Heart Randomness

I really believed Everett was going to be healed.  There was naturally nervousness and fear, but really and truly I believed he was going to live.  I had even gone so far in my head to when we would finally fly back home to Nashville, Everett in tow, that our friends and family would greet us at the airport because this had been no small victory…hard fought…long hospital stay…heart wrenching ups and downs…every parents nightmare, but Everett had made it.  I could see all our people there waiting for us.  I could see their faces, hear their words and feel their hugs.  Walking off that plane in Nashville with Everett’s hand and foot print molds in my hands instead of my son was one of my lowest moments.  I remember I could not stop the tears as we walked through the airport and saw Josh’s dad standing there all alone waiting on us.  This was so far from how it was supposed to be.  Nothing about this moment was right and it will forever be wedged deep in my heart.  Everett should have lived.

I’m currently reading Barking to the Choir by Gregory Boyle.  I read his other book Tattoos on the Heart several years ago and found myself absolutely stunned and grateful for his writings.  His new book has left me the same.  In this time of my life when I feel utterly misunderstood and so many opinions flying around about me and towards me, this book has been soothing.

“Some things are random and other things are meant to be in our control.  So God is with me when “shit happens” and God is rooting for me when I need to decide things.  And I’m okay with that. I don’t need God to be in charge of my life.  I only need God to be at the center of it.”

“I believe that God protects me from nothing, but sustains me in everything.”

I keep thinking about all these families who are being separated at the border.  I keep thinking about those children and then my own children and their trauma.  I keep thinking about how so much of this flies in the face of what Jesus really longs for from us and really how so much of America’s history does.  We’re not exactly known for treating others as we want to be treated or looking after the poor, the widowed, refugees, the imprisoned, the marginalized, etc.  It all just makes me sad.

THIS ARTICLE is great if you feel overwhelmed, like I do, in how and what you can do to help with parents & children being separated at the border.  I spent a brief part of my morning sending messages to my Governor and Senate & House representatives by texting the word “RESIST” to 50409.  It walks you through the process while letting you share your own words.

I loved this Twitter thread by Marlena Graves:

1) I’ve had Christian ppl tell me that families being separated at the border deserve it because they broke the law. First, some news outlets are reporting that those who merely present themselves to DHS for help/asylum are separated

(2) crossing the border has in the past been a misdemeanor, like a speeding ticket. Imagine if your children/family members/ were taken away from you for a speeding ticket. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime.

(3) Christians, let’s read our Bibles and consider our experiences. Moses’s mother, Jochabed illegally hid him. The midwives didn’t kill the Hebrew boys like Pharaoh had commanded them to. Jesus “broke the law” by healing on Sunday & eating grain in the fields with his disciples

(4) Christian missionaries break national laws by smuggling Bibles and witnessing to others in countries where it is against the law. Why do those who say “families who break laws by crossing the border get what they deserve” ask for pastors and other missionaries to be released

 It just keeps running through my mind.

The wave pool is our favorite summer place.  It’s not just a fun place for me to take the kids, but it’s weirdly comforting.  All of my children have experienced this place with me during the summer and it holds such fond memories.  I can vividly see Everett here with us.  I hope I always can.  The wave pool evens the playing field.  Which sounds weird, but people of every kind go there.  It’s hot and smothery in Tennessee and the wave pool is a giant pool…it speaks all languages and regards no one as unwelcomed…unless you’re wearing a thong. 😉  It’s the most diverse place for summer fun in Nashville.

And I don’t get a chance to listen to too many podcasts…there are just far too many small humans in my ears ALL THE TIME, but when my friend Sherry told me her and Kami were recording a podcast for the Archibald Project about foster care I knew this would be a MUST LISTEN for me and boy was it.  When the epidsode finally came out I could not escape my family quick enough. 🙂  Please give it a listen.  Kami and Sherry are so poised and wise and kind and honest and I could not love it more.  These are the words we need to here from famillies who have had their children removed and from those foster families stepping in to help not only with the child, but also to cheer on these families who are working so hard towards reunification.  CLICK HERE to listen and be in awe of these brave, strong women who are for each other.



  1. I’m with you: If the response to children being torn from their parents arms and put into a detention center is “Well, did they cross the border illegally?” I just have nothing more to say. We are clearly operating from a completely different moral and ethical code when the response is anything other than horror, compassion and a desire to fight to get those kids back where they belong.

    Such a good point about missionaries breaking the law, Laura. Such a good point. It reminds me of another one I saw this week of Christians who are saying “Well, they crossed illegally” while simultaneously sending their own children off to do “missions projects” in those children’s countries, claiming love and compassion for them.

  2. DEBra C says:

    Excellent post, Laura.

  3. You are a great woman. I miss Everett. I loved reading your updates from Ann Arbor. I don’t understand but I miss him. Not a rainbow goes by when we don’t think of Everett. America. What has happened to us?

  4. ESTRADA_H says:

    11 months. 🙁 That shelf has me crying all the tears. He should be here with you!

    Thank you for speaking out against the family separation. There’s still so much to be done.

Leave A Comment