Nine Things On A Wednesday

1. I wanted to thank you guys again for all the support and encouragement and votes during Noonday’s GoGetter’sGetaway.  You guys we’re the bomb voters and I am so excited to share that Lindsey Wheeler from Bottle of Tears and myself will be headed to Guatemala in just a few weeks.  I’m super excited and truthfully a little nervous as well.  This will be my first big feeling trip thing…if those words even describe this correctly…since Everett died so I am a little bit nervous.  I am really excited too though because I love Jessica, Jamie and Lindsey so I know I will be in amazing company. Can’t wait to meet the other ladies.  Thank you again and again for helping me get there.  So so appreciative.

2. It’s fall break this week and so far I have been unable to get us out of the house because, ummmm, well, the sadness is just really too much lately.  I told myself we we’re going to do all these fun things and here we are 6 days in and we’ve stayed home each day and watched movies.  I did have big goals to go to the zoo today and then a kid started puking in the middle of the night.  Lately I’ve been trying to be super gracious with myself and this morning I told myself how proud I was of myself (yes you read that right) that I got out of the bed and went to the gym.  We may be on movie #22 in six days, but I’m trying to be cool with that.

3.  Some days I feel immense guilt when my kids can recognize I need their support, encouragement and love.  I’m suppose to be supporting, encouraging and loving them not vice versa.  They are just kids.  But then some really intense rough days roll in and I thank God for empathetic kids who know Mom needs an extra hug or a little note or drawing left to surprise me.  I tell them all the time Josh Kelley and I are the luckiest parents alive and I stand by that statement firmly.

 4. Kroger flowers forever.  The end.

5.  My friend Leah recently shared with us about Special K protein cereal.  You guys!!!  This cereal is so delicious and fits into our 90 Day Challenge we’re doing at our gym.  For some people comfort food is homemade mac-n-cheese or fried chicken…for me…cereal…and cookies. 🙂  I could eat cereal every single day for the rest of my life so when Leah told me about this cereal our family ate an entire box in one morning.  I bought backups asap.  It’s low in sugar and carbs and has 10grams of protein in one serving.  Raise the cereal roof!

6. These two have been quite lost without their Everett.  They we’re best of buddies…out littles…so when I happen upon them getting into a new groove it makes me teary, sad and simultaneously joyful for them.  Thankful for their progress, for their adjustment, for their love for one another and desire to just play.

7.  We’re still working on selling socks.  Thank you guys so much for all the socks that have been purchased so far.  We would LOVE LOVE LOVE to reach our goal for Morning Star’s matching grant.  We’ve got 19 days left and quite the ground to cover so feel free to share with all your peeps.  Let’s max this out and spread the love of funky socks.  You can place your order HERE.

 

8.  We have collected quite a few books on grief and I’ve been unable to read any of them.  Everything I start reading feels too fluffy or religiousy or it makes me think, “There is no way this person wrote this any time close to when their loved one actually died.” or “There is no way this person has ever had anyone close to them die, especial not their child.”  They’ve all made me think that maybe in two years or so I will need these books.  Nothing has struck me just right yet, until now.  My sweet dentist Clair sent me the kindest gift in the mail which include Option B by Sheryl Sandburg & Adam Grant.  I hope this next sentence makes sense, but I didn’t want to read more about God’s hope.  I know about God’s hope & goodness during hard times.  I feel like I know about it pretty well and it’s tucked away tight in my head and heart even when I’m in a really crappy place.  I wanted to read something different and this book has been it.  It combines personal stories of loss and trauma accompanied by statistics and some science behind resilience.  It’s different and unlike anything I’ve ever read that approaches the topic of grief.  I started it this week and have already highlighted the crap out of this book.

 

And 9.  One of the things I’ve been really surprised by is the physical toll losing Everett has taken on our entire family.  Kids who we’re far past wetting the bed started wetting the bed.  All 6 of our kids we’re great sleepers and now we have kids who wake up every night or have nightmares or can’t go to sleep.  Kids who haven’t taken naps in years are now crashing out of sheer sadness.  We all use to enjoy going and doing and now the majority of the time we’d all rather stay home.  Josh and I use to really enjoy getting our workouts in and now it’s a battle.  And lets not even start the convo on food or going to church.  Yikes.  Now it’s this battle to fight against all these things.  Actions have been put in place…therapy for everyone…making ourselves get out of the house…forcing ourselves out of the bed and into the gym every morning…making more purposeful decisions.  It’s constant and exhausting, but we know it’s a fight we’ve got to push for.

