Some Days

Some days are just slammed.  Like today.  We had a snow day yesterday with doctors appointments and a movie date with friends and a fun dinner.  Yesterday was one where not much was accomplished per se of my to-do list and then bam!  last night around 10:30 I jotted down my to-do list by light of my phone because I started to feel all anxious and smothered and as if the walls were closing in and the world coming to an end just right outside.  Please say some of you can relate to this kind of overwhelmingness?

So I hit the ground running at 4:30 this morning and don’t see a slowing point.  So much to do.  Orders that desperately need completing and Amon’s speech therapy and laundry and dishes and our house is crazy and ladies, some of whom I know and don’t know, are going to fill our house tonight.  And good Lord, if you could see our bathroom…insert mini throw up.  And I need to make up some sausage balls and this Buttery Cream Cheese Coffee Cake.  The world will be much better when that is baking in my oven.

I can feel my stress level rising as I type.  When I was going to therapy on a more regular basis, I remember I told my therapist that I literally have to talk myself off the total freak out ledge sometimes and remind myself to breath.  She said this was actually a good coping mechanism.  I may be doing that currently.  Breath.  Breath.  Breath.  Someone pass the paper bag.

 And then when I re-read all that I just typed, isn’t it all the stupidest stuff which I am getting all worked up over?!?!  Isn’t it all really super unimportant when you break it all down?!?!  Yes, embarrassingly so.  These things which I allow to come into my head and heart and then stress them out, are certainly not worth the anxiety.  I should be letting these things fall to the side.  If they get done, awesome, if not, no worries.  God wants my day to be so so much more than worry and anxiety and stressing over junk.  Who knows what all He has planned.  He wants my day to bring Him glory and letting my head run wild is certainly not bringing Him any glory at all.

Amon is snuggled in my lap and quite possible will be asleep by the time I finish typing and I’m rethinking how I am going to do today.  I get to choose where I let my mind go to.  I get the choice and it’s a battle everyday.  A hard battle.  But I’m going to work damn hard to reclaim this day and try and give God the glory He so deserves.  So my to-do list may look a little different than I’d planned by tonight and if you are one of the ladies coming to my house, maybe don’t look directly at our toilet.  But I will greet you with a smile, some yummy food and ready to enjoy a conversation with you.

Some days I desperately need to sit and re-think where my head and heart are headed.  Some days God just needs a moment to yank my heart back towards Him.  And some days you just need a picture of a storm trooper talking on his cell phone.

Here’s to a day which God has so much more planned for us, than we could have ever imagined.

Happy Tuesday.

7 Comments

  1. I am grateful, once again, that God has used your willingness to be transparent to meet me right where I am… We are FINALLY in the middle of adopting our two kiddos and I am living life on “the total freak out ledge”; more often than not forgetting to breathe… I am praying I can talk my way down, concentrate on what is IMPORTANT, and remember to breathe.

    Praying for you, too, sweet friend, and as always, thanking God for the blessing of YOU!!!

  2. “Sometimes I desperately need to sit and re-think where my head and heart are headed” ….. That has been me almost every day lately. I actually woke up at 2am the other night in a panic attack. Over such little things. Can totally relate to your post :) Here’s to a great Tuesday, and remembering “It’s all good”

  3. Satan must have seriously been launched a stress and anxiety attack last night. At about 10:30 my walls started closing in on me too. I had to catch myself and say “WHAT are you doing?” since God tells us all that stressin’ and worry stuff is unnecessary. Then I tattled on Satan and told God all about what he was doing to me. And then God fixed it. Again. I can still feel the Satan taunting me with his finger inches from my last nerve saying “I’m not touching you I’m not touching you” but I have God randomly smack him upside the head throughout the day telling him to knock it off and it makes me smile. (I don’t think my relationship with the Lord is a normal one) I will shoot up a prayer that God Smacks Satan upside the head for you a few good times too. WHAP!

    • Love it. Whether it’s “normal” or not, I love this mental image. It also makes me think of God grinning when he hears that prayer – “Whap him for you? I’d love to!” :-D

  4. I’m in total freak out mode too…but for way different reasons! I’m 39 weeks pregnant and being induced on Friday if she hasn’t arrived on her own by then. My mom is coming into town tomorrow, my dad, grandmother, mother-in-law and possibly a few others will be here Friday, so I’m in a major house cleaning frenzy. I had to replace my phone because it was messed up and for a brief time thought I had lost almost all of the pictures I had taken with it…I’m crazy about my pictures…tears were shed until I was able to find where they were backed up in cyber space. On top of that yesterday, I suddenly realized that when I go to the hospital I will be leaving my almost 4 year old overnight for the first time ever. She will be with my mom, but I’m still more nervous about that than labor and delivery! I currently have a running to do list that keeps getting longer. Its nice to know other people flip over the same stuff I do and make lots of lists whenever the need strikes! Good luck with your day and thanks for reading my rant

  5. Amen to the Amen!

  6. I love this post. I love the way your head and heart change right in the middle of it. The funny thing is – yeah, when you read back, “laundry, food, cleaning, etc.” it seems kind of insignificant. But that’s life – those ARE the things that get us down. The key is to keep stepping back and realizing that – life will go on if the laundry doesn’t get done (at least another day). :)

    Hope you have a GREAT rest of the week. (And Sol has a happy birthweek!)

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