All The Emotions

Lately I’ve been a tad on the emotional side.  I use to be stone cold…rock solid.  No tears for this girl.  And then death pulled the wool over my eyes and made me all kinds of crybabyness. Over time I gained some composure, but now I waiver between straight face, no nonsense and complete crying disaster.  It’s quite the ride.

The past few weeks, just gave me all the emotions.  Foster care is a doozy on the heart and head.  So many feelings to feel and balance and juggle.  High highs and low lows with a dash of straight confusion.  Gah!

I spoke to my SIL and BIL’s children’s ministry at their church Sunday about Swaziland and all the kiddos at Ngungwane.  During the first service I might have choked up when I told them about the playground.  I went into my swallowing coping mechanism I do when my voice quivers and I can feel a flood coming.  My emotions are crazy high about these precious children.  We’re all worth fighting the good fight for, but man, these kids might take the cake for me.

We’re officially at 18% of our funds needed which is awesome, but we still have a long way to go.  $16,250 is a lot.  That is no small number, but I know God is much bigger than a number.  I’ve seen Him do miracles.  I’ve seen Him show off.  I’ve seen Him do what only He can do.  We want Him to get all the praise and glory for this playground.  I always struggle with wanting things done my way and in the time frame I think they should be done in.  I struggle with making things about me.  God reminds me all the time everything is about Him and everything is for His glory.  When I let go…when I open my hands wider…when I relinquish this control my flesh desires…when I tell Him my feelings and struggles openly and honestly…He does what He does best!

Please pray for this playground with us.  Please tell your friends and family.  Please consider making a tax deductible donation HERE.

I know a playground isn’t everybody’s thing.  I know it isn’t going to pull at everyone’s heart and check book.  And I always feel like when I ask people if they would consider giving to something I have to be willing to put my time and money where my mouth is.  Emails are hitting my inbox and I’m so excited to start lining up more Bible journaling classes from women’s events to private birthday parties to girls nights to help in the funding for this playground.  Hands are up and palms are open.  I know this class can be a tool God uses.  Contact me HERE if you are interested in coming to August’s Bible journaling class held in our home or if you are interested in me coming to you to teach the class.  I’m game people.

Amon’s Gotcha Day is coming up.  He pulls at just about everything in my heart.  He also has a cardiologist appointment coming up.  All the emotions right there, but He cares even for the sparrows.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.   And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  Matthew 10:29-31

Hudson did another triathlon on Saturday.  Oh my word!!!!  I was a wreck watching all those sweet kids working so hard and smiling all those big smiles.  There was a grandfather standing beside us at the start of the transition area and you would have thought every kid was his own.  The words he yelled and the way he cheered for each kid was so kind and sweet and personal.  He made me cry.  And of course Hudson got me because well, he’s mine and he has fun doing these and it makes him smile a really big smile and he has an amazing attitude and I can tell he feels proud of himself and that makes me really proud of him.

Tonight we went and met the kids new teachers.  Have I mentioned A) I love our neighborhood school  And B) I love teachers!!!  I think we hit the jack pot again this year.  And walking around meeting each teacher while the kids munched on popsicles made me all kinds of weepy.  Hudson’s teacher from last year moved up and now Harper is going to have her.  You guys, I could have sobbed a 1000 tears when I hugged her.  Harper could not be more excited about walking into school tomorrow and heading to her classroom.  And we now have one 3rd grader and two 1st graders.  3rd grade was my favorite year…and our kids are too big…and that made me ask Josh Kelley to go to Sonic and get me a coke float before he went to the gym tonight…and then I sat on the couch and ate it while feeling all my feelings.  It’s what I do.

And I will be speaking at 2016 Created for Care Conference.  For someone…like myself…who has never spoken at any type of conference…this kind of pushes my emotions through the roof.  I mean, we’re only halfway through 2015 and I have to talk myself off the ledge because I feel pretty out of my comfort zone with this one, but when they asked, I found myself saying yes.  It’s pure craziness.

So yes, sometimes I just feel all the emotions and feelings and my emotions run wildly crazy.  I have a sneaking suspicion a lot of you can relate 🙂

Happy Tuesday!