s soul always. My condolences on the loss of your beautiful boy. I offer my prayers and we will all rally and hold you up.

  64. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. I am praying for you and Josh and your sweet kiddos. ❤️

  65. Christina SChye says:

    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I prayed for a miracle but will continue to praise God for the life of your sweet boy. Your writing is so beautiful, I feel like I was there. With a lump in my throat and tears on my face, I wish Gods blessings upon you and your family is this very difficult time. Love and prayers.

  66. Melonie Flavin says:

    It is very easy for me to understand why the Father picked you both to be Everett’s parents. He all knowing power knew that no matter how fragile and broken you are that in your pain and grief, you would have the mindset of ” even if He does not”… we will praise Him. Thank you for your transparency, thanks our for your mother’s heart, and thank you for blessing me with your story. It truly does bring glory to the Father. My heart is full and broken at the same time. Bless you.

  67. Pattie S. says:

    You are such a radiant light of God. I cry and grieve for your family. You are fighting a battle that has already been won!

  68. Susan brewer says:

    My heart aches for your dear family. Prayers for comfort are continuing on your behalf. Your faith is always such an inspiration to me and I am certain that it will be used by God in a mighty way.

  69. Jill Sprott says:

    Sending my love and prayers to you and your family across the miles.

  70. My heart aches for you. I’ve been praying and following your sweet boy’s story for a few weeks now. I too am part of the unfortunate club no one wants to join – the one for mamas who had to say goodbye to their babies. I can relate to so many of your words. It amazes me how grief is so different yet always the same. Please know you are loved and prayed for and your sweet Everett is known and celebrated here in my home. These days will be dark and fuzzy. I encourage you to keep writing, they will be treasured words in the years to come. And yes, you are right… God is the same today that He was on the day He brought Everett into your life. He is so, so good to us.

  71. Susan Hines says:

    The strength, courage and faith you, Josh and all your family have shown have inspired us all. Inspired us to be better people, to be more loving, more understanding, more accepting, more trusting of God. Your faith has given me more courage and strength. You have touched more people than you will ever know. May God surround you all with His Loving Arms and bring you peace and strength in the days ahead. Susan Hines

  72. Andie perona says:

    I am so very sorry for you guys loss. I work in the OR at Vandy and today a new doctor walked in and his name is Shuai. I felt tears start rolling down my face. Your sweet boy and your family will be in my prayers.

  73. My mama heart aches for you…Although we have never met, I feel a connection to you we both have 6 kids, one of them named Harper…the others start with H as well…I have been praying for you and I will continue to pray for all of you…whethet you realize this or not…you are bringing people to Christ…you are showing so much love and faithfulness to our Savior…thank you for your transparency….God is with you Always..thank you for sharing your sweet boy with us…

  74. Meriah Henderson says:

    I have no words Laura. I can only imagine. We will continue to send so many prayers and so much love to you and your beautiful family.

  75. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. What an incredible gift you gave Everett by opening your home and hearts to him. Thank you for sharing his story with us. May the Lord be near your whole family.

  76. Oh my, how my heart breaks for your family. You are showing Jesus to everyone through Everett’s story. You faith is astounding. I pray for the peace that only He provides. And for vivid memories of your sweet boy.

  77. Kellie gamble says:

    I have never met you personally but you have been in my thoughts and prayers! My heart breaks for your family and I can not imagine your heartbreak.

  78. Gail Stanford says:

    Sending heartfelt condolences to you and your family…praying God will continue to be with you and comfort you in the days, weeks and months ahead. Everett was a special little boy and was loved by all us.

  79. The pain of losing a child is unbearable. Praying that God will hold you up and give you a community of strength as you walk though this.

  80. I do not know you, but I know a kind and loving soul who does. My prayers are ascending for your pain and suffering to be acknowledged and shared, as your son was real and as true to others as he was to you. Through Him all things were made and He suffers with you. I pray that you will be supported and fulfilled in the knowledge that everyone who met him felt his spirit…his sincere and innocent child spirit…I hope that helps hold you up through your grief. Many blessings to you and your sweet family through these hellish days and nights. My heart aches for you.

  81. I cannot imagine the pain, and I will continue to pray. Your faith is amazing, what a beautiful witness you are.

  82. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I am sobbing in sorrow for your baby and your family and all the pain that comes with your story. He was blessed to have you and his dad and siblings as you were to have him. Such an amazing smile that is now lighting up heaven. May the Lord send his angels to comfort you and let his love and grace surround you.

