Search Results for: kindness advent

Things are pretty wonky around our house right now and I just don’t have a lot of words to write.  I am slammed with life and work and if you’ve placed an order I promise I’m working just as fast as I can.

We started our Kindness Advent on December 1st and have been moving right along.  This is easily one of my favorite and most intentional times of the year.  Kindness does not have to be big and grand and expensive…it can be small and simple and free, but either way it’s always intentional.  This time of year reminds me and our family that kindness comes with intentionality.

So here’s what we’ve been up to.

December 1st: Buy toys for the Christmas store at church where people in the community who are struggling this time of year can get presents for their kiddos.  We really encouraged the kids to pick things they would love to receive themselves and they did awesome.  Amon might have asked 1000 times when he got to open the Mickey Mouse tool set he picked out to no avail.

December 2nd:  Share Sonic happy hour.  My phone was dead when we went to Sonic, but Harper decorated a cute little note with a Christmas tree and we taped it and a $5 gift card to the ordering board.  Easy easy.

December 3rd:  Paint wood slices and leave them at the park and on the sidewalks.  We added this one last year and it has become a fast favorite.  2 cousins happened to be over that day so we had some extra painting help.  We all walked down the street to enjoy our local Christmas parade and left these along the way too.  The kids absolutely loved this one.

December 4th:  Buy double packs of bar soap for the prison ministry at church.  Regular every day toiletry items cost much more than they should to inmates and the prison ministry at church is trying to help out this Christmas.  When checking out at Walgreens me and the cashier had the sweetest conversation about prison and people in prison.  She has some loved ones who are incarcerated and she shared some really valuable words with me.  Truth be known I wanted to reach across that counter and bear hug her.

December 5th:  Load trinket machines up with quarters.  The kids always love this one and are totally okay walking away empty handed.  This year we had too few machines and quarters leftover so we went ahead and turned some of them, left the trinket or candy under the silvery, metal flap and loaded the machine up again.

December 6th:  Treat and warm drink for our Salvation Army bell ringer.  When the kids got in the car after school the first thing Hudson said was, “Mom I brought a dollar to put in the bucket.”  I absolutely love that the kids love doing this.  I love the intentionality of this time because it’s one of the busiest, bustling times of the year.  There’s a Starbucks in our Kroger grocery store so we slipped past our sweet bell ringer and the kids picked out yummy treats…cake pops to be exact.  We noticed he was already drinking a coffee so we opted for a $5 gift card instead of an actual drink so he could get whatever he liked when he was ready.  We gave him the goodies, dropped in our monies, wished him a Merry Christmas and he was just the sweetest.  As we walked away Hudson said, “That felt good.”

Tomorrow is ornament delivery and everyone has their recipients picked out and ornament ready to go.

If you would like to follow along daily with our advent I’m sharing about it over on Instagram.

Happy Tuesday night!

Hi!!!  Gosh, it’s been three weeks since I’ve stopped in and typed my guts out on these keys.  It’s been a whirlwind in so many ways.  November is a weird month for my anxiety and sadness.  It’s my birthday month and the month my Mom died in.  The day she died was just the weirdest day because her death was sudden and on set and I was by myself when some serious decisions needed to be made and a doctor yelled at me and I was 29 and very clueless about ALL THE HOSPITAL & DEATH THINGS.  So it often feels like a lot of replaying the whole day over and over again in my head and remembering not so great feelings and words said and I can feel some serious anger about it all.  We do always celebrate her and this year it was with Dairy Queen.  Amon and I got her favorite Butterfinger Blizzard and all felt mediumly right in the world for a moment.

I wrote this about her yesterday:

“I love this photo of us. She was my person. She is my one true parent. The one who stuck it out and loved and cared and gave with zero strings attached. She always wrapped me up tight. She always called. She always loved us and our kids to absolute pieces. She taught me my #1 parenting goal…To always pursue my kids. To chase after and love them fiercely and unconditionally no matter what. I miss her hugs and laugh the most. She felt like straight up home and acceptance just as I was…no fixing required. 8 years feels like far too long.  Another day closer in all the ways.”

