What a weekend. What a week. I was a little absent last week because I left last Sunday early in the am headed to Ocotal Nicaragua and just arrived home last night. It was such a great week and really nice to be off the grid a bit…really focused in on Jesus’ love for others and for myself. It was nice to take a break from work and life at home and even our sweet kiddos. And It was crazy wonderful to serve along side Josh Kelley and the entire Full Count Ministries team we were with. Josh was able to do 2 weeks back to back in Ocotal and I know it blessed him and challenged him and encouraged him. I loved being able to join him for the second week.
We love Africa, especially Ethiopia and Swaziland because of heart connections which run deep, but I never want to be singled in on one place only. I never want to convince my heart it can only be in and love a minimal amount of places. God is my Savior and He owns my life and heart and He has given me the ability to love and love big. I never want to feel I can only love one special place because our world is vast and filled with beautiful people everywhere who were created in God’s image. God’s love through me and you is just as vast…a bucket which is constantly filled and dumped out on one another and people everywhere and it never runs dry. That’s what God does. And His love is going all over the world with or without us, but how humbled I am when He chooses me to be one of His vessels. When opportunities arise to go into new places I want to be completely open to them, so when the Nicaragua trip was opened to woman I signed up. I wanted to see and experience this amazing place and it’s amazing people.
I’m always so honored to experience some else’s home…their country…their ways…their culture…their joys…their hurts and hardships…their hearts. I know it’s a privilege and I don’t take it lightly at all. God has been really working on me about the fact that everyone’s story carries weight and worth. Our stories are valuable and important and speak so loud and clear as to why we are the people we are…the good and bad…the saved and unsaved. No ones’ story carries more worth than anothers. God came for everyone and there should be no margins and yet we fill our lives with them. The place we live, where we shop, where we send our kids to school, our church home, the parts of town we choose not to venture into…most of life is marginalized because we’re afraid of some peoples’ stories around us…we’re fearful.
I’ve spent a large portion of my life being fearful and God is really working on me about this fear. I feel Him pushing and inching me closer to the edge where He’s just waiting and reminding me He is the God of the universe. Do I really trust Him? Do I trust Him with our kids…do I trust Him with our life, home, money, time…do I really trust Him enough to let go and venture out into His adventure of discovering and listening and caring for anyone’s story…not just family and friends and people on mission trips in other countries, but my neighbors and the strangers who fill the streets around me.
I struggle. It’s not easy. My heart races and I can be quite introverted usually preferring to just sit tight at home. I don’t do well talking to strangers. I feel like I’m ill-equipped and terrible at small talk. My palms sweat and my fingers fidget. I’m a mess, but I know I can love. God has confirmed in my heart over and over and over again I can love. And I can tell people that He loves them. This past week He reminded me it’s just not about me and my insecurities of getting this thing right. It’s not about what I feel ill-equipped to do. I think He likes the areas where I feel not my strongest because it gives Him a chance to show off. He takes my weakness and uses it for His glory. He swoops in and gathers up the glory because He rightly deserves it.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
This post could go on for days. My head is absolutely swirling with a big jumble of thoughts and ideas and joy and hope and still some fear. I can’t wait to share more thoughts on this trip. It was just so good.
I’ve mentioned Full Count a lot on here because it is such an important part of our life and I hope you’ve gone over to their site to read up on and check them out. If not, please do. You can find them on Facebook HERE, Twitter HERE and Instagram HERE. What a work God is doing through this ministry and these people. More tomorrow. Right now I’ve got to go love on some Kelley kids. I’m thinking after some good speech therapy we’ll declare it a chill day at home…puzzle working, book reading, lego assembling, movie watching and maybe some chickfila for lunch. Easing back in to life.
Happy Monday. It’s good to be home.
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My cousin and his family are working on moving to Nicaragua to open an orphanage. They are currently in the process of raising funds. Here is their website http://www.lostnomore.org/
you spoke so much of my own heart here. very comforting to hear someone else share about walking in it & through it, about the learning & working it out in real life. you’re an encouragement.
Whoa…. You and J made two, (not one), but two pics on the Home Page.
Dave went with Full Count in February to do an Umpire Clinic. He still can’t tell his story about God using him on the trip without getting very emotional. It really was a life changing week for him and he went to minister to the people of Ocotal—-but he got ministered to by them. They won his heart and he plans on returning in 2015!! GOD is Good. (And I’m planning on going with him! My first mission trip out of the country!)