  83. Words can not express how truly sorry I am for your family! I started following your blog around the time you went to China to adopt Everett. I too have a child adopted from China, a little girl. At this time of great sorrow I am praising God that your sweet little boy knew the love of a family. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers!!

  84. I am so very sorry. I hat to catch up on the past two weeks and it all reminded me so much of my almost 3 year old nephew who is in heaven with your son. The hospital stay was so traumatic but we rejoice that these sweet, amazing Boys are healed and in the arms of their Savior now. If only that took away all the pain here. I know the Lord will give you just the strength you need for each second of the day. I’m just so sorry

  85. I’m so so SO sorry for your loss! I stumbled on your blog only a few days ago and spent awhile reading through your posts and your journey with your handsome, little Everett. My heart aches for you. Praying God’s super natural peace to come over you and your whole family! Blessings to you as you grieve… Blessings to you when you remember… Blessings to you as you bless others with your story… Blessings to your family… <3

  86. Debraj76 says:

    Gut wrenching, tear jerking, heart hurting experience for all of you. I am hurting for you, and so sorry. We know sweet Everett is whole, healed and basking in a love like no other. We know you will see him again. Your faith…so strong. So why does it hurt SO much when we lose the ones we love? God bless all of you. You will stay on my lips, in my prayers.

  87. Gretchen says:

    I am heartbroken with you and for you. I will be continuing to pray for you and your family as you grieve together.

  88. Jessica Strickland says:

    Oh my sister, my sweet sister in Christ. I just stumbled on this entry today shared on a friend’s wall. I went through every post. Every word about your beautiful son. God, we have to have you. More of you. God we beg you to shine your glory so radiantly bright in the coming days, weeks, years to come for this family you have incredibly woven together. Bind them up, Lord. Hem them in to your loving arms. Guard their minds with your Word from despair. Renew their hearts through the body of Christ. Show them your glory, oh God! Sweet precious sister, you have changed me. Your faith has strengthened mine. I just weep with you as a mother! I will continue to pray pray pray.

  89. Mary Kate says:

    Praying for you and your family Laura!!!!!!!! You are loved!!!

  90. No words. Only prayers that God gives you strength for the days and months to come. Little man will live in your heart forever. God bless you all.

  91. No words. Only prayers that God gives you strength for the days and months to come. Little man will live in your heart forever. God bless you all.

  92. Oh, my God. God, comfort this broken family. God, be glorified through this tragedy. God, draw near.
    I can’t begin to imagine your grief and heartache, but I’m so grateful that our God can, and He’s right beside you in these trenches. Your family is in my prayers. Peace and love.

  93. Jan Johnson says:

    I am so very, very sorry. I cannot imagine and I won’t even try. I am amazed at the support from the hospital, and I am sure your family was a beautiful witness to them of God’s love and goodness. Who knows if maybe lives will change forever because of Everett and his family. We will never know the reason of these terrible things until we get to Heaven, but how could we make it through them without our faith? I am glad you have that to sustain you through the grief and hard days to come. Praying for your family. Jan, mom to two from China.

  94. Rachel Cross says:

    From TX: I’d been praying for Everett for several days now. I didn’t have the chance to check the site to see if there were any updates until now. But as I prayed Monday evening I felt God say to me, “He can’t stay.” Everett will no more have to deal with pain or sickness or loss or grief. He now knows who his birth parents are. Any questions his little mind had are all answered. Now he waits for the rest of us to join him someday so he can hug us and love on us, and thank us for praying for him and for holding out hope for him. Although he won’t be the little boy who left, but a healthy looking young man. He has now touched more lives than anyone could have imagined. He is ok now. He is free to play again. I don’t know which is true, whether those who pass on exist in heaven now, in real time, or whether they just skip to the end of time, as if no time has passed for them when we meet again. I don’t know which it is. I suppose I like to think of them watching us from heaven. As for the rest of you he had to leave behind, my heart aches for you. No words are adequate for having to say goodbye to your child. So for now rest, grieve and allow yourselves to just be. Just be. I leave you with a quote I am reminded of each time I have to say goodbye to someone I love:

    “And as He spoke, He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
    ― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

  95. Margaret says:

    Continued prayers for all of you, now that Everett is safe in the arms of Jesus. May God bless you and sustain you as the whole family grieves and then begins to heal.
    Margaret from the UK ( a friend of Linda Blizzard)

  96. Amanda priest says:

    My heart aches for your beautiful family…I have no words that I feel will offer you any comfort at this heart breaking time, but know that your little angel no longer suffers and though his time with you was short, it was spectacular. You are an inspiration and though tomorrow will be hard, and every tomorrow from here on, know that each new day with your beautiful kids here on earth is a precious gift and one day the Kelley family will be whole again.

