Archives for March 2016

Instagram:  So this morning I got on Instagram and discovered a whole slew of messages from people from a crazy long time ago…as in 100s of weeks ago.  Whoa!  It was totally bizarre.  Has this every happened to any of you?  They were all messages from people I don’t personally follow and we’re hidden away some how.  My face flushed red as I went through all of them and had to tell people I wasn’t ignoring them about some of the simplest of questions, but that really Instagram was just hiding messages and being its quirky, yet lovable self.  It really is my favorite form of social media.  I try to answer all questions and emails, so if you never hear from me it’s either that I did not receive the email/message or I honestly didn’t see the comment.  I promise I’m not ignoring you 🙂

New Watch:  1/2 marathon training is in full swing which I love, love, love.  Having a routine to follow and goals to meet plus friends, is just straight up a good time.  Crossing out all those little boxes each week on our training schedule is completely lovely.  I recently picked up the Garmin Forerunner 15 My old garmin went out long ago, so it was time (ba dum dum ching) for a new one.  I’d been eyeing the 15 for some time, but never could pull the trigger and then Amazon sent me a happy little message letting me know it was their “Deal of The Day” item.  I bought it up and have loved it ever since.  It’s super easy to use and I love they have sizes now and the bright fun colors.  It tracks our run history so I can go back and view our times, paces, laps, etc.  It does a bunch of other stuff like calories, steps, timer and so on, but what I love most is that it’s simple and easy to use and just right for a runner.

Laundry:  I’m quite sure when I die I will have spent more time doing laundry then anything else.  It makes me sad.  Let’s all talk amongst ourselves about how we all loathe laundry.

Harper’s Fundraising Art: I am going to post all of Harper’s canvases tomorrow. It will be arranged in just one post with all the details.  In the mean time, I have marked down several of my own pieces in hopes of cleaning out my office. You can see all the items which are ready to ship HERE.

Teachers:  I could not adore our teachers any more.  They deserve awards and massages and salary increases and Tahiti vacations and cookies…plates and plates of cookies.  They have a classroom full of kiddos who are all different and on different levels and all learn differently and come from different backgrounds and experiences and need to be loved, encouraged and guided and taught all the things.  I know there will always be a few bad apples in a bunch, but man I am just so proud of the teachers I know and who teach our children.  They love them big and well.  They spend a crazy amount of time preparing and working and researching and learning new things.  They are all in for our kids and that makes me want to cry rivers.

Harper had Tennessee Ready testing last week and this week.  She was cool as a cucumber about it and I accredit her feelings on testing to how Mrs. Hughes is presenting this testing to the kids…even though the results directly impact her.  She could have put the pressure on, but instead she came in with love and assurance and in Harper’s words “We just have to do our best and that’s it.”  Honestly, if my kids never learned a thing, but continued to get these teachers who care and are more concerned about their student’s character, how they treat friends and how they love, then I would just start teaching some math at home 🙂  I sure do hope some of you have those amazing teachers in your life and maybe, some of you are those amazing teachers.  Oh man, just give me all the sweet teachers of the world and I’ll make you cookies forever.

Revelations:  I’m sure you are already over hearing me talk about this Revelations journey of mine, but I seriously just had so much dread and anxiety over it and now, I’m all praise hand emojis for Revelations.  It’s not really light hearted and fun, but it is sooooooo good.  Today’s big takeaway…I desperately need Jesus.  Not like, I just kind of need Him, but DESPERATELY need Him.  I am nothing without Him.  I can do nothing without Him.  He is all that is good in this world and He holds us all in the palm of His hand.  Revelations has changed how I pray.  I’m asking less and praising more because I’m now thinking about how I would actually talk to and praise Him if He were standing right in front of me.  That was a big slap in the face for me.  I want to be the all in person who is just nutso crazy in love with Jesus…singing loud for all to hear. #buddy  I mean, someone make me a ribbon twirly stick thing because I want to wave that wildly too.

