Some days are just slammed. Like today. We had a snow day yesterday with doctors appointments and a movie date with friends and a fun dinner. Yesterday was one where not much was accomplished per se of my to-do list and then bam! last night around 10:30 I jotted down my to-do list by light of my phone because I started to feel all anxious and smothered and as if the walls were closing in and the world coming to an end just right outside. Please say some of you can relate to this kind of overwhelmingness?
So I hit the ground running at 4:30 this morning and don’t see a slowing point. So much to do. Orders that desperately need completing and Amon’s speech therapy and laundry and dishes and our house is crazy and ladies, some of whom I know and don’t know, are going to fill our house tonight. And good Lord, if you could see our bathroom…insert mini throw up. And I need to make up some sausage balls and this Buttery Cream Cheese Coffee Cake. The world will be much better when that is baking in my oven.
I can feel my stress level rising as I type. When I was going to therapy on a more regular basis, I remember I told my therapist that I literally have to talk myself off the total freak out ledge sometimes and remind myself to breath. She said this was actually a good coping mechanism. I may be doing that currently. Breath. Breath. Breath. Someone pass the paper bag.
And then when I re-read all that I just typed, isn’t it all the stupidest stuff which I am getting all worked up over?!?! Isn’t it all really super unimportant when you break it all down?!?! Yes, embarrassingly so. These things which I allow to come into my head and heart and then stress them out, are certainly not worth the anxiety. I should be letting these things fall to the side. If they get done, awesome, if not, no worries. God wants my day to be so so much more than worry and anxiety and stressing over junk. Who knows what all He has planned. He wants my day to bring Him glory and letting my head run wild is certainly not bringing Him any glory at all.
Amon is snuggled in my lap and quite possible will be asleep by the time I finish typing and I’m rethinking how I am going to do today. I get to choose where I let my mind go to. I get the choice and it’s a battle everyday. A hard battle. But I’m going to work damn hard to reclaim this day and try and give God the glory He so deserves. So my to-do list may look a little different than I’d planned by tonight and if you are one of the ladies coming to my house, maybe don’t look directly at our toilet. But I will greet you with a smile, some yummy food and ready to enjoy a conversation with you.
Some days I desperately need to sit and re-think where my head and heart are headed. Some days God just needs a moment to yank my heart back towards Him. And some days you just need a picture of a storm trooper talking on his cell phone.
Here’s to a day which God has so much more planned for us, than we could have ever imagined.