This journey is hard and Monday night was tough and today was really tough. There is absolutely no where else I would rather be in the entire world except right beside Amon and pretty sure wild horses couldn’t drag me out of here…I like to be made of steel, but this is just really hard…watching them do all that has to be done to him and seeing him in pain and discomfort and watching him struggle and hitting some road blocks…pulls my heart strings right out.
So far my goal for each day is to try and keep tears limited during day time hours and then bawl like a baby at night…you know, kind of like a job…business during the day, cry baby at night. So far it’s working out okay.
I’m ready to sleep for days if I could just get my nerves to settle. I am so thankful for healthy children. My heart aches for parents who are watching their child go through much worse than Amon…I can only, only, only imagine how they feel. Praying for the families and children all around us here.
I am beyond thankful for this hospital and its medical staff. His nurses have just been crazy amazing and I think I will forever bring baked goods here now. All that these nurses do is just unreal. They have given me a voice as his mama and have been his advocate and have encouraged me and been honest with me and let me participate in his healing. They have just done so much for Amon and have been something incredible to my heart. This is a time when I could easily be overcome with grief in missing my mom and random nurses…people I do not know…have stood in the gap and given me hugs and reassurance and cried along side with me. Truly amazing.
God really goes before us and walks out each step before we take it. I am taking great comfort in that tonight. That God knew exactly how our day would play out and He already knows what the night will hold. I’m glad He knows my heart and sees Amon’s and that He completely understands…deep, deep in His heart…how painful and hard this is. I’m glad He has walked this road ahead of Amon and our little family. Our captain truly controls the winds and the waves and our ship is a mighty strong one.
I’m now sitting and thinking about the good things this day held. It’s easy to let the rough patches win…control your thoughts…I want the good to win. I want the blessings which are so abundant to be what I look for. It’s definitely not easy…no way…but I get a choice…at the top of my lungs, hallelujah. Yes, that is my choice for tonight. Tomorrow will be a whole new decision making and I may fall flat on my face and wallow and pitch a fit, but tonight I’m making the big decision to see the blessings this day contained.
I’m thankful Amon’s heart is growing stronger and stronger every day. I’m thankful for great head ultrasound results today. I’m thankful for sweet singers who made there way room by room singing to these sweet heart children and for how attentive Amon was to them as they sang.
I’m thankful for Josh who is holding down the Kelley fort so well. I’m thankful for Aunt Jen and Aunt Susan who are taking and picking Harper up from school everyday so Josh can cross another thing off his to-do list. I’m thankful for Sara & Loni who blessed our fridge and freezer with enough food to feed an army. I’m thankful for my mom’s co-workers who have brought Josh and the kids meal after meal. I’m thankful Harper sent flowers just for me.
I’m thankful for Courtney & Patrick who not only watched the wee Kelleys so Josh could come visit us at the hospital tonight, but even did our dishes. I’m thankful for a husband who showed up with the gift of crazy good music for his weary wife. I’m thankful for visits from family and friends that help pass the time.
I’m thankful for calls and texts of prayer and encouragement from family and friends. I’m thankful for craftiness that fills my hands. I’m thankful for pull out couches and comfy pillows and blankets. I’m thankful for Nene & Big Daddy who have been keeping Huddy & Sol quite busy. I’m thankful tomorrow the wee Kelleys get to see their little brother.
I’m thankful for Amon and his sweet heart who have brought us on this journey and for communication with God that has sustained us on our way. Clearly the good outweighs the bad because our blessings are abundant and overflowing. God has walked this road…He has gone before us and He knows our steps. Praise be to Him…His mercies are new every morning. Thank you for the prayers…they are deeply appreciated.
Happy Late Tuesday Night!
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So thankful for YOUR heart Laura!!! I love you and wish we could have stayed longer – Continuing to pray – not gonna stop. Can’t wait for Amon to be able to come for a visit:) Not only is he the Ace of Hearts, but Braveheart as well – mighty little warrior – oh my goodness, he is so very precious – what a bundle of blessing!!!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I so needed to hear these inspirational words tonight and be reminded that we serve a mighty big God whose plan is always better than we could’ve even imagined.
you are showing us all the incredible strength of God, laura! prayers are going out for you and your family!
your blog brought me to tears…I want to say I admire you courage and and faith and how you have carried through so well…for being real…If I could I would give you the biggest hug I could possibly muster…prayers for rest and healing for you and Amon…
Please feel my arms around you this evening….praying and supporting you from afar. My heart is overwhelmed with the journey you and your sweet family are experiencing. I thank God for His goodness and mercy and the knowledge that He is with you at this difficult time. As a mother of children who must be about your age, my heart is aching for the loss of your mother; yet, I know she is there with you right now, just take a moment and feel her presence and love. Be strong sweet Laura, You are are a rock and I admire your strength.
Oh boy have to admit the tears flowed through this blog as I read your words, especially when I saw the photo of the couple singing, what a blessing! You are a strong woman with a big heart Miss Laura. God is the captain of the ship and right now you are a rockin on one wild sea. Hold tight dear friend cling to His promises and yes focus on the good things. I even challenge you to ask God how He can use you on that floor? You have started already by praying for the other families. But maybe there is a dear mommy who does not know about the God of the universe who is passionately in love with her and her child. Or a nurse going through something really hard. That you with your sweet spirit can encourage and share with? Just my thoughts this am, praying like crazy for all of you!