I hope to check in again this week, but I’m thinking the zoo might zap every bit of life out of me.  That might be a little dramatic. 🙂  Thanks so much for reading and listening and encouraging.  You guys are always the kindest.

12 Comments

  1. Only love…. I can’t think of anything else to say to you.

  2. Thanks for the book recommendation… I lost my dad this year and while I have yet to pick up a “Grief Book” I have found myself more able to read Memoirs or Fiction with grief and loss themes, like “The Book Thief” and “When Breath Becomes Air.” I also love the podcast “Terrible Thanks for Asking.” It’s funny and dark sometimes which totally fits the bill for me. Still thinking of your family and praying for y’all.

  3. I’ve never found a “good grief” book either but I second “When Breath Becomes Air”. It’s so very beautiful. Lots of ❤️.

  4. A good book that’s not aimed at grief but tackles it in an unbelievable way; Daring to Hope by Katie Davis Majors. Page after page brought me comfort, intense ‘good’ tears, and so, so much hope. I finished it Sunday and plan to start it again this week to soak more of it in. Your words resonate so deeply with me, and I thought of this book several times while I’ve read your recent posts. Thanks for your raw honesty. I know it’s gut wrenching for you to be living it, but you turning it into these posts give me a connection to someone else carrying a heavy burden (though different in nature). And for whatever it’s worth, I think you are doing everything right- especially spending a week watching movies, I imagine it’s a welcome break for your kids too.

  5. Nikki mccullen says:

    Oh I’m so happy for you in knowing that you are one of the trip winners! You may be thinking you don’t have the energy or the heart… but I’m hoping & praying that it will be great for you to get away & try to smile again. You need this! Please try to enjoy & know that you are more than deserving of some “up” time! Continuing to pray for your littles & family ❤️

  6. #3!! When our foster son left(a long and complicated and sad story, like so many in foster care)his sisters were devestated. I would feel so guilty on those mornings when I just missed him or was scared for him and would cry in the car. The girls would offer ME the sweetest hugs and comforting words and I didn’t know what to do with it. I’m grateful for their love and compassion and truly they helped calm me too. They may be my little ones but they are my family too and they are a gift. Thank you for being so open and sharing what it’s like to navigate grieving as a family, I found it to be a complicated and incredibly hard mess. Praying for your little ones and you. And I think 21 movies and working out and showering is totally a fall break WIN!

  7. Libby parnell says:

    Grief work is excruciating at best! Don’t rush it. Love to you and Josh

  8. still praying for you! i don’t think i mentioned this yet, can’t remember. i read steven curtis chapman’s new book a few weeks ago and a lot of it reminded me of you guys. i kind of prayed for you while i read how he felt when his daughter died. maybe it would be a good read for you later.

  9. You are beautiful, Laura Kelley. So. Very. Beautiful. Be loved ❤

  10. Hugs!!!

  11. Ashley Floyd says:

    It did make me laugh out loud at 11:38 PM to see you that you a) gave cereal it’s own number in your count -and – b) that you called it comfort food ❤️

  12. Andrew Marsh says:

    Laura, Josh, young Kelley’s, please don’t be hard on yourselves. You’ve lost the best smiling boy that there surely ever was but you keep on getting up every day. You keep on keeping on. You have each other to be there for, no matter how bad you might think you’re doing at times. I’m sure if you asked each of you every day, you’d all be saying grateful things about each other. Don’t close your ears now but, and you’ll have heard this so many, many times, but God surely puts us in families and we, in those families, do everything we can, sometimes willingly, sometimes quite unwillingly, to support each other, our brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children, mums, dads. So you’re all in there right now, in this place you once never, ever considered you could ever be, but you are THERE! You’ve stayed. You’ve not run away. (Though I could perfectly get that there might have been days you wanted to!!). You’re still doing mum and dad things, kid things, you’re loving as well as your wounded hearts can. Believe me when I say you’re all remarkable people. I love each and every single one of you!

Leave a Reply to Kelley Cancel reply

*