And “Be Humble”:  This little 6×6 canvases is up for auction over at TeamBabyBoyd on Instagram.  They are having a giant auction tonight starting at 6pm.  I totally though it started yesterday and while perusing all their amazing items was dumbfounded why no one was bidding on soooooo many great items…then I realized it doesn’t start until today.  Duh. (btw I’m bringing that word back).  So head over and check out all the great goodies up for grabs.  All the money goes towards their adoption.

Happy Tuesday!

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Lately I have been easily…ummmm…a bit down and on the edge and emotional.  I have been throwing mini pity parties for myself.  I’ve also just been kind of sad.  I think foster care brings out major heightened emotions in me.  I also think God is working on my heart in big ways.  He’s moving and I don’t necessarily like it or am enjoying it or really welcoming it with open arms.  I can lean towards stubborn, uneasily moved or persuaded and I’m not one to enjoy inconvenience.  So I might not have been the easiest or most enjoyable person to be around in our home lately.

This weekend I really tried to tame my bad attitude and reign in the tears…despite multiple failures.  I’ve been trying to focus my eyes on the good stuff…God’s goodness which is everywhere every single day…my eyes just wander and choose sometimes not to see it.  Yep, the good stuff is always there.

Cookies:  Cookies are part of my love language.  The boys and I made a double batch because we were going to share and you guys, we ate every last one over the course of like 2 days.  We helped ourselves to a scoop of cookie dough and then devoured all the baked cookies.  We couldn’t be stopped.  Josh Kelley said I need to just stop making cookies.  Whatevs.  NEVER I say.  I revolt.  I might have eaten 20 cookies in one day.  This also might not be an exaggeration even though I want to be dishonest and act as if it is.  Oh the cookies shame I carry.  Josh Kelley ate as many if not more {insert Laura throwing Josh under the cookie bus}.

By the way…Amon wore the same clothes all weekend.  We’re out of control around here.

Harper:  All our kids are awesome, but Harper is the oldest and often gets overlooked.  She is a chill kid, easy going and mother hen to a fault.  She carries so much responsibility in our home, but rarely complains.  She often sees something which needs to be done…shoes and socks needed on a littles’ feet when we’re trying to get out the door, picking out clothes for littles, dishes, helping with meals, etc…and just does it.  We say all the time she’s our sanity.  She has welcomed our current littlest into her room and routine and hasn’t missed a beat.  I am head over hills in love with her…especially when she wears Josh Kelley’s safety goggles while riding in his truck.

Cleaning Out:  I am an organizational loving lady.  Nothing gets my heart pumping like cleaning out and straightening up, so when a friend text me about cleaning out her boys’ closets it sent me into overdrive in our own house.  Warm weather is setting in which means it is time to switch over clothes.  All three boys share one dresser and don’t have a closet, so space is limited for clothing.  They really wear the same things over and over again anyways so buying new stuff is impractical for us…plus I have people who pass things down to them.  When they grow out of a size I set aside about 10 shirts and some pants for Amon and then he’s set when that size rolls around for him.  Crazy easy.

 Painting:  Harper is headed to Swaziland, Africa with our team at the end of May.  When we told her she could in fact go on the trip, we also told her she had to help be responsible for her funds.  She was all in.  She has since brainstormed fundraising ideas which included sending out support letters, selling paintings and baking cookies.  She made her own stationary and has been sending out a steady flow of support letters for weeks.  She keeps thinking of new people to ask 🙂 This weekend we started working on her canvases.  After talking through ideas we decided to collaborate on several canvases for her to sell on my site.  Saturday we started painting and it was seriously the best time ever.  We finished up all the pieces today and I must say I am ridiculously smitten with them.  I am going to have a hard time letting them go and even considered purchasing one from her even though we worked on them together.

They are colorful and bright and kind…just like Harper.  As much of her is in them as me.  In fact, collaborating on these canvases made me wish I could collaborate with other artists.  It was insanely fun.  I would do a little and then pass it off to her.  She would do a little and then pass it off to me.  We came back the next day and started into our same routine again.  And then today, same thing.  I wrapped up all my final parts while she was at school and when she got home she set to work to finish everything up and add any last and final details she wanted to.  I cannot wait to share all the pieces with you this week.  I will post them for “by donation” prices this week and all the money will go directly into Harper’s trip fund.  She has been working so hard and it has just been a joy to watch her and work along side her.