I’ve been working some.  I put together 40 kindness advent kits and then sold them.  That’s how that works right?!?!  HA! 🙂  Now I’m working on key fobs.  Creating makes me feel better.  It’s this weird push and pull because it is insanely hard for me to get started creating these days, but once I get into my groove it’s just what I need.  I’ve been trying to push myself some everyday to create something no matter how big or small…just something.

We nailed down our own kindness advent activities for this season.  This will mark our 9th year of doing this which seems so insane.  You can read all about it HERE…my mom’s death inspired it all.  This year we are doing things that are completely free or things we already have the supplies for around our home because medical bills are legit.  I thought we’d have a hard time coming up with 25 things, but after a few car rides to and from school we had brainstormed a whole list.

I also put together a PDF of 101 Kindness Activities and listed it in my shop for $5.  It’s all the things we have done over the years or are doing this year.  I love this little list and it weirdly means so much to me.  Anyways, if you’d like to snag it CLICK HERE!!!

Winter and Leo are now the #1 school picture takers in our home.  These gems landed in my email and a smiled stretched so far across my face I almost broke.  I mean, Leo’s crooked glasses and giant wet spot on his shirt = perfection.  Winter was recently gifted some gold necklaces from Mrs. Diana at church.  I’m not sure who was working the kids’ photo line that day, but apparently they thought the necklaces should be neatly tucked under her collar and on full display.  Thank you whoever you are!  We’re considering getting personalized mouse pads made. 🙂

We get to celebrate 3 birthdays in the fall.  Josh Kelley busted into his 37th year first.  He requested things like sausage balls and orange juice with pulp (Gag!) for breakfast and chocolate chip cookies and a date night at Bar Taco.  So we did all of that.  I even lost his birthday card…already filled out and sealed…at the hospital…and didn’t even buy a replacement.  I just told him about his card…provided a spoken visual…and he was good with it.

Hudson was up next.  He turned 11 and Josh and I wondered how we got so lucky to parent this giant man child.  Donuts and a Little Debbie birthday cake and Taco Bell and some new soccer gear and a game of soccer at the park with Icees were all on the agenda.

He’s the funniest guy.  Our resident comedian and sweet love.  When I look at him, I feel his feelings so strongly.  I feel his smiles and laughter and his sadness and nervousness.  I hear his words and feel it all and I’m so glad I do.

As part of his gift Josh, Hudson, Solomon, Big Daddy and their friend Adrian all went to a Nashville Soccer Club game.  They had THE BEST time and now Josh and his dad are ready to buy season tickets next year.  They had an absolute blast.

And I’m the last Kelley birthday of each year.  I turned the big 37 too.  I’m usually super strategic about special days, but this year I felt pretty meh about it all.  Just my luck, some friends stepped in and made my birthday weekend a little extra.  Ashley, Alissa and Leah shoved me in the car at 5am and instead of hitting up the gym like we usually do they whisked me off the Waffle House for breakfast.  Leah hung up a birthday banner and even pulled champaign out of her purse to make mimosas.  Come on now, amazing.

Jen and Chad bought ridiculously amazing tickets to the Avett Brother’s concert and Jen and I had a night out.  It was insanely good.  We laughed and cried and talked about all the big and small things.  Jen’s one of my most favorite people to chat with because nothing will shock her.  She’s as open and accepting as they come.  It was such a good night and the cherry on the very top was when the rainbow lights lit up the stage and I felt Everett so close.  Miss that little boy like crazy.

For my actual birthday not much was on the agenda other than watching some amazing kiddos play soccer, finding the funniest penis shaped gummy…it’s supposed to be a carrot, but we all know better…and hanging some leaves at Everett’s grave.  That’s all I really wanted…minus the penis gummy. 🙂

And now the end of November is close.  Like so close.  I’m hoping to stop back in again sooner than later.  It feels good to type and share even the most mundane of things.  I think about this little space on the internet and I hope I never wander too far away.  Thanks so much for stopping by, reading and caring.  Means the world.

Amon and Winter have already been requesting things for Christmas.  I’m working on a new Kindness Advent.  Josh Kelley has mentioned putting up his Christmas lights more than once already.  I may have already purchased some stocking stuffers and 2 out of 3 of Leo’s Christmas gifts.  What I’m saying is the Kelleys have Christmas on the brain.  It’s true.  Scoff all you want, but it’s true.  And this year I feel excited unlike many of the last few years.

