T to the IRED

One day I’ll sleep more.  I just know it.  Surely.  Right?  One day I won’t be absolutely exhausted…like falling asleep in the car rider line.  Like nodding off while reading books.  Like wanting to lay down in Harper’s 1st grade classroom floor and take a little siesta after school.

Someone commented on FB “Where do you find the time?”  Ugh.  I wish I had a time maker because then I would make more time and still get sleep.  I’m beginning to wonder exactly how long one can run on not so much sleep.  I know I’ll do my infamous crash and burn eventually…and it won’t be pretty…it’s a vicious cycle.

There’s just so much I need and want to do and way too much to think about and honestly my mind runs just about all the time…until I fall asleep.  Then the alarm goes off far too early and I’m up and going again.  Sometimes I look back on a day and think, “What exactly did we do today?”  Some days are just like that.  I have all these little humans to some what care for and I’m pretty sure they are taking my brain cells as well 🙂  In fact, Amon just brought me two trivets from our kitchen.  What?  He cannot be trusted.

But I’m noticing how they are growing and changing and time is really slipping away fast.  Crazy fast.  I’ve been listening more intently to friends who have older kids…like kids in college and high school and the things they say and how they feel as their ‘babies’ are heading off to college or walking through this new generation which is so scary sometimes.  I’ve been listening to their words and advice they might not even know they are giving, but I’m tucking it away because it’s good, wise advice.  Advice from parents who have been there…they’ve weathered the “incredibly tired falling asleep in the car rider line” phase.  I want to take heed.  There are others who have gone before and I’m realizing I’ll be in their shoes before I know it because time is just a jerk like that.

So I’m incredibly tired today.  I could barely even put my thoughts together for this post.  In fact I’m about to read my 214th Berenstain Bear book for the day and we’ve rocked some therapy and I’ve worked on orders and room mom jazz and I’ve swept floors and cleaned other random things and I’ve fished more items than I would have liked out of the toilet today…cough, cough, Amon…and I am just so very tired.  And I look around at these little people…these little human beings which God entrusted Josh and myself with…and I know they won’t be little forever…and I like them…I really do.  But I’m still excited for bedtime and I don’t feel guilty about it one bit and I might even bump it up by 30 minutes and let us all get some extra much needed rest and quietness.  And for all those other tired mommas out there…working, stay-at-home, whatever you are…I hear ya…and I’m sitting asleep in the car rider line or traffic right along with you as the people behind you honk.  And to you I say, “Good job.  You rocked today.  You’re doing a damn fine job being the best mom you can be.  Kudos to you.  One day, surely, we’ll sleep.”

Happy Monday.

6 Comments

  1. great pics–what kind of camera do you use?

  2. Amen sister. Sleep is a phantom of my imagination and I only have the one silly weasel to chase around. I’m a zombie most days after work, dinner, bedtime routines. Sometimes, I think less is more (not sleep)! Sometimes, when my list of chores and errands are a hundred miles long, I look at my sweetie on the floor playing and realize that I almost missed a sweet moment rushing around, marking things off. So, I tuck that list away, sit in the floor, admire his new curl, wipe the sticky goop off his cheek, kiss him and thank GOD I have the time to love him even when the laundry piles up and the dishes go undone. I’d much rather make a memory than fold another pair if mismatched socks. 🙂 you are doing a fantastic job. Now go get in bed!

  3. This post reminds me of the poem, “The Lamentation of the Old Pensioner”:

    (and if you’re too tired to read it, check out the last two lines)

    THE LAMENTATION OF THE OLD PENSIONER

    by: William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

    ALTHOUGH I shelter from the rain
    Under a broken tree
    My chair was nearest to the fire
    In every company
    That talked of love or politics,
    Ere Time transfigured me.

    Though lads are making pikes again
    For some conspiracy,
    And crazy rascals rage their fill
    At human tyranny,
    My contemplations are of
    Time That has transfigured me.

    There’s not a woman turns her face
    Upon a broken tree,
    And yet the beauties that I loved
    Are in my memory;
    I spit into the face of Time
    That has transfigured me.

  4. I am right there with you. This could be a card for all the weary, full hands,full hearts moms out there. Even when you try with all your might to be present with these little’s the time goes way to fast. Ughhh so joyful and painful!

  5. I know I’ve left this comment before – but you are one of my first stops in the morning. I just need the little pick me up, that extra dose of inspiration before I get back to emails and kids and school and house and, and, and. I’ve been listening too, as well, to all the comments from the moms that have come before me and all their admonitions to hug more, love more, squeeze more – I try to remember that when my kids are clinging and whining – and all I want is to go to my room and shut my door (after taking a few advil) and have some “me” time (ie: a good 48 hour stretch in which I feed myself first, go to the bathroom uninterrupted, take a few naps to catch up and read and watch whatever I want to)…but then I wake up to reality, tickle and squeeze on a kid or two and after a quick ten minutes to myself, I get going again. So, blah-blah-blah aside, I just wanted to say thanks for helping me to be a better mom! 🙂

  6. Amon looks like such a big kid in these pictures…the t-shirt, the shoes. It’s like he’s looking to the right and left to his big brothers and sister to make sure he’s doing it right. He reminds me of our Caleb. He just wants to be just like his older siblings. It’s precious to watch.

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