As of Late…

And so it begins.  The first Monday of the new year feels pretty legit.  Our Christmas tree is down and decorations have been put away.  I took down all our Christmas cards and cleaned our chalkboard for some new art.  We cleaned the house and de-cluttered and tossed stuff and donated and re-organized.  I even threw out all my running socks that had holes in them and Josh Kelley got me new hole-less ones.  Maybe this was our prep for the new  year.

It seems there are 5 million different ideas and dreams and thoughts and goals running through my brain.  Josh Kelley is a good listener.  He helps break things down and brings wisdom into my chaos.  We’re a good pair.  Ideas and goals have been discussed.  Plans have been made.  Everything isn’t set in stone though.  Some things will develop more over the year and we don’t want to miss out on God’s works, so we’re keeping our eyes open for all the new relationships and opportunities He will present.  Everyday is meant for service..to love Him and others.  Everyday is His.

A big thing for our new year is just flat out attempting things.  So many times I’m hindered by my own pride and the possibility of failure and what that looks like to others or the awkward and uncomfortable feelings.  I’m going to learn to be okay with failure.  I want to learn to wear it proudly.  I may fail, but I didn’t sit still…I did something.  And the more we talk about how awkward and uncomfortable things will be in the beginning, when action is put into place and you just keep doing, the awkwardness and uncomfortableness lessens and relationships build and love moves in.

I want to be thankful this year and honest and encouraging.  I want to stop feeling like I’ve been inconvenienced by someone or something and realize things just aren’t as big a deal as I’ve made them out to be and everything doesn’t revolve around me.  Give people a break, show grace and mercy…goodness knows I need more myself.  Jesus lived in service and in love.

“…But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  Mark 10:43-45

I want to be more Christ-like.  I want more of Him and less of me.  I want to love like He loves.  Show compassion and grace like He does.  I want to be invested in people’s lives as deeply as He is invested in each of us.  I want to be generous and kind like He is.  It’s so simple and yet so difficult.  It kind of feels like the answer to everything…the solution to all my struggles…the resolve.

I also realized quickly when making my goals I started adding to-dos to my goal list as well.  Things like…call plumber…because Amon has officially put the upstairs toilet out of commission.  Listening to water pour down in between your walls and then run out of a door frame makes my stress level rise 🙂  And fix dry wall.  I’ve decided throwing some to-dos on your official “Goals of 2015” list has the possibility to put the pressure on to actually get these things fixed and will make me feel a tad accomplished upon completing said things.

Tomorrow school starts back.  This brings hope to my heart for a few reasons:  1) Tomorrow I will be in our house…alone…and I will listen intently to the silence.  I might cry.  2) I will eat lunch with a friend.  She’s a grown-up, which means we’ll probably have a conversation and she won’t throw any food on the floor.  3) For approximately 5 hours tomorrow I will have my own personal space.  This has the potential to bring about tears of joy.

And now I’ve got an intense date with Harper, Hudson and Solomon to finish the nail biting movie City of Ember.  What can I say…Josh Kelley finds us some winners at the library.  We had to turn it off yesterday when a giant bug entered the scene.

Hudson:  Turn it off.  Turn it off.  It’s too much.

He then proceeded to wake up at 3am…”because of that scary movie.”  Geez.  We’re about to tackle our fears people.  Giant bugs, PG rating and all.  Wish us luck.

Happy Monday!