One day I’ll sleep more. I just know it. Surely. Right? One day I won’t be absolutely exhausted…like falling asleep in the car rider line. Like nodding off while reading books. Like wanting to lay down in Harper’s 1st grade classroom floor and take a little siesta after school.
Someone commented on FB “Where do you find the time?” Ugh. I wish I had a time maker because then I would make more time and still get sleep. I’m beginning to wonder exactly how long one can run on not so much sleep. I know I’ll do my infamous crash and burn eventually…and it won’t be pretty…it’s a vicious cycle.
There’s just so much I need and want to do and way too much to think about and honestly my mind runs just about all the time…until I fall asleep. Then the alarm goes off far too early and I’m up and going again. Sometimes I look back on a day and think, “What exactly did we do today?” Some days are just like that. I have all these little humans to some what care for and I’m pretty sure they are taking my brain cells as well In fact, Amon just brought me two trivets from our kitchen. What? He cannot be trusted.
But I’m noticing how they are growing and changing and time is really slipping away fast. Crazy fast. I’ve been listening more intently to friends who have older kids…like kids in college and high school and the things they say and how they feel as their ‘babies’ are heading off to college or walking through this new generation which is so scary sometimes. I’ve been listening to their words and advice they might not even know they are giving, but I’m tucking it away because it’s good, wise advice. Advice from parents who have been there…they’ve weathered the “incredibly tired falling asleep in the car rider line” phase. I want to take heed. There are others who have gone before and I’m realizing I’ll be in their shoes before I know it because time is just a jerk like that.
So I’m incredibly tired today. I could barely even put my thoughts together for this post. In fact I’m about to read my 214th Berenstain Bear book for the day and we’ve rocked some therapy and I’ve worked on orders and room mom jazz and I’ve swept floors and cleaned other random things and I’ve fished more items than I would have liked out of the toilet today…cough, cough, Amon…and I am just so very tired. And I look around at these little people…these little human beings which God entrusted Josh and myself with…and I know they won’t be little forever…and I like them…I really do. But I’m still excited for bedtime and I don’t feel guilty about it one bit and I might even bump it up by 30 minutes and let us all get some extra much needed rest and quietness. And for all those other tired mommas out there…working, stay-at-home, whatever you are…I hear ya…and I’m sitting asleep in the car rider line or traffic right along with you as the people behind you honk. And to you I say, “Good job. You rocked today. You’re doing a damn fine job being the best mom you can be. Kudos to you. One day, surely, we’ll sleep.”