  97. Cathy troyer says:

    There are no words to express how deeply sorry we are for your loss. Everett was such an incredibly amazing and beautiful child. We ache with you and will continue to pray. Please know you, your family, and Everett are in the minds and hearts of both our US and China staff.

  98. My sweet sister. Your loss is beyond words and your faith beyond reproach. What anliving testimony you’ve created for the hospital staff and everyone who reads this. You’ve shown Jesus to be what He is, the Anchor for our souls. Love and prayers for your family from New Jersey.

  99. Nikol Richardson says:

    You’re story has so moved me, and I am incredibly sorry for your loss. I can sense the weight of your grief in your words. Please know that others share your grief and are lifting you up in prayer. Sometimes the only thing we can pray is for comfort–God’s perfect comfort, and I pray that for you.

  100. Janice davis says:

    Think you do much for sharing Everett with us. Our heart hurts but to know that he is healed and running with that beautiful smile. Prayers for all may God wrap his loving arms around each of you during this sad time.

  101. Dawn sullivan says:

    Oh fierce mama. I pace around my kitchen island as I read this post in her heart is broken into a million pieces. How I wish I could come bring you a meal and some flowers and some words of encouragement. From Colorado, I will pray. There will be an e on my hand with a sharpie to remind me throughout the day to pray for you and your husband and your precious children. I pray that the spirit will be so generous and covering you with his presence. The glory you give to the father and the midst of this beautiful tragedy is Holy. How thankful I am that precious Everett new such love. That the father gave you the privilege of walking with him on his journey home. Your entire family is engraved on my heart and I am sending you so much love. I pray you can feel it! You are not alone.

  102. Anonymous says:

    I do not know your family and I only came to know of Everett and your family through a prayer request on the Midnight Mom Devotional Facebook page. In only 5 days, Everett’s story and your faith has touched me so deeply. I did not know Everett but I instantly felt so much love for him. I don’t know if it is because Everett reminds me so much of my own fierce, loving 3 year old boy or if it is just my mama heart, but I was right alongside you in prayer, hoping and pleading for his miracle and believing God is still good. And He is. I sobbed and wailed as I read through this post and I am grieving with you. May God comfort you and your family and give you peace. We have all been blessed by sweet Everett and inspired by your incredible faith. I thank God for bringing Everett and you all into my life, even if only for a moment. All glory be to God and thanks and praise to Him, for Everett is whole, healed and with sweet, wonderful Jesus.

  103. Raesha meece says:

    My heart breaks for you and your sweet family. I understand all too well how you’re feeling. I gave birth to my son, Braxton, in March at 37 weeks and he was stillborn. I remember having the same feelings you have had. Our house felt so empty and quiet and my heart and arms felt (and still feel) very empty. I encourage you to hold tight to God. Pour your heart out to Him…He’s listening. He understands your grief. We have to remember- He lost his son too! But because of Him we can spend eternity with our sweet boys, and we have to hold on to that. I will be praying for you and your family. Sending much love from Kentucky!

  104. Cheryl Stone says:

    My heart is breaking; our hearts break for what breaks God’s heart and this surely is causing His heart pain. Like so many people who follow you, and many who have had the joy of meeting you, I have no words to ease your pain. All I can say is that I am in prayer for you and your family and I thank you for sharing this journey with us. Something so personal, intimate and painful and you choose us to share it with. I stand in awe of you – and the God we all love.

  105. tonya Vander Slice says:

    So broken hearted for your family. So thankful for your faith and continued hope as you learn as a family how to walk each day. Prayers and thoughts continue to be sent.

