They Shine

When we chose to become foster parents we both really weren’t sure what this new journey would look like.  There were a lot of what ifs and even more nervous unknowns and still are.  I think all the training in the world doesn’t really prepare you, but being thrust head on begins to do the trick.  We’re still learning how to love and how to play our role well and Christ like.

We love adoption.  God used adoption to stitch our family together.  It’s beautiful, but also heart breaking and loss filled.  Everyday we are learning more and more about how to parent all of our kids, but even more the questions which come and will keep coming from Solomon and Amon.

We believe adoption is not the answer to the orphan crisis in our world.  We do however believe one of the greatest forms of orphan care is family preservation…coming along side families and helping keep the family system in tact…preventing a child from becoming orphaned in the first place.  Obviously this is not always an option, but we want to do our part in this family care.  So becoming foster parents became our new role.

Going into this role has not been easy.  It is overwhelming and hard, but I whole heartedly believe in standing for family.  We’re currently past the 6 month mark with our current littlest being in our home.  It’s wildly difficult navigating all the ins and outs and communication and scheduling.  She has regular visitations, but we also meet her parents often outside of those visitations on our own.  I know this isn’t for everyone and isn’t always an option either, but it works for us.  We want them to see her as much as they can.  We want her to know without a doubt who they are and their role in her life…they gave her life.

Every 3rd or 4th of July…depending on where it falls in the week…for 5 years now we meet up with family and friends at Josh’s parents house for a yummy dinner and then load up and head over to go canoeing on a local lake.  We paddle out a ways and all gather together in the middle of the lake to watch a big local fireworks display.  The fireworks are so loud they shake the canoes and we’ve even had pieces of ash sprinkle on our heads before.  It’s one of our favorite traditions.

This year we invited our littlest parents to join us.  And they came.  They are always so excited to see her.  This was their first time being around a big group of our family and friends.  We know stigmas can come with foster care…we are always a bit wary about certain things people say…or judgements they choose to share with us.  What I am so dang proud of is our friends and family who just love.  No judgements.  No harsh words.  Just acceptance.  Just big love.  As we all gathered at Josh’s parents house that night and began eating I wanted to gather everyone up in a giant dog pile and just gush out all my emotions.  There was food and laughter and your everyday conversations.  I heard countless “She’s beautiful” and “We sure love ya’lls girl” and many more sweet sentiments voiced to her parents.  It was as if we all had known each other for a lifetime.  Josh’s parents and everyone else just welcomed them right in and never looked back.

Then we loaded up and headed for the lake.  Glow sticks started cracking.  Kids started getting their late night wild hairs.  Everyone picked out their paddles and life jackets.  Then I watched as one by one canoes made their way onto the water.  A watery substance continued to well up in my eye balls because of the sweetest canoe holding little one, her momma, daddy and our friend Susan.  It was like they were old friends.  Laughter continued late into the night and everyone loved the fireworks as always.  Then we paddled back, exchanged big hugs and everyone headed home.  Despite leaving for Africa the very next day I could not stop thinking about the night we had just had.  I couldn’t get past God’s goodness and mercy and grace.  His desire to redeem.  His redemptive ways and love.

We’re so proud of her parents.  They are working hard.  This process is taxing and can take a toll on your spirit if you let it.  Little one is loved something fierce.  I’m also proud of our family and friends.  We know this big endeavor could have been awkward, but boy did everyone just shine.  Never will anything speak louder than love in action…acceptance and kindness and words which say “everyone’s welcomed”.  This is the good stuff…the stuff which I think thrills God’s heart.  Everyone on the inside because He irradiated the margins and lines and turns out, there is no outside after all.  Crazy thankful and blessed and honored we get a front row seat in this journey.  It’s a good seat to have.

Happy Wednesday.

11 Comments

  1. This is beautiful! How “the church” should be. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Johnnie says:

    I don’t comment on blogs very often. But, today, my heart is just overflowing, and tears falling. You’re always so open to your feelings, good or bad. Today’s post was just a beautiful tribute to God and to your extended family. You guys are GREAT!

    • Johnnie…too kind of words. We are really quite the hot mess 🙂 but God is so good. And boy did He use our friends and family to love.

  3. Being a foster parent is the hardest job I have ever loved. We started our journey 2 years ago. We are not adoptive parents…some people don’t understand this but I love babies and have a huge place in my heart that these kids fill!!! We are almost 60 and can’t imagine adopting a 2 or 3 year old…not that I haven’t considered it! But it just wouldn’t be fair to these kids to have such old parents when there are younger ones that are willing to do the job…I have cried and greived a lot for the ones we have had to send off! Most never to be seen or know of them again. I know that God is in control and he has them in His hand, we were allowed to keep them safe for a time!!!

  4. What a gift to see a foster family from this perspective. Thank you!

  5. Libby Parnell says:

    No finer folks than the Kelley family!! Blessed to have spent time with them during Josh and Graham’s baseball years!!

  6. Meriah Henderson says:

    This one got me Laura. So uplifting and heart swelling. You and your family, both immediate and extended, are amazing, kind, lovely human beings and I’m blessed to know of all that you do to make this world a better place. ♡

    • Ahhhh, way too nice Meriah. Thank you. God is so good and He has certainly been crazy sovereign through this process. Thankful He’s willing to use us…despite our disastrous selves 🙂

  7. Jennifer says:

    Laura your heart truly inspires me to a better version of me every single day that I read your blog. You love so unconditionally! Thank you for sharing your true heart and soul, you are amazing!

    • Geez…making me blush 🙂 Thank you. I’m really quite the crazy…and hot mess…98.9% of the time. Thankful He continues to ask us in on His works. May He receive all the glory.

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