1. Thanks to everyone who came out to chat and introduce themselves Saturday at the Salty Dog Festival. It was this combination of really great/super hard. I love talking to people about Everett, but it also makes me really sad. Kind of a catch 22. I loved when one friend said, “How are you?” and before I could answer she said, “Well you’re here.” And I felt seen. I kept telling myself “You got out of the house. You made some things. You’re having conversations with others. Be proud.” It was nice being out in the sunshine too and some of our favorite people came and said hi and hung around all day. Plus, the RetroSno truck didn’t hurt either. The best snowcones around.
(Please note how profesh my art is hung. It made me laugh out loud when I saw it.)
2. I listed all my remaining items from the show in MY SHOP. Most things are gone, but there are still 3 sets of key fobs and discounted stationery up for grabs. I’m also going to try and list some zipper pouches and text key fobs soon.
3. This week has been even more wonky and hard for so many many reasons. It’s like everyone’s grief has been heightened by 10. Some new things have come up with Everett’s death that we didn’t see coming. The regret and guilt are suffocating some days. And our neighbor brought over a piece of mail of ours he got by mistake. When I opened it I gasped and then sobbed. It was Everett’s birth certificate. Instantly I just felt the searing anger of it all. Nothing, nothing, nothing is right about getting your child’s death certificate before even receiving their birth certificate. I felt all the rage and anger and pain. I wanted to fight someone…like someone needed to pay for this.
4. I looked down in our van the other day and snapped this picture to share. If you’ve never read Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion
5. We said goodbye to the wave pool two weekends ago. It closed it’s doors for the end of summer and we all lamented. There’s something so fun and special about this place. We love how fun and diverse and welcoming about Wave Country is…which sounds silly, but is absolutely true. Until next year old friend!
6. This little niece lovey has been giving me some major love and life lately. I don’t even like babies 🙂 but there are a few littles I make an exception for…she’s one of them. And let’s all praise Jesus for the black and white filter after a long sleepless night, dark bags under my eyes & busted blood vessels around my eyes from crying so hard. Thanks Jesus.
7. I’m trying to keep up with another 30 Days Of Bible Lettering. I liked the idea of committing to reading the Bible everyday…even if it was just one single verse… plus creating with it. I needed something like this.
And 8. Oh Harper girl. This girl has been put through the ringer this year. So many big heavy things for a 10-year-old to carry and she has done it with such grace and honesty and love. Her mornings are so hard and her nights are always filled with tears. We hug a lot and cry together a lot in her bed. The other day I was listening to the new Imagine Dragons album and their song I’ll Make It Up To You caught my ear. I know it’s suppose to be about a couple, but for me, it’s about our Harper girl.
PSA: Imagine Dragons Evolve Album
Okay. That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m feeling quite proud of writing here twice this week. Hahaha. It doesn’t take much these days. And thank you for all the kind words about our Everett boy. You guys made me teary eyed and grateful so many know how special he truly is.
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❤️
You guys are at the top of my heart all.the.days.
Thinking and praying for you often!
I feel like I Know you from following all things Meg Duerksen. I just returned from my 2nd visit at Camp Create where I was given one of your cute key fobs. I wanted to say thank you, because it’s so cute and I haven’t misplaced my keys once since I have been home. I also wanted to say that every time I pick my keys up I say a little prayer for each of you and my eyes get all sparkly.
It was wonderful to see you out on Saturday. I am so glad you took in the sunshine – it HAS to be good for the soul. Also, ummm, has anyone noticed how big these kids are getting? I remember when Amon was a wee babe and now Harper is practically a teenager!
Sending you love and prayers and hugs, as always, Laura.
P.S. – By the time I got to your booth, most of your stuff was GONE like a freight train. I don’t think there was one piece of art left. You go, girl. NEVER EVER give up creating – it’s your jam!
Saturday was my first outing since my daughter’s funeral. I knew you would be there and I wouldn’t be alone in grief. We didn’t speak but I knew you were there and it helped because I know you know. One day at a time.
Morgan-you don’t know me, but I’m a friend of Laura’s and your comment just made me bust into tears and I had to write something to tell you I saw this and I hear you. I just had to tell you I’m proud of you for getting out and getting to enjoy that gorgeous weather. I’ll be praying that God puts people in your path to love on you and support you. I’m so incredibly sorry.
Well solidarity! We did it. We got our bodies out of the bed. Put on somewhat respectable clothing…mine is to be questioned since I’ve worn the same shirt for 3 days in a row. We left our houses. And we spent out time amongst the world no matter how hard it was. Let’s be proud together!
The other day I was reading an adoption blog and the mom had a picture of their things in the hotel on Gotcha Day. There was a little pink backpack of their newest girl’s things and instantly I thought of you bringing Everett’s little backpack home from the hospital and it stabbed me right in the heart. I thought “Lord, if little things like this make me hurt, how much worse is Laura’s pain?” So I prayed for you, and the kids, and Josh, to have grace to get through the little moments that stab you out of nowhere.
I agree with Cheryl that it’s good to see you getting out again – and you’re right, you should be proud; progress is progress, even if it’s tiny steps.
P.s. Having read this blog since just before his surgery, I *love* that picture of Amon with Jeremiah 1:5. 🙂
I freaking love you! That’s all I have. No profound words because I would never pretend I know how you feel. I said years ago ” it hurts so bad to be the Aunt, I can’t fathom being the mom” when another Friend of mine had also lost a nephew, as we had. I am proud of you for getting dressed every day. That’s huge.
Baby steps. You can only do, what you can do and still function. You are a kick ass Killa!!
Now, go do a hair video!