Distractions:  Parenting is hard.  Can I get an amen?!?!  Or a very tired and defeated sounding “uh-huh”?!?!  Our littlest is in a hard season right now which can be exhausting.  We like to say she’s either high of the highs or low or the lows…there is no middle ground with her emotions.  Think night and day in a snap of your fingers.  Girl is a firecracker for sure, so when we find something she really loves…It. Is. On!  She has some true loves in her little life including her magna doodle.  Also ColorWonder.  Also Daniel Tiger.  Also sweet treats of all sorts and kinds and varieties.  God bless these gracious distractions.

And Josh Kelley:  This guy.  Man, I just like him.  Let me preface this love gush about my main squeeze with this…marriage is hard people!!!!  Crazy hard.  A sinful human being living with another sinful human being while trying to raise a bunch of small sinful human beings…oy vey!

(photo cred: my BIL Andy)

Josh got away camping this weekend and I could not have loved it more for him.  He works crazy hard at his job and then comes home and works crazy hard some more…baths, dishes, laundry, dinners, littlest diapers (another oy vey), reading stories, playing, guiding, teaching, listening, encouraging…the list could run on a mile long.  Dude works hard so when he gets to take a break I really, really love it for him.  I told him he needs to go camping more often.  Plus, he came home with a ziplock bag full of rainbows.

So this week I’m trying to not have such a piss pour attitude and stop being a giant cry baby.  Ha.  These are real goals in my life people.  Be inspired.

Happy Monday!

Tonight I spent about 30 minutes watching videos from recent Trump rallies…I should have been painting, but apparently I wanted to depress myself.  I pretty much hate politics, but sometimes I feel I need to make myself view things which are really hard to see and also completely relevant to us as human beings created in the image of God.  We need to really see what is going on in our world and then prepare.  It makes me sad we have to prepare our kids for hard and unfair things.

At both Created For Care retreats I listened to Nisia Murray speak on raising black children in today’s world.  Can I say flat out I feel completely ill qualified to do this.  It makes me cry really hard, really big tears just typing it.  There’s nothing I want to get more right and yet I am so insanely scared I am not going to do it well.  So I listen and learn and beg Jesus to allow me to be who He has called me to be and simply that.  I beg Him for wisdom and knowledge.  I beg Him for love and grace and mercy and compassion in our lives and for those around us.  And I thank Him for His faithfulness.

I’ve been thinking about my Mom lately.  I don’t think of myself in grief any more.  I believe God has healed my heart in only a way He can.  Sometimes things still strike me and it makes me sad and I definitely miss her like crazy, but I know she is praising Jesus all the day long.  I miss her wisdom, hugs & kisses, laughter and long talks laying in her bed or surrounding her kitchen table.  I still do things just because I think about her…like only buying Breyer’s Ice cream and dumping a load of hot clothes fresh out of the dryer on top of a kid.  Mom made homemade bread every week.  My Aunt Martha still makes the family recipe and she dropped 3 loaves off at our house a few weeks ago.  The following morning I used an entire loaf for french toast and talk about comfort food…her bread, her bread knife, her skillet, her recipe…I could have sworn Sandra Hall made it herself.

I’ve been thinking a lot about her prayers for us.  My mom didn’t get it all right.  She made lots of mistakes just like the rest of us, but she definitely leaned in on God tight with her prayers.  She prayed and prayed and prayed over us and our spouses and her grandchildren.  And so I’m learning to pray more and more because I’m so lost in parenting most days…in life in general most days.  Some days I feel like I’m getting everything wrong and have about zero clues.  Some days feel far too heavy and like I’m letting this whole little tribe down along with everyone else around me.  Some days just bring me to my knees and all I can do is wave my surrender flag and beg Jesus to just be what we need.  I’m beginning to see that every day should bring me to my knees in surrender before Him.