We’re mixing up our Kindness Advent this year by choosing kindness that is completely free or we already have the supplies or items on hand in our home.  Very honestly, the main reason for this year’s spending free kindness is lots and lots of medical debt and we thought it would be a good challenge for our crew.  We all brainstormed over a few days and several car rides to and from school and came up with a legit good list.  It was actually really fun figuring it all out.  Also, I might be making up Kindness Advent kits for MY SHOP.  It’s been a long time request and I’m trying my hardest to make it happen this year.  I’ll share more soon, but as you can see Christmas is definitely on the brain.

Noonday recently released their Winter Line and it’s gorgeous.  It screams Everett Kelley and I want to buy pretty much every last thing.  Every year each kiddo gets a new ornament and when I saw the Rustic Bell Ornaments I knew what would be our kiddos’ ornaments this year.  Some years they get individualized ornaments pertaining specifically to them or something important from their last year, but sometimes I get them matching/similar ornaments.  They all have handmade clay balls from Ethiopia, paper mâché ornaments from Nepal, different stitched and crocheted stars from Afghanistan & East Asia and tiny animal bells from Zhengzhou, China.  Bells from India are joining the mix this year.

While I’m already thinking ahead to Christmas, I’m also thinking about birthdays and teacher gifts and just because treats for people who need some extra encouragement.  I’ve seen some Noonday artists in person…I’ve seen their craft and creativeness and it’s crazy legit.  What I can say with confidence is this is purchasing with purpose and power.

Tomorrow night we’ll party with Noonday.  If you’re local, I hope to see you there.  I promise to fix you a drink, hand you a plate of food and hug your neck.  And I promise you’ll laugh…it’s just what we do.  No pressure to buy, just come hang out and eat and drink.  Also, my friend Ashley gave me a bunch of new Noonday samples so there will be door prizes galore.  It’s going to be crazy fun!!!  If you can’t make the party, no biggie.  You can SHOP ONLINE HERE!  All items will be mailed directly to you.

Now I’m off to make some more cookies and clean our toilet. 😉 Rolling out the red carpet.

We all had our predictions on what Leo would do upon seeing Santa and Ms. Claus.  I was hoping for the screaming and crying “Get me out of here” moment because those pictures are top notch and bring all the laughs, but the kid loved Santa.  He walked right up, sat on his lap and gave his beard a tug.  Winter’s reaction to Santa coming in was my favorite though.  She squealed with absolute delight and kept asking me to remind her of what Santa’s wife’s name was. 🙂  There weren’t many Christmas requests this year, but Winter did ask for an ornament and I love that was her request to Santa.

We put out Everett’s Christmas tree again.  We pulled out the rainbow lights and all the ornaments we made together last year, decorated his tree and then took it to his grave all together.  This is our normal now.  Everyone knows we go to the cemetery.  They load up bikes and skateboards and scooters and the football and a blanket and they know this is just what we do.  It’s equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking.

Josh Kelley and I found mini gingerbread houses at Target and I never want to go back to the big ones again.  LOVED the little minis and so did the kids.  They all got their own and decorated their own and ate their own.  There was enough for Josh and I to make one too.  His was pretty legit, but we all know who won best gingerbread house award.  Wink, wink, nod.

Josh’s quote for our Christmas.  Hahahahahahaha.  It was so fitting.  We really wanted to add the explicits that follow, but figured we’d let it be a G rated board.  If I could sum up how the Kelley family felt about the holidays this year, this would be it.  Peace out Christmas.

There were approximately 43 spaceships or forts made out of delivery boxes in the month December.

Chalkboard art forever.  #revolvingchalkboard

Special little events here and there were lifters for the kids during this weird feeling season.  Our friend Bekah gave us tickets to the Marvel event and the kids were huge fans.  They had the best time.  Thanks so much Bekah!!!

We went to see the new Grinch movie and to our surprise, we were not big fans.  I think it’s hard to re-make such a classic…especially after Jim Carrey took on the roll of The Grinch.  The new one was not our favorite version.  It was sweet and cute and I teared up at one moment, but it was pretty meh!  Which made me sad because I adore Benedict Cumberbatch…Hello Sherlock and Dr. Strange!!

