Day One {Nerves}

We are finally home.  Big, huge, ginormous praises.  I can hardly believe it.

As they began going over our papers before leaving the hospital the anxiety hit.  I had felt it when I did the CPR class a few days after Amon’s surgery, but I guess it had disappeared a bit since we were at the hospital for so long.  But it all came flooding back quickly shortly after our nurse began going over Amon’s medicines.  And she kept going and going and going.  Josh could clearly see it on my face.  Here it comes.  We’re taking him home now.  No machines to let us in on his heart rate and oxygen levels and pulse.  No daily blood draws to check everything.  No vitals every 2 hours.  No doctors or nurses listening to his heart every time they come in his room.

We’re it now.  Stress.  Big, big stress.  And worry.

We got home late.  The night was kind of rough just because Amon is totally off his old schedule and he has so many meds and shots to take at very specific times.  Never did I ever think I would give anyone…anyone a shot.  I still have to sike myself up each time I have to do it.

We’ve set our phones up to remind us of medicine/shot times.  Apparently heart medicines are pretty important.

Amon already had a doctors appointment today.  He’ll also see his cardiologist this week too.  Everybody has to check in on him pretty regularly to start off.  We will see his surgeon next week.  And the doctor said he looked great.  Of course he looks great.

Amon and I are pretty tight now.  And tired.  Very, very tired.  I could probably sleep for days.  Days I said.  For real.  Days.

One of the nurses sent a stethoscope home with me.  Harper loves it.  She has given everyone in the house an exam…multiple times…whether you want it or not.

Harper is also in heaven.  I feel like her little spirit has lifted to a new level of joy and contentment.  She is truly madly in love with her littlest brother.  And he still saves the biggest smiles for her.

No, he’s not flipping you off.  When I walked in the door from Amon’s doctors appointment Josh said, “I thought we were going to pass you on our way to the emergency room.”  Turns out, Sol was trying to open up a big chestnut with his shovel and sliced his finger pretty good.  Lots of blood.  But no emergency room visit…just a couple of different dressings to finally do the trick.

And it’s that time again for Huddy’s asthma to flair and his breathing to go crazy.  I could win big bucks if I bet on Huddy’s asthma every year.  Which makes me super nervous because we have been given strict instructions that not only is Amon not suppose to go anywhere for 6 weeks, but anyone who comes in our house cannot be sick, have been around others who have been sick and they must have had the flu shot.  And now Huddy is already sporting a runny nose & cough with his breathing issues.  Awesome.

But I was reminded today when I read this:  Philippians 4:6-7  ^“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

We are joyous and nervous as all get out to have Amon home and God is so good.  Why would we worry even for a minute.  I’m learning.  It’s been a great first day back home…I’m just so glad to be home.

Happy Monday!