Hugs, prayers, gratitude.
Laura, Amon is going to get better because he has you and your husband on his team. God knew what He was doing when He picked you for Amon.
Have a great day!
Hang in there guys. Nights at the hospital are just sad and anything but restful. Those doctors and nurses are on your side, but you are the best advocate for Amon. Glad God placed in him in such good care. This will no doubt give you a special insight into all that goes on there :). I know we will never forget. Kids are ridiculously resilient! Praying for you.
You bless me daily! Praying for you and yours!
Your outlook inspires me. Praying for Amon, you and the rest of your sweet family. Hope today is a better day!
Praying for you and sweet little Amon!
Laura, I have been following your journey through your blog and updates from your cousin, Amy. Amy and I went to high school together 100 years ago :), and she told me about Amon before you brought him home and asked me to pray. I just wanted you to know that we have been and will continue to pray for that sweet little cherub to recover quickly..he is clearly a fighter! Blessings to you and your mother’s heart…”Now, may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.” 2 Thess. 3:16
In His Love,
Renee Manuel
Just did the big, ugly cry for you right now…enough tears that you shouldn’t have to cry for awhile! Thinking about you guys and wishing I was close enough to be at the hospital every night for a visit. Love you all…
Love that you are finding His blessings in all this Laura. My prayers are with you and the entire Kelley bunch! Love!! .I love your willingness to share your heart! Amon is a beautiful gift from God and He is doing a mighty work in and through Amon and you!
I just want you to know……I don’t know you personally – actually I just saw a link to your webpage off of Facebook….BUT, I’m sooooooo impressed by your family. It’s left an impression on my heart!!! You are such a strong person. It’s so hard to be a mom…and I can’t imagine having a kiddo so sick. I am blessed to have two healthy kiddos. I think far too many times we take things for granted. Seeing your post puts me back in my place and reminds me that I should praise God for EVERY little thing, good or bad, that happens. Thank you Laura!!!!! Keeping you guys in my prayers…..
I am so thankful for your heart in tune (and even when to you it feels it’s NOT in tine) with God’s will for your life, and for your uncanny ability to share that with everyone, not just those of us who might be strangers to you, who follow your posts, in a way that bolsters our own faith and confidence. I can only hope that we are as great a blessing to you and your family as you all are to us. I am thankful for healthy (grown) children, and a new grandchild on the way. I pray that my daughter’s son, my soon-to-be grandson, never has to endure such pain as little Amon, and I am praying for his continued strength and recovery, as well as for the gift of recovery and healing on not just him, but all of the sick children there.
God BLESS those nurses and healers – my (aforementioned) daughter is a critical care nurse at a local hospital, and while she doesn’t treat children, I know what she and her fellow nurses do for their patients, day in and day out, and I know what she went through to get her to her place in the health care field. I know the love and care she gives to each and every patient she is in charge of; I have heard her say, too many times to count, “every patient deserves the best possible care I can give them”. I know how sad she is when one takes a turn for the worst, and I see how happy she is when recovery happens. It takes a special person to be a nurse, and I am so happy that you recognize that they not only care for your precious Amon, but stand in the gaps where you need something else. That’s what they do, and it’s what we are ALL called to do – stand in those gaps.
Thank you for filling a gap for us, even as you allow us to fill one for you.
Your sweet words and thankfulness brought tears to my eyes, but as you say God has already walked this road, and just keep letting him guide you thru this journey. I know it will be just as he has it planned. Keep leaning on the Lord every minute of the day, and be thankful God gave us Dr’s and nurses to care for us. Amon, you, and all the Kelly family are in my prayers. I know it’s hard to see sweet Amon go thru all the recovery, but children heal quickly, and just focus on the Good Days that God will supply. I appreciate your Blog post everyday, so we can see Amon’s progress. Keep your faith, and you have Lots of friends praying for YOU ALL. Love and Blessings
Interceding on Amon’s behalf… Big prayers to our BIG God!
As I read your message this came to mind, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” From 2 Timothy 4:7
Keep fighting the good fight – you are victorious! xoxo
ok, balling right now for you…we are keeping up with y’all through your blog every day and praying for you everyday!! We pray that Amon’s heart and entire body heals quickly and he can be at home with his loving family very, very soon. Please, let us know what we can do! love y’all!!!
okay, i don’t know you, but i wish i was close to you somehow to help, but i can pray for you all. i started following you from a pin of your artwork, and now i’m hooked on your sweet family, from adoption to this surgery. i was doing ok reading until i saw the singers, then i had to choke back the tears. praying for you all and sweet amon to heal quickly. hugs!
okay, i don’t know you, but i wish i was close to you somehow to help, but i can pray for you all. i started following you from a pin of your artwork, and now i’m hooked on your sweet family, from adoption to this surgery. i was doing ok reading until i saw the singers, then i had to choke back the tears. praying for you all and sweet amon to heal quickly. hugs!
sorry, my kiddo hit enter twice i think 🙂