We Kindness Advented our way through December.  My favorite part is reading all the cards and kind words my kids share with others.  This was Amon’s card to Mr. Allen who helps clean and take care of their school.  I mean, the smile induced by his little words lasted for quite some time.

Hudson, Solomon, Amon and Winter were all in a Christmas play at Josh’s parents church.  Hudson was suppose to be a wiseman, but got sick so Amon left his role as an animal and took on the wiseman position.  Winter was some sort of animal and Solomon was Gabriel.  When I saw this photo of Sol it made my heart swoon.  This boy…geeze…there’s something about him and being caught in this in-between stage of still being a kiddo, but nearing pre-teeness.  He still gives me hugs at random and likes to snuggle and I just could eat his little face off.

Toby was constantly on our minds and hearts.  As we walked Target aisles picking up all our last-week-of-school-before-Christmas-break-and-everyone-has-a-party-and-ten-things-they-have-to-bring-in items we collected his name.  It’s beyond hard to be in the hospital with your child as the world carries on.  We always want them to know they are never far from our thoughts.

Candy canes all December long.  Candy canes from the Christmas parade and school and parties and random candy canes given to us at every single turn and the peppermint sticks I love to buy.  The kids ate peppermint before breakfast far too many mornings.  Merry Christmas indeed.

The kids all buy presents for one another with their own money each year.  This year we waited far too late for shopping, so they drew names and shopped for just one sibling and I hope we never go back.  I loved seeing what they had selected for one another and seeing how excited the giver was to watch the recipient open their gift.  Most of their packages had added rainbows and hearts and I love it so much!!! We talk about Everett every single day and I deeply hope that never changes.

PS: Amon’s “luf you”, well OH MY GAH!!!  We are absolutely the luckiest.

I’ve thought about stopping in and writing time and time again.  In fact I’ve written what feels like a 1000 posts in my head, but haven’t taken any of them to my keyboard.  Things are just wonky and hard around our house and in our heads and in our hearts and putting those feelings down are just harder than imagined some days.  We’re all struggling to figure out who we are now and what this supposed joyful and hope filled time is suppose to look like.  Josh Kelley and I we’re talking the other night about how we feel like we can’t win right now.  Everett’s death shadows most everything right now.  We try and plan fun things to take our minds off of our loss and get us out of the house, but right now missing Everett always comes back around.  Example:  We we’re all so excited about the new Star Wars movie.  We planned, we went, we watched and snacked on all the fun movie snacks.  And by the time we got home 3 out of 5 kiddos we’re sad and crying and missing their brother.  Our grief just over shadows everything right now.

We are not lost to the fact that things could be so much worse though.  We are blessed and grateful for so many things.  We have each other and we’re mama and daddy to 6 beautiful children.  We can feed our children and we have a warm, safe home to live in each day and sleep in each night.  We are all healthy and strong.  God is still God and He reigns always supreme.  We have some dear people who have chosen to walk this grief road with us.  We see joy on the horizon, but getting there is sometimes a hard road.  I’m white knuckling hope for myself, Josh, our kids and our future as a family.

The kids officially began winter break on Monday.  It’s hard all being home with all of our grief all the time.  We convince ourselves we should go and do and then we all just end up wanting to be home.  A neverending catch 22.  Right now the littles are sleeping, the bigs and I are watching a movie, Solomon is putting in some microwave popcorn and I’m typing away.  I find myself thinking daily how are we going to keep trudging along day-in and day-out while so deeply longing for our boy.  How do we balance living here while craving heaven?  How do we do however many more years like this…without Everett?  How does this all work and how do we thrive again?

For now we just keep putting our feet on the floor each morning and as my friend Shannan said, “”Feel what you feel.” This is allowed, friends. Even in December.””  We’re feeling what we feel.  We’re living grief full on and honestly and ugly and truly and deeply.  There’s no hiding from grief.  It finds us from the minute we wake up until the moment our minds drift off to sleep and often it wakes us in the middle of the night.  And instead of pushing it all down, we’re treading in it often afraid it’s going to drown us, but, as shocking as it is to us, we’re still afloat.