Tonight we had tacos for dinner.  Our current littlest took 112 timeouts and then an early bed time.  Amon didn’t get treats because he didn’t eat his dinner…yet again.  We watched Diary of A Wimpy Kid which Josh Kelley found at the library.  I popped two bags of microwave popcorn served in Harper’s plastic Gerber bowls from when she was a baby…probably full of BPA.  I opened a large bag of Easter M&Ms along with mini Starbursts and the crowd went wild…minus Amon who was lamenting over his “popcorn only” bowl.  He said repeatedly “Mom, I sorry I not eat my lunch.” 🙂  I’m still looking at a pile of blank canvases and bottles upon bottles of paint because I got “Trumped” tonight.  I’ve checked my email approximately 5000 times this evening and I’ve cried waaaaaaaaay too much over, ummmmm, everything.  I don’t even know anymore and this seems to be a-okay.

When I sat down to read in Revelations 3 today about the church in Sardis I thought God was just going to really speak and move in me and when I finished I thought I had missed it.  Then the passage toiled in my head all day…trying to inspect my life to see where I stood.  Asking myself hard questions isn’t really my favorite thing to do…at all.  Am I the Christian full of vigor and zest and yet dead on the inside?  Am I the one He’s calling to get up on my feet, take a deep breath and maybe there’s some life in me still, but He wouldn’t really know it looking at me?  Or am I still following Him and will walk with Him on parade?  Have I proven my worth?  Will I be one of the conquerors marching in His victory parade?  And I think I’m both.  I think I’m caught in the crossfire.  Some days I’m one and some days I’m the other.  I don’t like it and I’m not proud of it, but it’s where I truthfully landed tonight.  I know who I hope to represent.  And yet I represent all the members in the church of Sardis and I don’t even know how to wrap that thought up neatly because it’s not where I want to admit I fall.

My eyes are completely heavy, my head is in a full on spin and my heart feels tired and hopeful.  What I’m learning is when most things, including myself, make zero sense and seem at odds, God is faithful, right, strong, mighty, constant and forever.  He stands firm, brave, fierce and bold.  He upholds, leads, guides and lifts.  He is the right in the middle of the wrong.  He is bright shining light in the confusing darkness.  He is faithful and true.  He is so flippin’ good and man am I grateful for those truths.

You guys!!!!!  So the weekend was awesome at Created For Care and I feel like I have lots of things to say and share about it, but man oh man, when Monday rolled around it rolled in hard and fast.  It was full of things like Hand Foot Mouth Disease, a kid’s positive celiac test and another kiddo failing hearing screenings miserably.  Yikes.  Not our best medical day, but definitely not our worst either, so we just rolled with it.

Let me take a minute to address this whole Hand Foot Mouth escapade.  What the what?!?!?!  It’s crazy town you guys.  Harper got it right after we brought Solomon home, but apparently her case was crazy mild because hold the phone…this thing is no joke.  There is crying all day long and gnashing of teeth and tearing of ones onesie sackcloth and the refusing of sleep.  Crazy-to-the-town.  So if you need me I will be trying to pacify a small little one for several days.

 In other news, I am so insanely excited I have a group of ladies testing out my online Bible Journaling class this week.  It’s really happening.  They are logging on and mulling around and watching videos and then relaying to me any issues.  After we get any issues ironed out I will open the class up for registration for the first group.  I can hardly believe this is actually happening.  I have the nicest friend in all the land working on all the techyness of this class.  Cindy is ridiculously talented and has been such a massive help in this endeavor.  THANK YOU CINDY!!!!  If you need web/design work she’s your girl.  You can contact her at CWarren1983@gmail.com  She’s seriously a gem.

I have so many, many other things I want to share…like how I am really enjoying Revelations…whoa now…and my favorite ice cream ever and how Hudson and Solomon were the cutest pups around in their recent school play “Arf” and how Solomon finally lost his first tooth and jerked the thing right out of his own mouth and how I made some new friends and so many many other things.  There are also a 1000 things which feel need to be done and yet, hey, hand foot mouth disease…we hate you.

So how was your weekend?  Tell me all about it.  Eat any good cookies…do share.

Happy Monday.