Foster Care: So How’s It Going?

I get this question a lot.  I get emails about it a lot.  I should ask Josh Kelley if he gets asked this too. When I think about this new whirlwind we are in honestly it’s just an honor and also hard.  There is so much to this foster parent/foster family gig.

We got a phone call early in the morning just the other day about a little boy who needed placement.  Our home was not approved for a little boy his age due to lack of space so we had to say no.  We’ve had to do this before.  Sometimes when they are looking for a home they don’t see what the social worker has or has not approved you for.  I thought about this kid all day.  Finally I asked Josh to call back and check on him.  They had worked out a placement and I breathed a little easier.  It’s not easy when you are given such personal and sacred details to someones life…especially when they are a small child’s which involves such loss in a moments notice.

Then there’s the emails and scheduling of visitations and doctors appointments and documentation and training (which we are of course behind on) and meetings and court dates and throw in all your other regular day life stuff and the rest of your family.  Some days it’s really hard to keep up and to keep everything straight.  Some days there is no treading water, just drowning.  But you guys, we are all quite in love with this little girl, but also her family.  They are beautiful people.  There is a friendship now and mutual respect.  There are texts and face timing in between visitations.  We are their #1 cheerleaders because they deserve someone cheering them on in such a noble fight they are fighting.  They love their girl madly and it’s something amazing and humbling to watch.

And then there are our hearts.  And our kids hearts.  I know our days are becoming shorter and shorter so we make sure we keep talking about how we will all miss her like crazy, but how thrilled we will be when she gets to go home.  We talk about it all the time.  We pray for it.  Want to bring me to tears, just let me hear sweet Hudson asking God again “Please God help _____ to get to go home soon to her mommy and daddy.”  I am a lost cause every.single.time I hear these words from our kids’ mouths.  They know the goal.  We know the goal.  We’ve talked about it from the beginning, but that doesn’t mean it will make the transition any easier.  Harper says all the time “I’m going to miss her so much.” but her momma promises we will get to babysit and help out whenever they need it.  We’ve all got our hopes set on it.

I think a lot about this quote by Francis Chan from You and me Forever:

“Sometimes people are paralyzed by fear of failure.  They are so afraid they might do the wrong thing that they do nothing.  We need to learn to err on the side of action, because we tend to default to negligence.  So many won’t do anything unless they hear a voice from heaven telling them precisely what to do.  Why not default to action until you hear a voice from heaven telling you to wait?”

When I think about our family leading up to becoming a foster family…we would have missed this.  We would have missed this blessing.  We would have missed this opportunity to love and be loved.  We would have missed out on meeting this crazy amazing family.  We would have missed Jesus.  We thought so many things like we don’t have enough room, we need to move first, we’ve already got 4 kids, we don’t have the time, we’re stretched too thin, etc etc etc.  God is so good at proving us wrong…that truly His plans are best and when we think we just can’t He certainly can.

I read this article last night and it made me weepy.

“What grace that in fostering we have the opportunity to directly address the severe vulnerabilities of children in our community, experience a transformation of our minds, and gain access to a deep and profound joy – both in ourselves and in the children for whom we have the privilege of caring.”

I can’t get over what a privilege this really is.  Yes it’s hard and complicated some days, but geez what an honor…what a gift God is giving us…to love on this kiddo and her family and try and help the family unit stay intact.  I don’t know if I’ll ever understand it all, but I don’t think this is a fight we’re soon to give up on.

Happy Friday!