The holidays look so different for us now and likely for a lot of you too.  We’re still doing our kindness advent, but I don’t love it as much as I usually do.  I haven’t documented it like I typically do.  Sadness has sucked a lot of joy from the things we normally find joy in.  Josh Kelley’s house lights keep skitzing out on him.  Our pre-lit tree is only half lit and Josh hasn’t found the energy to pull all the lights off…for a second time…and replace them.  We’ve baked less, but are trying to still share as much.  The kids have bounced from the high-of-highs to the low-of-lows and so have Josh and I.  This season is riddled with hard questions for Jesus and lots of truth filled hurts spoken out loud.  We are feeling the weight of our pain and the loneliness of losing our Shuai.  What we wouldn’t give to have him with us.  I still catch myself looking at his sweet face and finding myself still in disbelief.  How could this lively, life loving, laughter filled, ball of joy little boy not be here with us…his family??!  How?!?!

So we trudge on.  We love hard and cry every day.  We try and share our pain with one another and give lots of hugs and comfort when someone is so far down.  We also fight and yell and hurt each other’s feelings. We get lots of things wrong, but by the grace of Jesus I feel like we’re getting some things right.  We bought Everett a little Christmas tree and made ornaments and bought the perfect rainbow solar powered lights.  We decorated his tree and placed it on his grave to help us feel like we’re still celebrating our first Christmas as a family of 8…like we’re still celebrating our first Christmas with Everett.

Like I said, things are wonky and hard and like we never imagined, but we’re trusting He understands our pain and suffering and that He certainly understands what it’s like to watch His son die.  Trusting we serve an unendingly empathetic, loving and merciful Father.

1. Tomorrow kicks off our 7th year of our kindness advent.  You can see a good re-cap post from our original year HERE or you can see last year’s post HERE or you can use the search bar to your right and search “Kindness advent” and see all our past posts and ideas.  This has become a staple in our Christmas season and this year feels so similar to our very first year when we’d just lost my Mom 10 days prior.  We needed something to push us outside ourselves during intense grief and this year is no different.  Still thinking and holding tight to what I learned most from Mom’s death…”When you don’t know what to do for yourself, you can always do for others.”  I’ll post tomorrow on what all we’re doing for this year’s advent.

2. Amon’s kindergarten teacher text me this photo of him from his Thanksgiving meal with his classmates and I almost died.  I mean, he’s the cutest little thing I ever did see.  And his Indian name was Amon Biting Snake 🙂  He was so proud and wore his get up at home quite a bit.  Good teachers are the bomb…teaching and loving on our babies.  Thank you Mrs. Peters!!!!  And yes, the giant holes in his knees, he is the third little boy who has worn these jeans that came to use already used and we were fresh out of clean unholy jeans that day.  We rolled with it and so did his school.

3. These are the faces of 3 brothers who are deeply invested in a Star Wars series and are not one bit interested in their mother taking their photo.  Hahahahahaha.  It made me laugh when I finally looked at it.

4. Let’s just call him Clark Griswold.

5. It’s not even December and we’ve already made gingerbread houses…or at least 3 of the Kelley kids and 1 Kelley cousin have.  They assembled and decorated 4 of these and promptly got busy eating them.  We have lost all our parenting will and are just trying to say “yes” to those things which really aren’t crazy important.  “Can we have a piece of gum?” “Yes.”  “Can we go to the library for the 10,000th time?”  “Sure.”  “Can we make gingerbread houses on November 25th and immediately devour them?”  “Why not.”

6. The cutest little Everett boy in all the lands because, well, I just miss his sweet little face and body.  Shuai Shuai, you are terribly missed and you would have loved every last thing about this holiday season.

And 7. Sometimes things are just so dark…looks and feels like thick darkness, but that light is coming.  The skies still preach to me that is for sure.

 Thank you guys for all the love and kindness…as always.  Thank you for still meeting me hear, reading my mess on the inter webs and sharing your own.  You are encouragers and I am forever grateful.  See you tomorrow with our kindness advent ideas for this year.  Can’t wait to share with you what’s on our calendar.