We landed in Houston, Texas last Sunday late afternoon and everyone’s phones started blowing up. We’d all been off the grid and now technology was back on. I listened to my phone ding over and over again with voicemails and missed text messages…each ding meant my phone was catching back up to American standards.
I thought it was odd I had so many voicemails. 7 to be exact. I never have voicemails unless it’s our insurance or one of Amon’s speech therapists…we’re all kind of like BFFs. As we made our way through customs I listened to each message and my stress level began to rise. Ikea apparently totally missed the memo I scheduled with them about our delivery date and a dude telling me he’d be dropping off a couch and 3 sets of bunk beds on our front porch in 20 minutes three days prior perked my interest…especially when I heard how much it had been raining while we were away. There was a message from someone about a lost bill I mailed in…nothing like someone who thinks you’re trying to dodge a payment. A message from one of Amon’s speech therapists who’d had surprise surgery and would be out for a few weeks. Oh and multiples from our bank saying our cards had been compromised and I needed to call immediately…6 days ago.
I called our bank first. In fact I sat there watching our team grabbing suitcases from the carrousel while confirming payments and trying to get our cards figured out and it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was Satan. Some people may think I’m crazy, and that’s cool, but I think Satan is real and came at me full force the minute I hit the ground. He knew the state of my heart, he knew my mind set and he was on a mission to deter me…to interfere…to make me lose focus from the get go. He was holding nothing back and he came out swinging. After we grabbed our bags and as we checked them on to Nashville I told Josh I knew Satan was at work. And my mind went into over drive on how to prepare for this fight.
I honestly got a bit cocky. Maybe a tish prideful. Look at me recognizing Satan at work in my life and getting a game plan together. Pride has always been a big problem of mine. I don’t like to ask for help…I don’t want to bother people with my problems…I think I can do and figure things out for myself. And so I went to battle solo and prideful. When will I learn.
I was actually really excited to get back to our everyday routine. I was excited to get re-acclimated…myself and the kids. I had taken 2 weeks off running because Josh had been gone as well, so I was pretty excited to start logging some miles. I had meals planned and a grocery trip lined up. I was going to get up every morning early and spend time with God. And it was one of our last weeks before the kids headed off to school. I mean, I was seriously jonesen for some wave pool. Not to mention Amon had his last 2 days of school which meant full on crazy fun for me and the big kids. This first week back was going to be great. Satan would not win…he would not steal our joy.
Then Monday happened and honestly the whole week has been the biggest struggle since. Harper came down with a high fever on Monday afternoon and from there the dominos just fell. Our house has been one big giant flippin’ germ. Fevers, achey joints, sore throats, headaches plus other weird symptoms that made doctors wonder which in turn made parents’ minds wonder and worry. We did go to the doctor, but no “Hey this is exactly what each person in your household has now take this giant pill made of rainbows, lollipops and unicorns and all will be well.” It really should work just like that.
Don’t even ask me how many times I’ve done my quiet time with God this week. We’ve been living on popsicles and rainbow sherbet drenched in sprite…which will be in Heaven just so you know. We’ve eaten one meal together as a family and I may have forgotten to feed some of the children, who just so happened to be feeling half alive at the time, their breakfast and lunch on multiple occasions this week. We have watched approximately 1,006 movies. That’s a lie. I did stretch that truth, but it was an ungodly amount of movies. My kids have eaten dinners consisting of just the randomness I throw into a bowl. Last night Amon ate yogurt, 3 slices of leftover cheese from his lunchbox, sunflower seeds and the remnants from a cereal box.
We realized this week none of our big kids were even registered for school which starts in less than 2 weeks. I did a whole freak stress out about school uniforms and how on Earth do you figure out uniform shopping when you can’t even think straight due to some mystery illness which has inhabited your entire family. God bless oldnavy.com and a gigantic add at the top of their site which clearly reads “School Uniform Sale”. I did have time to practice my french braiding skillz because a little girl with french braided pig tails in a uniform…come on now. I had work to complete this week and had to send out emails saying certain orders would not be started or completed this week as I committed to before leaving the country. I’ve had blog issues and lost emails. My pride has been taking down a notch this week for sure.
I personally look a little like death. Feel a little like it too. While being on hold with our insurance company over a ginormous bill which is just bogus I may have gotten so aggravated with the small humans in the background who were continually too loud causing the automatic phone lady to say “That was not a valid selection” which caused me to yell like a mad woman at the small humans, again making the automatic phone lady to say yet again “That was not a valid selection”. It was a viscous cycle. I am happy to report two children have received baths this week…the two who were sick first and felt as if they had a good solid layer of germ and random crumbs adhered to their skin…acting as a second layer.
There have been tears and fights. I’ve felt as if some God-given dreams are dying. It was not my favorite week and certainly not the one I had planned in my head…certainly not the one I was going to fight so hard against Satan for.
I’m laying here on our germ infested couch and I can laugh at some parts of our week. I’ve apologized for other parts. I’m deeply sad about some pieces, but can honestly say we are striving for Jesus…it’s not easy and we don’t get it right every time, but we are really striving for Him. And I think that should count for something. Yesterday God really spoke to me about how stupid it is to try and do this alone and I’m really glad He did. He is with us for a reason and He puts people in our lives for a reason. He’s teaching me the power of honesty and respect…the power of openness and accountability…the power of letting go and genuinely handing things off to Him even when all you want to do is clinch your fists and hold on tight.
I’m happy the weekend is here and that last week is now last week. It went nothing like I planned and Satan certainly got in a few punches, but each day is a new start. A re-do full of grace. Each day is a chance to be and do differently than I expected. Each day starts out fresh and another chance to let His love wrap us up tight and rest in Him.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23
Here’s to a great weekend.
Happy Friday!
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