  106. The tears just keep coming. My heart hurts so desperately for your family and is yet so encouraged by your deep anchored faith in our Lord. Will continue to be praying for each of you. You C4C 2016 roomie. xoxo

  107. Toni :0) says:

    I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I just heard about your precious son a few days ago. I live only about 40 minutes from Ann Arbor where you stayed. I went to college at Eastern Michigan down the road in Ypsilanti. I know Ann Arbor very well. My husband went to college at U of M. I couldn’t believe you were so close. My momma heart has broke for you. I can only hope that your precious memories of your beautiful son sustain you through this immense grief and until you meet again. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. God bless and huge hugs (( )) (( )) for strength and support.

  108. judy Wheeler says:

    Your precious Everett knew the love of Jesus. He was so deeply loved by you and your wonderful family. He is now dancing with the angels in heaven at the feet of Jesus. You will one day be united with him. What a great reunion that will be! No tears, pain, or suffering in heaven. Just pure JOY! I pray God draws so close to your family in the midst of your sorrow. I pray you feel His love.

  109. We have been praying for your family…my heart aches, aches for you so. May you feel the arms of our good God around you now.

  110. I am so sorry. Know Everett is not lost. He is HOME. As a bereaved mother, I’d be happy to talk with you if you need someone who knows this pain too well. I highly recommend the Respite Retreat, led by David and Nancy Guthrie. Nancy’s book Holding On To Hope helped me as well. May God cover you with His comfort. Trust Him. He weeps with you. He loves you.

  111. You loved Everett SO well. What a beautiful child! I’m heartbroken for your family and for the loss of his precious life.

  112. Words cannot express the graditiude I feel for your beautiful loving family who love so fiercely with your immensely huge hearts! He is whole <3 Our family's thoughts and prayers are with you. I am hugging you all so tightly. Bless you

  113. Diane, Sister in Christ says:

    Your heart wrenching story is so tender and filled with love and faith. My heart breaks for you and your family! Praise God for never leaving us and loving each of us more than we could ever love one another . Your Baby misses you but is happy and blessed in Jesus arms ✝️

  114. Jo Moseley says:

    Dearest Laura and Josh and children –
    I was so very sad and angry when I read of Everett’s passing. I had many “Why, God?” thoughts. But, last night something big happened to me in the middle of the night. And, I want share it with you. I fell asleep feeling very sad. But, I was awoken with the words, “They could have said No”. I knew immediately what those words meant and where they came from! If you two, Laura and Josh, had said “No, he’s too sick”, Elliot could have died an orphan. He would have been buried and possibly never acknowledged again. But, because of your love for a tiny boy in a photo and your willingness to follow God’s command to care for the Orphan… Everett came home! He became a beloved Son, a treasured and much loved Little Brother. He experienced what Family is. You all gave him fun experiences and provided the very best health care available. You made difficult, often painful choices for your boy. The choices that only loving parents can make. And, ‘tho our many prayers for healing were not answered in the form that we desired, I can see so much goodness in Everett’s life story! Everett Louie Shuai died and passed from this earth, as a Son and Brother! He will have a burial and tombstone with his family name engraved on it. Everett will be talked about and remembered by so, so many who came to love him dearly.
    I’m feeling less anger and despair when I stop and reflect on how an itty-bitty Chinese boy became a Kelley kiddo! Because, the two of you said, “Yes!”
    Your sweet son brought much Joy and Love to myself and so many others. Everett Kelly has a legacy that will be remembered for a long, long time! In a short period of time, his life brought myself and many more to a closer walk with Jesus. Thank You, Kelley Family, for sharing your Precious son with THE MANY people who grew to love him! Keeping you all close in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Jo

  115. Michelle Miersma says:

    Your story had etched a mixture of grief and love in the depths of my heart. What a gift you had in caring for your sweet little boy on earth, yet a beautiful picture of the joy he is experiencing in heaven. I pray that the God of all comfort guides your family into seeing his Glory shine through Everett’s beautiful life. I’m praying for your family.

  116. I had followed a link on the incourage Facebook page and that indirectly led me to your page.

    I feel like I stepped onto holy ground… like I’ve been allowed to glimpse something beautifully, heartbreakingly sacred. Part of me feels like I should just quietly excuse myself without saying anything. But I also feel like I need to thank you for being so honest about both the pain and the hope you are experiencing. You are helping remind us all that we will face suffering, but we can, as Jesus told us to, take heart, because He has overcome the world.

    I’m praying for your family.

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